Unschoolers, how do you deal with these issues? (Part 1- Primary Years)?

Question

I'm a big fan of homeschooling, but am not quite understanding unschooling. I realize that it means something different to everyone and I'm kind of getting the philosophy (I think) but I'm curious about how it works in practice... esp. the college part.

I've read accounts of unschooling families shunning the idea of keeping grades, records, tests, etc. If that's true, i'm lost on a few things:

Is it customary to start unschooling (or not start structured educational pursutes) early on or do you have some structured learning until they get a little older and can better express thier interests and curiosity?

If so, how do you get kids to learn things like handwriting and reading IF they don't happen to enjoy reading or writing?

How long before you "force" them to work on it, if ever?

If they never enjoy reading or learning, what then?

Is it considered just fine to have a grown up who reads no better than a traditional 4th grader? Would that be failure or just life?

Answer 1

my son learned to read at three without any formal schooling, and now at four reads at a late fourth early fifth grade level.

I learned to read at around 4 from my parents' repeated reading of doctor seuss.

Answer 2

I think it really all depends on the child.

Not all children are "cut out" to unschool, just like not all children are wired to classroom school or homeschool.  Some kids really need the structure of a more traditional program.  

In our case, my son (now 10, 5th/6th grade) really needed the structure early on - he's a major perfectionist, and didn't trust that he was learning what he was supposed to unless there was some sort of program behind it.  Now, he's becoming more confident in his skills and comprehension, and he's naturally becoming more of an unschooler.  I would place us more in the "eclectic" camp - we use a pretty wide mix of things - but he's definitely starting to lead his education more and more.

I still have a pretty big hand in finding him resources and making sure that he understands and applies what he's learning, but he's becoming more independent.

I have friends who have pretty much unschooled from birth, as that's how their kids learn; I have others whose children are scared stiff of learning without the structure of a program behind them, they feel like they don't have a compass (so to speak).

Unschooling does require a child who is motivated to learn; honestly, not all children are (at least in academic subjects).  Every child is motivated to learn in some area, but not every child *wants* to learn the 3 R's.  I think a parent needs to let a child lead their education to the extent that they are able, and step in where they are needed.  IMO, unschooling gets a lot easier to do after about 4th grade or so, when a child has the skills they need to learn on their own.  It can be effective for motivated children below that level, but may still require some level of parental guidance through subjects the child doesn't necessarily enjoy.  

JMHO!  :-)

Answer 3

True unschooling requires a complete mind shift in what learning is and looks like.

For unschooling to succeed, parents must trust in the innate curiosity of their children, to trust that learning happens all the time from every thing, and the trust that their children will learn what they need to know when they need to know it.  Children want to know how their world works.

We don't keep records or grades or portfolios, though some parents might if their state requires it.

My kids learned to write because they wanted to write notes to their grandparents, they wanted to send cards, etc, they wanted to write lists for the store.  Writing for a real purpose.  My kids learned to read because it was a tool that helped them do other things: read game directions, read TV schedules, read maps, and of course reading for pleasure.

I don't force them to learn, ever.

I don't know of any kid who is truly unschooled, who lives life without 'schooly things' forced on them, could hate learning.  Doesn't make sense.

Why do you assume that if one is unschooled they will never read better than a 4th grader?  My 13 yr old loves grammar and spelling and even in her online e-mails does not write in text speak, but in complete, grammatically correct, spelled correctly, sentences.  I have NEVER given her a grammar lesson; I've answered questions as she asked.  Most she picked up by reading (reading large fantasy books).

If a child chooses college, then they know there are hoops to jump through: prerequisites, SATs, and the like.  Many take junior college courses for those specific things, and take the SATs like everyone else.  You don't need grades or transcripts if you are homeschooled, but they do want to know what you've done.

Answer 4

We have done several different ages....we started unschooling three years ago (and some) and had a ten year old, all the way down to newborn (so she's always been unschooled) We do not keep grades or records or test. I don't need to because I know what they know.

to answer more specifically:

We unschool very early on. As my son as gotten older he has chosen more structured learning. By providing structured learning early on, one is undermining later unschooling by subconsciously telling the child that they cannot learn without structure. Plus it allows the brain to develop naturally without shame by learning as it matures, as it's ready.

Kids will naturally learn to write and read because it is MEANINGFUL. Even if they don't like it, at some point it becomes important. My oldest hated to write (he even has disabilities that make it difficult) School was horrible because it didn't take into account of that. So at home, he could type to share information. But he did learn at ten that handwriting is more convenient for certain things (quick stuff like grocery lists and phone numbers and cheat codes for computers) and he really perfected his writing after writing down the wrong code LOL! That's real life learning. However, i will point out that I know dozens of adults who cannot write a l**k, and others who may be able to read but never choose to because of the years of being told what to read at school. Yuck!

My now 8yo spent one year in school, and unschooling came naturally when she looked at me frustrated "You can't MAKE me learn to read!" Her brain just wasn't ready. But she learned before seven, because she wanted to read cookie recipes, and fun books that everyone else is reading and the ingredients on boxes.

This is long, but just one more thing. You never have to force unschoolers to work. When people do what they enjoy, and it's meaningful, they will choose to work on it. Ask yourself WHY someone would never want to learn to read. Ask why would they not want to write. People fight when its boring or when it's pointless or maybe just to have control of their lives. I don't know a single unschooling child who reaches 14 without doing phenomenal things...with the help and support of their parents. Life is life, and interests will lead to all these amazing connections that most people never see. But in our house watching a cartoon can lead to discussions (with my six year old even!) about politics and social science. Cooking a meal can lead to discussion about economics or chemistry. Taking a hike can lead to arguments about environmental issues or evolution.

Answer 5

We are not unschoolers but are very relaxed homeschoolers.

I think even young children express interests and curiosity.  Just think of all the questions a typical preschooler asks, or how they study and experiment in their environment and immerse themselves in their own little worlds.

We do formal work in math and phonics with my 7 year old, but we don't do it every day and sometimes we take weeks off at a time.  It is often during those breaks that much of his learning takes place.

Right now he is really into building with K'nex.  He studys the diagrams and builds models - this is teaching him to follow plans, follow directions, concentrate, see a project to the end and so on.

We are currently talking a great deal about elections.  He wants to know who the candidates are and where they stand on the issue.  He wants to know what the president does and how our government works.

We read aloud every day and we are reading a book called 5 True Dog Stories.  The dogs are from different countries so we look them up on the map.  I got a few books non-fiction books about dogs so we'll read and discuss those.

He started asking me about how different things were invented so I got him some books on inventors that he's reading through on his own.  One day we got a laminated map in the mail from American Airlines and the kids drew on it with dry erase markers and learned the locations of different countries.

I keep lots of books around for him to read, and sometimes he teaches me things I don't know.  :)  He has some science books that contain experiments so he'll ask if we can do those.  

I did initiate teaching him to read, but he's always loved being read to so I think he would have eventually asked me to teach him. My daughter wants me to teach her so I'm going to start working with her soon.

My son has been watching basketball with his dad, and one of his new favorite activities is to play basketball against himself pretending to be his favorite teams and write down the score.  This involves adding and counting by twos (or 3's).  The score today was 51 to 27.

He writes cards for his grandmother and asks me to help him spell words.  The other day he wanted to tell me about something he was reading and I asked if he wanted to write in his journal.  He said he writes to slow, so I asked if he wanted to practice handwriting so he could get faster and he said yes.  So even by using our handwriting program again we are following his interests.

I think children are more open to learning and following their interests when they have never had learning "forced" on them.  For that reason I think it is good to start early.

We work on character and self-discipline in other areas and I think it spills over into academics.  I would totally unschool if my husband was on board, but right now he's not going for it.

Here's some more info on unschooling and relaxed homeschooling:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

Try to get your hands on some books by John Holt.

Answer 6

I am not an unschooler but I know a little about unschooling.  Unschooling isn't not parenting.  It's child lead and most kids are naturally curious about things.  To learn new things a lot of times you have to read about them so they will naturally have to read about things that interest them. Whether that be Science, History or learning how to do a new concept in math.  In everyday life you will have to read and do math.  Even with some unschooling there may even be workbooks involved but it will be the child's choice to do them.

Unschooling is a life style and people learn about life living thier lives.  With unschooling you will not have to force your children to learn because they will be learinging everyday.  Did you force your children to learn how to talk or walk?  They learn by seeing and being interested in doing things. Also with a lot of collages they save spots for homeschoolers and usually they just have to pass the tests that others have to pass as well and some homeschoolers/unschoolers may go to trade schools to learn more.  I hope that helps.

Answer 7

I started unschooling when my children were born.  Back then it was called attachment parenting.  There was no real transition to "schooling".  

It can be intimidating when your children are young, to believe that they will learn what they need to know, especially in our society that plays down the abilities of kids.  I can tell you from experience that it works.  

The most important thing is to be a good role model.  If kids see you read, then they also want to learn to read.  They see it as viable and important.  

Unschoolers never force their children to work on anything.  

It takes a lot of faith in your children.  Considering them to be people with their own ideas and opinions, and valuing them as highly as your own.  Humans are born with an inate desire to learn, there is no chance they won't learn something.

I understand 4th grade reading level is considered the norm for literate people.  Can't see that it would be a failure.