Unless agreed upon before hand, is it appropriate for a parent to expect re-payment of formal education?

Question

I don't think it is, even if the child got a great job afterward... It doesn't hurt for the parent to ask, but if I were the child, I'd be rather offended...

Answer 1

No. It's the parent's duty to fund their children's education. If they can't afford it, the children can't fault them either. Blame their fate.  

Answer 2

If they've offered to pay and not "loan" then, no, it does not need to be repaid.  

Answer 3

Usually, if something like this happens, the child has some evidence - casual, "joking" references to being paid back or being taken care of in old age, behavior with past monetary gifts, etc.

If the child didn't make good use of the education the parent was paying for:  always partying, scraping by with a D+, the parent might do that but it usually happens when the child starts to go down hill not after finishing his education and finding a job.  

However, people are weird and someone might just decide to do this out of the blue.  Maybe it is a parent who is falling on hard times, someone who is in fear of being laid off, or someone with a great deal of resentment of the child's ability to get the education the parent never got himself.  The child needs to react calmly and discuss feelings and needs with the parent.  There should always be open communication so someone doesn't assume something is going to happen when the other party has no clue.

As for being able to take education expenses off your income tax, you never get dollar for dollar deductions.  A parent puts out a lot of money at a time when he probably could use it himself and the child should consider that and be so grateful that he will comment on it forever.  "Without Mom, I never would have been able to attend Harvard, become a licensed tig welder, get my MBA."

Answer 4

Even if there isn't any agreement about this, parent will always expect their children to pay back for everything they have invested in him. They expect you to take care of them when you become a grown-up. That is why you should feel ofended if they olso asked you to give them all or some of the money they have given to you.

Answer 5

well when my parents paid for some of my college they claimed that money with their tax return and got reimbursed. So no I wouldn't pay them again

Answer 6

That is part of being a parent, we never had any money to put aside, and our girls have great jobs without that pieceof paper. Our son went to technical school we have part of the loan and he has the rest to pay.

It's a huge sum and its all in his name :-(

Answer 7

it seems that a something so major should be agreed upon before hand: loan or gift.

If the parents didn't make that clear in the beginning, it's not quite fair to make up rules after the fact

Answer 8

No the parent shouldn't expect repayment for formal education.  To me, if they can afford it, then it is their obligation as parents to pay for their children's education to help ensure they have a good future.  If they have struggled to help pay for the education I think at some point when the adult child is earning a good income as a result of the education then the adult child should willingly give back some if not all of the money the parents struggled to provide.

Answer 9

If I paid for my child's education (which we are planning to do and saving money for now), I wouldn't expect my child to pay me back.  However, I would expect my child later on in life to help me if I needed help.  I mean, if I put out many thousands of dollars for my child's education and they were doing well, and then I got old and needed a place to live or financial help, I would hope they would help me.