Unwanted wedding guests... :-(?

Question

My fiance's best friend likes to have get togethers at his house. When he has these "parties" we hang out with this same group of people every time. They know about my wedding because they ask general questions about it that I can tell they do not want the answer to (because they usually start talking to someone else while I am answering). They assume (there is about 4-5 of them) that they are all going to be invited to the wedding which is in less than 3 months, but to be honest, I don't really like them at all. They don't invite us to anything unless they feel like they have to, and in return neither do we. I don't know what to do though, because I am sure we are going to continue to have parties at his best friends house after the wedding (including our annual Halloween party which will be a week before). What should I do? Do I invite them to avoid future uncomfortable situations or do I say "s***w it." They are pretty rude and not our friends. Help! Neither of us know what to do.

Answer 1

You don't want them there so don't invite them.

More guest means more money out of your pocket.

More food.. etc.

I would say no, and if they say anything about it just be like i'm sorry, its my wedding, i didn't want you there.

You never invite us to anything.. what makes us have to.

...You feel me?

Answer 2

If you don't want them don't invite them.

You will have to face them afterwards!

Just tell them there was limited space!

Answer 3

well congrats first of all!second if you don't like them, don't invite them.this is you and your fiance's special day!do what YOU want not what they want!who cares if they want to be invited, life is tough.if they complain just tell them to take it like a man!you have to make some rough choices in your life, but I bet if you want your wedding to be perfect and what you've always dreamed of, then it'll be worth it!

hope that helped!

help me out too!return the favor please and answer my question!

here's the link.....

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

my question is open to anybody who feels they can help!

-Stephanie

Answer 4

I'm sure these people are aware that you and them are not close friends, and may not even be expecting invitations anyway.  It sounds more like you are acquaintances who have to deal with each other from time to time because you have a friend in common.  If you do not want to invite them, don't.  You are under no obligation to, and you shouldn't feel bad if that is the choice you make.

Answer 5

Each guest will cost you money, so of course if you don't want them there, just explain that because of budget reasons, you had to cut the guest list to a bare minimum and you are sorry. This will work especially well if someone other than yourselves are paying for the wedding/reception!

Answer 6

Just don't send them an invitation. If they ask about it (and since they sound tacky, they probably will), just say "We decided to have a pretty small wedding, mostly family." This is what you say, regardless of whether it is true, because saying "We just don't like you that much" is rude and hurtful. So, after you say that you're having a small intimate wedding, just change the subject to something non-wedding-related: sports, movies, the weather, etc. Problem solved.

Answer 7

Never invite someone to your special day that you do not like or who doesn't respect you.  And if they are rude enough to ask you about not getting an invite, simply tell them that you had to limit the amount of invites due to a lack of room.  It was for mostly family and the closest of friends. Then apologize and state that if you had known that they wanted to attend you may have been to shuffle things to include them.

Answer 8

This is YOUR wedding, honey :] The best day of your life. If you feel they are rude, obnoxious, and just don't like them at all don't invite them! Trust me, you won't feel guilt at all.

Answer 9

This is easier than you think... just don't invite them! You are not friends of these people, just knowing them through your fiance's friend doesn't make them best friends and doesn't entitle them to anything!

And if they ask, you can either be upfront with them and tell them that you think they are complete tools (lol) or use a more idiot-sensitive answer like blaming it on your budget... like saying, "I'm sorry, but we only have room for x amount of guests, and can't afford to have any spares, sorry." and that's that. And if they really get upset over not being invited.... is that really a bad thing if they are *ssholes anyway??

It's your day, if you don't want them there, don't invite them! Simple! :)

Answer 10

Its your wedding and it should be perfect! if you dont want them there then dont invite them! they sound like *** holes anyway!

Answer 11

I wouldn't invite them. Pay for their dinner and stuff and they probably won't even bring a gift? No way.

Why are you going to these "parties" when these people are not your friends?

My advice would be once you are married, find some friends to hang out with and invite your fiance's best friend along to meet new people, and host parties at your home and invite the people you really like (including your fiance's best friend). Drop these losers and stop hanging with them.

You don't have to go to these lame things with people you can't stand. And if anyone complains, just say, "We are married now and are hosting our own parties" or whatever, though I doubt anyone would complain. And you certainly don't owe anyone an explanation. (However, it was convenient for my husband and I to blame each other when we got together to get out of some things we weren't interested in.)

Answer 12

If your wedding is going to be a huge affair, then a few more guests shouldn't matter. After all, I'm sure there are others on the list that are only being invited because you feel obligated. If the wedding is smaller, you can always tell them that you only had family and very close friends. They should understand that, and it might even let them off the hook for attending only to be polite.

Answer 13

Ok honey first off this is your wedding not theirs, you are going to have the perfect wedding and you are going to marry the man of your dreams right? Then don't let anything ruin it, when you send out the wedding invitations just don't send one to them. If this causes problems later then they really weren't worth it in the first place. If neither of you want to invite them then don't. If they show up I'm sure your father or some of the other men at the wedding will escort them out. They shouldn't even think about coming unless invited because doing this causes problems with not only you but your bridesmaids and your groomsmen for the simple reason they know you are uncomfortable so that makes them feel the same way.

If they insist on it tell them that they just don't have any more room, or if you feel bad about lying to them you could tell them that they are only have very very close friends and family there. Or tell them that its a "everyone knows everyone thing"

I know that doing this isn't what you want to hear but if they are going to be persistent and try to ruin it one of these things will help you out. Just make sure that you tell them it is a different date then what you originally thought and that will help too. This way if they try to show up it's on a different day. Make sure it is after the wedding though.

Good luck and I hope you both have a perfect day that you'll remember for the good things and not who ruined it.

Answer 14

I was trying to have a smaller wedding and not invite every single person I know.  When people would ask me about my wedding that weren't invited I'd usually lead off with, "well, we're trying to keep it pretty small and invite only our closest friends."  

I ended up inviting a couple to our wedding that I'm not close to but I know they'd have their feelings hurt and I see them often at parties that mutual friends of ours host.  If you think these people wouldn't care about being invited, just don't invite them.

If they have the guts to ask, just use the "closest friends and family" line.  They'll probably be relieved they don't have to send a gift.

Good luck!  For me the most stressful part of planning my wedding was trying to make sure other people were happy.

Answer 15

This is YOUR WEDDING ! You invite who you want to  

Answer 16

If you don't want them there, then don't invite them. From what it sounds like even if you did invite them some of them would choose not to attend because they don't consider you to be very good friends anyway. I know it's hard, but try not to over think it too much.