Unsafe s*x? What should I do?

Question

A woman I work with who is also a friend has recently started dating a man that I've know for many years. He was diagnosed with HIV a number of years ago and at last telling had progressed to actual AIDS. Neither of them are what I would call level headed to put it mildy and I am concerned. Should I say something or just stay out of it?

Answer 1

Well they should be using condoms. Even with condoms there is a small risk of infection (when it bursts, comes off, et cetera). Condoms should also be used in oral s*x. The viral load in saliva is very low, so kissing is safe.

If he is being treated for his infection, then his overall viral load could be very low. This would make transmission of the virus very difficult.

HIV is actually a rather hard disease to catch, it doesn't survive long outside the body.

They should be mature and talk about it. If you are worried, perhaps ask your friend how things are going. If he wants you to stay out, it's probably best to do so. They may not be level headed, but they are adults.

Answer 2

generally u should stay out of it, BUT personally i would tell her. That way she can atleast make him wear a condom, what if he was to embarassed to tell her and they had s*x, and she to got the disease, that wouldn't be fair on her part, you know, so as a friend i would definetly say something.

Answer 3

Normally I wouldn't meddle in others' business but under the circumstances I would take chance (girlfriends tend to get mad at you). He may not have told her.

Answer 4

I would say something, i would feel like it was my responsibility to the world.

Answer 5

Do you KNOW if they are sexually active yet?  

Are you close enough to her or him to find this out?

Do you know if he's told her yet?

Are you close friends with either of them?

I'd really need to know more details.  Personally I'd stay out of it unless they were really close to me.

Answer 6

if u didnt say something u would be doing the wrong thing. hiv/aids is never a should i or shouldnt i situation save ur friend from a possible life altering realization.  

Answer 7

For normal relationship problems i would advise people to stay out of it but for something like this - DEFINATELY say something, I would, without a second thought.

Answer 8

Adults  make their own choices in life, you you just have to stay out of everyone elses private lives hard as it is,  and just hope they use condoms. Concerned friends never get listened to in my experience people make their own mistakes, and then one day you can say 'well, I told you so....'take care.

Answer 9

I think if you care about those people, you should say something to the girl at least.  I mean AIDs is nothing to joke about.  I would risk upsetting someone to save them for getting it!  Good Luck! :)

Answer 10

STAY OUT OF IT!!! That is none of your business and you don't know if they've already had that discussion and are dealing with it, or haven't even begun having s*x... Seriously, don't put yourself out there like that.

Answer 11

I would like to know how you know so much about the man.  How/where/from whom did you learn all this?

There is something very strange about this.

Answer 12

I would ask her if she knows his health history...if she doesn't, simply tell her to ask him, it isn't your place to tell her what he has, but she has a right to know and he ought to be the one to tell her if he hasn't already done so.  If he has, and she is aware, then butt out.