Uneasy child? dicipline help?

Question

my 11 year old these past years has been getting worse and worse. Yesterday he told me to shut up and make him his food!

I have never really diciplined him, not even groundings or time out. Plus I'm a single mom, he throws fits at home and orders me to do things like "make my bed!" I have always thought I would feel sorry for him afterwards if I did anything..

I don't know what I can do? he's too old for spanking right? he won't stay in bed if I told him he's grounded, he will throw big fits if I took stuff away, what can I do?

i really need help!

Answer 1

Sweetie... as much as I don't agree with physical punishments..

Your lack of spanking is what he is taking advantage of. Believe me 14 year olds get spanked, he is NOT too old for it, plus it will whip him into shape.

Are you his mother or is he your father???

I wouldn't be surpised if he cursed at you too.

Answer 2

No one is too old for a spanking!

Give him what he deserved..

Answer 3

You should have done something about 10 years ago!!!!

Answer 4

Sorry to say this but you are 9 years too late for starting a discipline regimen. First off YOU ARE THE PARENT...NOT HIM. You take all his stuff away if you have too and you should be strong enough to let him throw his fits. Please go to a parenting to class...because there is too much you have missed in the last 9 years that you are really going to need help.

Answer 5

Unless you get a handle on him someday you will be looking at him through the thick glass of a jailhouse visiting room, then you will be really feeling sorry for him!   If you can't handle him NOW what do you think he will be like when he is 15 or 17 and bigger and taller than you?  

So what if he throws a fit when you discipline him?  Tomorrow moriing when he wakes up you need to have taken all his privlidges away from him, TV, video games, everything and make him earn them back.   Post a list of house rules for him to follow, as in making his bed, cleaning his room, and until he follows them he does not get his privlidges back or an allowance.   And, stick to it!  

If he is so seriously out of control you just flat out can't handle him you may need to get outside involvement to help you.   mental health counseling, something through his school, Children's services.  

Please don't let this behavior go on for much longer.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to say this, but you sound like a total moron and a failure as a parent. TRUTH HURTS

Newsflash =

KIDS ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO ENJOY DISCIPLINE!!!

Children NEED to be taught right from wrong. They WILL throw a fit. SO WHAT??? IGNORE it when he throws a fit!

You are the PARENT, not the CHILD!

Good grief, and you wonder why your child is so screwed up?

It's because you are an idiot with no common sense who cant set boundaries or limits!

When he says "Make my bed!"  I would say "No, make your OWN bed". Take away the T.V. or video games if he doesn't listen to you!

Don't be such a push over. Don't let an 11 year old boy control you! It makes you seem ignorant!

My goodness, some people shouldn't even be parents if they cant even DISCIPLINE their children when they need it!

Parent's like you are what's wrong with the world today!

Congratulations, you've created a spoiled rotten brat who will probably be a high school drop-out and a convict someday!

Answer 7

Spank Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!He's disrepectful and he needs to be taught a lesson

Answer 8

Stop doing what he tells you for a start!!  YOU are the parent - not him!

Sit him down and tell him things are going to change, that you love him and from now on you'll be showing him that love by disciplining him when he steps out of line.

11 isn't too old for a good spanking!

Next time he tells you to do something tell him to do it himself - and if he doesn't like it TOUGH!!!!!!!

Take charge, stop being a doormat and step up and be a parent.

I'm sorry for being harsh, but you really need to understand that disciplining a child is part of loving a child, teaching them respect and also teaching them their place in your family.

If you don't stop his behaviour now he is going to grow up to treat his girlfriends/wife (wives actually coz no one will stay married to him long) exactly the way he's treating you.

I was a single parent for 7 years, so I know that you feel bad that he doesn't have a father around, but that's no reason to let him behave like a little monster.  You need to be the strong role model in his life.

Good luck, stick to your guns and discipline that boy!

Answer 9

I am really sorry to hear what you are going through.  I started going through something like you but my kids were distructive to our house when my husband moved out.  I had to get some control.  Now they know that they can be spanked, we have a wooden spoon and they get 4 chances to do what I ask of them then they are spanked, after that they start getting thier things taken away from them or even thrown in the trash.  You need to start explaining to him that there are rules and roles in a family.  It will make you both stronger when you get the control back and he understands that you love him but he is not old enough to make all of his own choices.

He needs you to guide him and tell him the harsh reality that his behavior can lead him, if he still continues take him on a tour of the county Jail, show him it is real.  

I hope that things get better for you and you son...You both need eachother.

Answer 10

let him throw a fit, point blank tell him, you are the boss, and until he get's a job and moves out, he has no rights or say so on anything unless you give it to him.