Uncomfortable with Wife's male massage therapist?

Question

My wife of ten years has been going to the same massage therapist for the past year and I just found out that she is topless during most of the massage. I don't feel comfortable with her being like this in front of another man. My wife says it's completly none s*x sexual and appropriate. I don't agree. Am I being unreasonable?

Answer 1

Yes

Answer 2

It isn't a sexual thing and I believe you are supposed to be topless. He is there to help her muscles feel better, not boink her senseless. He is a professional.

Answer 3

She must have a very tough job. I've been in the construction business for over 30 years and never went for a massage, so i'm guessing she's got a rough life and really needs it. You could offer to do it for her instead of going to some stranger and paying for it. Or you could ask her if she minded you going to a stranger and paying for a rub down too and see what it's all about.

Answer 4

I go topless with my massage therapist.  The massage works better if there is no clothing that can get in the way of the massage.  If the therapist tries anything on her, he can go straight to jail and I don't think he's willing to lose everything.

Answer 5

Well considering that he's seen her topless in very close proximity for the last year, he's probably very used to seeing her this way. Stop worrying about it.

Answer 6

Well, why don't you take up massage therapy, learn some basic steps. Check out this therapists certification. Male or female, this can be questionable in a spouses mind I guess, and if they are certified, they wouldn't mind revealing their credentials to you, the general public. As a matter of fact, they're supposed to have it in clear view. If they are the real deal, understand that they are professionals. Now, if your wife is bringing home some unspoken erotica, then she needs to try somebody else. Reality is that you don't want anybody touching your topless wife. Period.

Answer 7

I don't think your being unreasonable.

Go find yourself a nice hot female massage therapist, go lay on her massage table naked with just a towel covering your rear and see how fast she gets the point.

Answer 8

No you are not being unreasonable.She is naked and he is rubbing her all over.Come on,now.Who are we kidding.She likes it and so does he.I had a massage therapy once done by a male.It was the most uncomfortable thing ever.Because i paid a lot for it,i didn't stop it.He was turned on big time and i was uncomfortable big time.

Answer 9

Have you been there with her?  If not, why don't you go and meet the man.  You may feel better once you do.  Or hey - make appointments with a therapist there too so you and your wife can go together.  My husband and I have had side by side massages twice.  He had a woman and I had a man.  It was great!

Answer 10

It depends on how much you & your wife trust each other. Usually the person lays flat facing down. Women usually remove their bra for the massage. The therapist is supposed to be professional thus allowing his hands only to massage the areas of the back and not near her breast area. If he touched her inappropriately, she would have mentioned it. She has been with the same massage therapist for a year now. Unless they are having an affair I don't think you have anything to worry about. You may want to try giving her massages whenever she wants them. Otherwise, you may leave well enough alone and be proud you can trust your wife. Good luck.  

Answer 11

no, I think it would make me uncomfortable too. talk to her communicate your feelings, see if there isnt a compromise.

Answer 12

Yes, you are being unreasonable. Why not go with her one time and get a couples massage?

Answer 13

give yourself a break. nobody wants your ugly wife, i am sure male massagist has a hotty at home. and u have to be topless to have massage

Answer 14

Well . . . yes.  It's also a natural response.  When you discuss it with your wife, you might get further if you approach it from the angle of "Honey, I know it's non-sexual and appropriate, but I'm being a red-blooded male and it's making me crazy."  Overdo it a little if you want, as making her laugh will always make her more sympathetic to your wishes.  You could be dramatic and say "I'm jealous, I'm irrational, I'm passionate for you, I want to have you right here and now and take you dancing (etc etc) . . . now will you PLEASE get a new, female massage therapist?  I know you like this one, but surely there's some way to get you to switch?"

Negotiation and humorous drama FTW!

Ha ha, good luck.

Answer 15

re: Am I being unreasonable?

......you're being insecure and showing low/poor self esteem.  

If you trust your wife and respect your self, you will allow her to do/be whatever is appropriate and not be jealous, insecure, suspicious, threatened, affraid, etc. UNLESS what she does violates the trust and standards YOU BOTH have agreed on.

Grow up!  Your wife needs to be your best friend, so treat her like a friend and not some badly behaving child........DADDY!

Answer 16

you should tell her that you are uncomfortable and for her to get a female therapist. If getting a message is all she cares about then she should not have a problem changing. She is introducing unnecessary stress into the relationship.

Answer 17

I am a male massage therapist. Yes, you are wrong. By law clients have to be draped. So if she's topless she's probably lying down. Hence the back is only exposed. when shes lying on her back a sheet covers her breast.

male massage therapist massage so many women it becomes a 'job' and not really sexually amusing at all. Most women go to male therapist because they're stronger.

no big deal. Lighten up. If she's blowin him kisses or some **** than you should worry.

Answer 18

You kinda have to be topless to get a massage. I don't think you're being completely unreasonable..maybe just a little insecure, then again if you're that uncomfortable with it..as your wife she should compromise with you..perhaps find a female therapist instead of male.

Talk to her about it..see if she'd be willing to switch, after all..it's just a massage therapist, you're not asking her to give up a family member or a best friend.