Under what circumstances would you consider adult adoption?

Question

I know most US states permit an adult to adopt another adult. Have you or are you considering being in this situation? Why would you want to adopt an adult? Why would you want to be adopted as an adult?

Answer 1

I grew up in foster care and was never adopted.  I am an adult now, but I still crave some parents or a family that I can connect to.  If I found that, I would be happy to be adopted by them.  Like sometimes secretly I wish that I could join my adult friends families.  

I think about this often, and it would not be about $$, but about having a connection with someone that sincerely cares about you.  I would even sign a paper saying "I don't need any money or inheritance."

Answer 2

Adult adoptions go far back in history in many civilizations.  They were most commonly used to establish an heir where one did not exist, particularly within royal lines.  

They continue to be used to establish a legal right to inherit.  In caretaker relationships, it can be used to establish a next of kin relationship, allowing the adopting party/caretaker the legal right to make next of kin decisions.

Sometimes two people simply want to legalize a relationship that they define as parental in nature.  Reunited first parents and their now adult children who were previously adopted by others sometimes find themselves in this situation.

Answer 3

My step father adopted me as an adult.  We waited until I was an adult so we would not have to get the permission from my biological father.  I did not know where to find my biological father and did not want to speak to him.  From the time I was six years old my stepfather was my Dad.  He did everything a dad does and I was always his daughter in both ur minds.  I guess  I wanted the paper to make it official.

Answer 4

I would think that if a child had been in the foster system for awhile and had yet to be adopted, when they became an adult they could choose to be adopted into their foster family if they feel that it is their family. Adult adoptions allows the adoptee to really choose to be adopted.  

Answer 5

I am sure that the intent of the law was to allow people to adopt their own heirs.  However, the two occasions where I have seen it done involved foster children.  This foster family cared for two children from the time they were in elementary school (I think one was 5 the other 7 - or close to that anyway) but had never been able to adopt them because the state was never able to terminate the biological mother's rights.  She always did just enough to avoid termination but never enough to get the kids back.  The kids both wanted to be adopted by the foster family.  They WERE family, except in the legal system.  So, when the kids turned 18, they did adult adoptions on them.  

In some ways it may seem silly.  After all, if it is love that matters, why bother with the paper, right?  However, there are a number of legal reasons to formalize such a relationship.  FMLA, for instance, does not protect "former foster children" or "friends".  That means if the child wanted to care for the parent, or the parent for the child (in case of a car accident, for example) they would not fall under FMLA job protection.  (On a side note - this is one place where step-families are protected.)  

Also, life insurance policies will often make it difficult for people to leave money to someone other than a family member.  It CAN be done, but it is a bigger hassle and has a greater chance of being overturned in court.  

"Next of Kin" is another big reason why formalizing such a decision is necessary.  In the case of a tragic accident, unless your arrangment has legal standing, the wishes of your adopted family member is given absolutely no weight - even if no other "next of kin" can be found.  That would mean that some social worker or judge would be making life altering decisions instead of your adoptive family.  Yuck!  

The last reason is something I am considering in the future.  Handicapped citizens often need a guardian to represent them in the social aid system.  However, social aid doesn't recognize anyone who is not related as being a potential guardian.  My son's sister is not related to me in the legal sense.  She lives with her grandparents, since neither her biological father or mother is even remotely interested in her.  However, her grandparets aren't all that young.  (In their 50s).  It is unlikely they will be able to care for her, or help her navigate the social services system when she is older.  I love her dearly, and would like to adopt her if she wishes it when she has a choice in the matter.  

Answer 6

A situation that my husband and I came across (or were discussing it would've been a good idea... neither one of us were directly involved):

An elderly woman had a middle aged gentleman living with her as a "share-a-home" situation. He was a caretaker for her in exchange for rent. This went on for several years... maybe 15-20 years.  A friend of mine was sitting in for this guy while he went to visit his family over Thanksgiving.

So, I went to pick up the friend (who doesn't have a drivers license) and the elderly woman's family, who had dinner in a nice resturant, was over, and they brought "grandma" a "to go box" so she could sit there and eat in front of her.  She wasn't exactly a home-bound invalid. She was about 90, needed quite a bit of assistance, but got out on occasion. It wouldn't have been much more to bring her to the resturant with them.....

Anyway, Elderly Woman passes on.  She willed the house to her caretaker gentleman, who cared for her (physically, emotionally, etc) a lot more than anyone in her biological family did.  The family had the will overturned, so he got nothing for caring for her for all those years. (not like he did it for the house, but it would've been nice if they respected her wishes)

Now, had she adopted him at some point, the judge probably wouldn't have overturned the decision to give him the house.