Undesirable choices mother of two?

Question

I'm 22 with two kids I just had my son a couple weeks ago and i am looking for a job now and since i have no one to care for my kids child care assistance thru the state. My mom and i aren't getting along at all too much any more and I can't take too much more of being here. It would be foolish to become homeless and live in a homeless shelter when I have a home I just don't get along with my mom she criticizes me and so on. Okay it's hard for me to care for my kids and try to look for a job too. How would I look taking them to a job interview. My mom is helping my sister take care of her kids but she won't help me until every once and blue moon. I understand she has a life of her own she wishes to pursue. But I am asking for her assistance and I will pay her back the money for the time and everything else. My life is going is a downward spiral I can't get financial from my community college because my appeal was denied and the colleges in missouri don't offer what i am looking for does anyone have suggestions please. I'm trying to do what i can.Mom makes it seem like we are a burden to her. Anyway I need suggestions before i make a foolish mistake by leaving to a homeless shelter

Answer 1

You cannot take them to the job interview under any circumstances. Find a sitter to watch them a couple of hours here and there while you go find jobs. You will NOT get hired bringing them to a job interview. The company will then know that you are incapable of finding daycare and will be missing work a lot.

If by a couple of weeks ago you actually mean a couple of weeks -- unless you have family to watch your baby it is unlikely that you will be able to find daycare. Most sitters don't take babies under 6-12 weeks or more.

You and your sister and all the kids are a burden to her. Sorry, but it's true. She thought she had an empty nest, not a minimum of five kids coming back to move in.

I don't know where you are in Missouri exactly. I mean I would not want you to take your kids to an inner city shelter in St. Louis or Kansas City, but if there is a recently built shelter with a good program, I would actually go there.

Really.

They can find a program for your children while you look for work.

They can help you define your goals and find a job.

They can help you get low income housing and find a decent place to live.

Curious: what are you looking for that colleges in Missouri don't offer? I would think Missouri would offer good variety. Maybe you could pursue a second choice career for now?  Lots of people change careers much older than 22 so what you do now is not what you're stuck with.

I guess, talk to your mom and ask if you are a burden to her, point blank and if she had her choice would she have you and your kids move out (without regard to her feelings about your sister).

I think your chances are better in a homeless shelter, though if your mother does not want you to leave you should stay until you are fully recovered from childbirth.

Answer 2

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 3

You need to sit down and talk with your mom. And say "Look mom I really need your help right now so could you just for once help your daughter out. You help (your sisters name) out but you don't help me!"

Something like that. And I wouldn't take kids into a job interview. Try to find a good cheap daycare that you trust to watch your kids. Or if you have a friend you could drop them over for just a little bit. And tell your mother that you won't be a burden anymore if you help her. Even if your not a burden I'd say that to make her feel bad. Also you could try to use student loan. Idk the website but they have those for people who need money for college. Some kids use it to buy college supplies too. But yeah... hope I helped. (:  

Answer 4

Apply to Jewish Family & Children's Services or to Catholic Charities for help. Ask for both counseling and financial/housing assistance.

http://www.jfcs-stl.org/m-contactus.php

http://local.botw.org/Missouri/Kansas_Ci...

http://www.catholiccharities-kcsj.org/

http://www.ccstl.org/

One possibility that Jewish Family & Children's offers (at least in NJ) is Senior Shared Housing. Some seniors have extra rooms or even an apartment where someone can live in exchange for being there for them at night, doing light housework, etc. Each situation is different, but you may find someone who has the space and would even watch your kids in exchange for you doing housework and cooking.

It doesn't even have to be this program. You could post a free ad on craigslist for such a situation. http://stlouis.craigslist.org/

Or try to find a job doing this. That would give you a place to live and some money, too.

Answer 5

Make patience your best friend right now.  You definitely need to get out of the sitauation, but it will take time.

Go to the state and get as much assistance as you can - health care, housing, food and $ assistance, financial aid for education, etc.  There are usually food banks that you can go to for food assistance if food stamps are not enough.

Once you know what the state offers, you have to make a plan of action.  Do you have any girlfriends, other family members you can trade babysitting with?  This could cut down the expenses of child care.

If you can get into some kind of low income housing (sometimes there are waiting lists, but it is worth it). that would be ideal.  With some financial and food assistance from the state you might be able to make it while attending some classes.

I have to tell you that getting an education is your best bet to providing for your children on your own.  I am a single mother and do not receive any kind of assistance from my ex - I do it all on my own.  Thank god I have a bachelors degree and am able to give them what they need, but it has not been an easy road.

I know I am writing a novel, but please be patient and PLAN.  Also see what you can do to get the state to go after the father for assistance.  It's not fair that you have the burden on your own.

Don't go to a homeless shelter - get educated on what is out there and make a plan.  Take advantage of anything that is offered that will help you reach the independence you want for you and your children.  Even if it takes you a year or two, you can do it.  Please be patient and everyday while you are working towards making your plan come to fruition, look at your kids and know that soon you will provide for them and give them everything you need on your own.