Unmotivated 16 year old?

Question

My daughter is failing classes at school. She has a "cushy" life, with parents (me) who try to help her.

Over the summer, she's been working long hours at a local Krispy Kreme donut shop so I know she's totally capable of real work. But at home and at school, she's completely lazy. She could absolutely care less about her grades. On top of it all, she was turned down for a school work program because she failed a class and her attendance was awful last year.

Can you suggest any help? I am so sad about this situation for her. I can't seem to get through to her how important these years are for her future.

I ask for your help. I am not only sad but angry at her. Any suggestions, I appreciate so much.

Answer 1

I really feel for you; I had the same situation, and in my case prayer was about the only answer. You don't say what she does in her free time. Does she hang out with potential druggies? Does she spend her time alone or at places & with people you don't know about?

  What I tried was to keep my daughter as busy with acceptable things as I could, but I was not successful. She almost did not get through high school. However, when she asked to take a GED instead of finish high school, I allowed her to try for it. When she realized that the burden of responsibility was on her alone, she decided to finish school. While it's disappointing to see our kids rejecting our values, giving them more responsibility for their decisions and allowing them to fail will help them depend less on us and go forward to adulthood. It's really hard for a mom, but my advice is to let her fail. Hold her to standards at home, but let her receive the consequences of her decisions not to study.    ...and...prayer works!

Answer 2

she has no motavation. She doesn't care for her future and doesn't know the consequesces.

You have to make sure she goes to school and when she gets home put her in her room and dont let her out untill it is all done or most likely when she grows up she will hate her life and regret not doing good in school and not having a high school diploma

Answer 3

I'm 15 and I don't have that problem, actually your daughter and I are the exact opposite, I do well in school and my parents couldn't care less, if I were her, what would work on me is if my parents always nagged me to do something, if they bothered me enough to do something, then I would just give in and do it, maybe you should try that

Answer 4

Well, I'll be a senior next year. I'm a merit roll student.

-I've never missed a day of high school in my life(I've only missed 7 in my life)

-I do just about every homework assignment.

- I do all of my reports/projects

- I try hard on every test(I'm not the best test taker)

Tell her to do these, and she will be fine.

Answer 5

School isn't for everyone however it is becoming increasingly important to childrens futures every day. She needs to understand that she has the power to CHOOSE her destiny and that is while she still can - working at krispy kreme or actually doing something and making something of herself.

There is not much you can possibly say to influence her, however she needs to come to the harsh realization before it is too late.

Answer 6

I know it might be hard but try not to show to her that u are mad if anything try to get closer to her like talk more n go out more too

try to find out if anything is bothering her

Answer 7

id say a drug test ;]

Answer 8

I think you should try and sit down with her and ask her why is she failing her classes at school. Try and have a calm and understanding demeanor about the situation as much as possible and just let her open up to you about it. I think if she feels that you are there to help her she may be trying to just kind of take things a little more loosely. Her education is very important, more important than her job, and you should stress this clearly to her as much as you possibly can. Also make sure that this job isn't competing with her studies, as well as any other things that may be competing for her attention.

I think it also wouldn't hurt to maybe go over some future plans or ideas that she may want to pursue in the future, it might help and she may feel as though she can have more of a goal to work towards in achieving.

I wish you the best of luck and I am sure that she is probably a very bright young lady and she shouldn't waste such a valuable gift as education is.  

Answer 9

[Answer: This seems to be a situation facing many teenagers nowadays.  I have noticed that the gap between students who actually want to pursue something at the post-secondary level and those who just want to finish high school and stop there is increasing.  There is a point where you as a parent can't do much more than tell your daughter that unless she tries a bit harder at school, she'll be working for much lower pay than a further educated person, making her life a bit harder.  If she wants to make less than $20 per hour in the future, it's her choice.  All you can do is tell her this.  It may one day click for her that she does need to try harder but until then, you may have to let her find her way through this part of her life.  It's about time that she chose her own future, especially as she approaches adulthood.  Nonetheless, perhaps if she found something she was interested in at school, her view of school may change for the better.  It only takes one course to turn things around.  Attendance in class is something you can't control either-- she may learn the easy way or the hard way.  Regardless, some form of punishment on your part may be necessary to improve attendance if you want to see something improve in that area, nothing harsh, but enough so that she'll realize there will be some form of consequence for skipping too much (schools just don't care about students that skip anymore...)]

Answer 10

hai  r u i am working in dubai