Underground Disrupton Adoption?

Question

Is it true there is an underground disruption adoption network? Anyone out there with information?

Answer 1

yes there is one, no it probably is not a good thing....

there are legal ways to get help, contact your DSS and ask for services... or

more info on the underground

http://childrenintherapy.org/newsroom/at...

Answer 2

Yes.... I am on all of their listservs and see at least 2-3 Re-Home aggreements every week....

It is an Underground Cult and if you are interested contact me, I have a PRIVATE member only forum for people to understand and be aware of this issue.... We do need certain info to insure you are not one of them.....

Answer 3

Huh?  I have never heard of this what is it?   Trade your kid in for another one?  Consignment?

Answer 4

I've never heard of this.  No idea what it is.

Edit: OKay, I have heard of the pretty intensive (or bizarre) "treatments" for Reactive Attachment Disorder chidren, including the holds, the "rebirthing" therapy and so forth.  Very controversial and also dangerous.  I didn't realize there was an underground network supporting it.  These comments are quite eye-openers.  

I do think that people need to realize that Reactive Attachment Disorder is extremely severe and the parents that feel they have to resort to something as terrible a these underground networks aren't just "giving their children back because they are bad."  These are the most severe of the extreme cases,  I've seen these kids over and over working in a child and adolescent psychiatric unit.  These are the kids that kill family pets, attack other family members, burn things and otherwise are such a disruption that any sort of a "normal" family life is impossible.  The children need psychological intervention and the parents need support, not judgement, so that they feel like there are alternatives to these extreme measures.

Answer 5

I have never heard of this underground thing, and I would not want to sound supportive of anything that I did not have knowledge about.  However, I do want to make some comments about adoption, RAD, and disrupted adoptions.  I can only speak from my own personal experience, and from those whose experiences I know about.  I have child who has Reactive Attachment Disorder.  He came to us at age 3, after being severly negelcted and abused by his birth parents.  We were completey baffled by his rages and his strange fears.  We have had him in counseling ever since we adopted him.  However, not until I learned about RAD, and began using more effective techniques of managing his behavior, have we been able to see some real hope for his future.  I have also learned that many of these children do end up with disprupted adoptions.  However, do not judge those parents until you have walked a mile in their shoes.  You cannot possibly imagine the chaos and constant stress that some parents live in every day, trying to help a RAD child.  Many things that we did were the normal things that parents do, but to no avail.  That's because the child has a serious break in his ability to trust adults to keep him/her safe.  It's futile to try to convince the child that you are the authority, and that he should obey you, when his/her subconscious is fighting for life to maintain autonomy.  Some of these children are serious threats to the parents.  Fortunately, we managed to hang on to our sanity long enough to find out how to better help him.  We were determined to never give up, because we knew that no one else would love him the way we do.  But these kids are not always reachable.  Unfortunately, some have too much damage.  

I am sure there are a few adoptive parents who do not understand the importance of their commitment to their adopted child.  But, I believe that they are the exception, rather than the rule.  It is rare that adoptive parents are educated about the probable struggles that lie ahead for their beloved child.  And, getting help for the child can be extremely expensive.  So, we need to remember that these children were traumatized before they ever entered into the adoptive family.  Yet, the adoptive parents are left with the huge task of helping the child heal from the past wounds.  

One final comment to those young ladies who are struggling with the decision about whether to give their child up for adoption.  Please do not base your decision on a few nightmare stories.  Most adoptive parents are mature people who have thought a long time about being parents.  It is not an easy decision.  That's for sure.  Whatever you decide should be based on what you truly believe is best for the child.

Answer 6

you mean people actually do this to their kids they adopted?  Are you for real?

This is insain.  Omg I really don't think I will give up my baby after reading about all this.  How can I trust anyone else with my baby that they won't do something like this?  This is aweful.  I thought adoption was supposed to be a good thing.

I'm seriously not sure if I should give my baby up.  **** it, I may be only 17 but holy c**p this is aweful.  I haven't stopped crying since I came on tihs dam site.

Answer 7

yes...

and most of them (which are underground for a reason) simply are aparents, who blame disruption on everything and everyone but themselves (the agency, the difference in culture, the child's genetic/behavioral... issues, the birthparents, et al).  what's also sad, is that there is a part of this nonsense that offers "replacement" counseling for another child.

this reminds me of a trade-in on a car.  sickening.

ETA: amber, i'm so sorry you are crying. this is the real deal about adoption. unfortunately, many young women--as you suspect--have no idea when they give up their kids.

Answer 8

I have heard of cases where adoptive parents decided they didn't 'want' the child after the adoption.  The one specific case was a couple who got divorced after the adoption and neither wanted custody.  

I have never heard of there being a network of such people and am disgusted by the thought.  Once the adoption is final, they are your children and your responsibility.  The whole point of the home study and placement process is to avoid such problems.  

(One note, I don't think this sort of behavior is limited to adoptive parents.  I have seen people treat their biological children much the same way.)

Answer 9

Been in adoptions a long time and never heard of a formal system or organization for "rehoming" (can we say dumping?).  But the activity of sloughing one's children is certainly not new......parents have been abandoning their children or their parenting responsiblitlies since the beginning of time.  ALL kinds of parents -- bio, adoptive, etc.  But please do not jump on the bandwagon with this......if bio parents do this, we don't say ALL bio parents are bad and will dump their child.  Nor can we do this with adoptive parents -- adoptive parents as a whole do NOT do this.  And, in fact, more children are abused by bio parents than adoptive parents.  There is no screening, counseling or education given to bio parents, and that is probably the reason.  

However, I have tried to educate parents for years about international adoption, and how mistreated these children can be prior to adoption.  Many (Not All) have special emotional needs and voids that cannot be healed.  Not because of their separation from their bio family alone, but rather because of the mistreatment or deprivation they experienced in orphanages.  In addition, the alcohol exposure in utero by bio parents is extremely high, but often covered up.  These children can need special care and may have lifelong challenges, or not.  But the risk is there, and if parents are not educated about it, then the child is at great risk.  I personally never fully supported many nternational adoptions, although acutely sympathetic to the plight of the children, because initially, most of the adoptive parents wanting to adopt children overseas where seeking a "white" baby, while beautiful healthy babies of color waited in foster care.  Now, of course, that is not the case.  ALL infants of color in the U.S. are now adopted as newborns, and there are tons of families waiting for the opportunity to parent them.  Progress has been made!

I would like more information on the underground network, if someone could email it to me.  Thanks.