Update* on my bridesmaidzilla?

Question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=20080716061351AARTghm

So they went ahead and purchased the dress I begged them not to. I tried to explain how it would hurt me and how I felt like theyre are trying to make my wedding day about my sister.

Well, my mom said no, Jackie (sis) just needs to stand out against the other bridesmaids since she's the maid of honor.

So I told them Jon David Salon would be doing our hair and I'd appreciate it if since she already has a "unique" dress if she could style her hair like the others so it can have somewhat of a uniformed look- I asked out of worry that she'll ask to replicate a style similar to mine. She gave the same response as above adding "What if that style doesnt look good on her?" I only asked for an updo. Nothing elaborate that would look weird or anything.

So fiance wants Jackie out of the wedding since she's off doing her own thing. My second option is to alter the other girls' dresses to match my sister except thier will -cont

Answer 1

I would ask her to enjoy the wedding from the audience like everyone else if she can't play fair. This is YOUR wedding and she is being incredibly selfish. Sometimes you have to put your foot down, especially if you already told her you would feel bad if she bought it. She is only thinking of herself, and how to out-do you. Kick her and her pink ballgown OUT!

Answer 2

I would sit down with my mother and sister and reiterate that this is your big day and that you would like your wishes respected.  Ask your sister how she would feel if the roles were reversed.  But remember, when it comes down to it, it is your day, and no one will be looking at your sister -- everyone will be looking at you. (This situation is very common -- sibling rivalries often emerge at times like this, and bridesmadis often try to upstage the bride).  You might try Bridal Coaching or a counselor to get you over the hump.

Answer 3

Tell her off! ARGH! I'm mad just reading this. Tell her, you are sick of her c**p and she is out unless she does what she is suppose to do. She is suppose to be helping you, not making things harder. Don't worry about hurting anyones feelings. 1) it's your day and everyone should be doing what you ask 2) she had ZERO concern about hurting your feelings when you told her that you didn't want her to get a different dress then all the other girls.

Tell her to get bent!

Answer 4

I read your other post and listen this is your wedding! and your moms and sis are trying to take it over and play you.if she wants a different dress and diffrent hair style tell her she can pay for it herself! as long as it's your wedding and it's coming out of your pocket they will wear and do thing the way you want them done i agree wit your fiance tell them they either do what you want on your wedding or they can be out of it. i promise you they will do what you want because they want to be in it they may act like they dont and wont show up but they do. I do agree wit moms about the brides maid dress it should stand out but dont let her try to out shine you which is what she's trying to do.  forget that bridal coaching S**t it's time to stand up for yourself girl. next they gonna be tryin to change seating and food and you.

Answer 5

This is why bridal couples should pay for their own weddings. He who pays gets to call the shots.

Sorry for being so blunt, but it’s obvious that your parents love your sister more than they do you – that they can’t go along with your wishes on your wedding day.

And I’d put it to them that way.

Since you can’t change them – all you can do is hang on and ride the pony ‘till she drops.

It’s just one day honey. And even then, the wedding album will eventually find its way to the back of the closet – and then to a forgotten trunk in the attic.

Of course, you could go one step farther – and elope. Just cancel all the plans and you and fiancé run off to Vegas and get married by a preacher who looks like Elvis or the Keith Richards.

Answer 6

Your sister is going to look like a total fool for trying to look like you. She sounds like a spoiled brat.

Have her hair done FIRST and do not tell her what you are doing. I would get the bridesmaids dresses to match hers and dont tell her that either. h**l, I would get a new wedding dress !!!! i am sure you already paid for it but i am just being mean, my sister was not like that.

Sorry. I would also tell her after the wedding how much she hurt you for being so spoiled and that she can expect the same thing from you when she gets married.

Answer 7

Arguing with her is way more trouble than its worth. From what you've said, there's no reasoning with her, so why put yourself through it? Remember that you are the bride, the attention will be on you, and it doesn't matter if your sister wears a ball gown and a similar hair style. Even if your mom and sister are attention hogs, all of your guests will be completely entranced with you.

A sneaky solution to the hair problem would be to have hers done first. Then, when you have yours done, she won't be able to copy it.

But really, for your peace of mind, just let her do what she wants so that you can enjoy your wedding day without getting bogged down in family drama. Let it go and look forward to your new life with your husband. And be the bigger person - tell her how pretty she looks on the big day.

Answer 8

Wow, that's terrible.

IT'S YOUR WEDDING. It's your big day. Brides are allowed to go crazy on this day, please take full advantage of this. It may be hard but you have to do everything you can to make this a truly wonderful day.

You can't let your sister be the star of your day, and you wouldn't want to remember your wedding day as being about your sister.

Tell her that she needs to join the others and get in the bridesmaid apparel and hair. It's your day, not hers. If it was her wedding you'd do the same for her.

Answer 9

You should never have given in on the dress in the first place. Now that she has it she's going to wear it. A ball gown dress while everyone else is wearing tea length is going to look terrible. Why is your mom so supportive of her and letting her act like a spoiled brat? Don't make the the other girls go out of the way for her and you shouldn't either. She doesn't need to stand out from everyone else and that should have been made clear the day she asked for the other dress.

Answer 10

Thats crazy. I read your last post and hoped that they wouldnt do it.

Well obviously they dont care about your feelings. If it were me, I'd tell that sister of yours to not worry about being in the wedding. She can come, only as a guest though.

And for your mother. I would tell her to stay as far away from me on the MY WEDDING DAY!!

This is your day. Forget about hurting anyones feelings. As long as your not too too bad, all will be forgiven ;-)

Answer 11

The wedding is about you, who cares what your sister is wearing.

Honestly, your jealosy is getting out of control. Obvioulsy you have some severe self-steem issues. If you do not want ANYONE to look good, then get married alone... you do not need your hot sister to get married.

Good luck

Answer 12

Um  I vote cancel & elope!!!

Answer 13

I am so annoyed by this. If she was my sister, I probably would have strangled her by now!! It is your wedding, your big day, not hers. She needs to be worried about making you happy not the other way around. I mean what does she think this is? And how come your mom is so supportive of her inconsiderate behavior? Considering that this is, hopefully, a one in a life time experience, they need to respect your wishes. I was my sisters maid of honor and my dress looked just like all the other bridesmaids dresses. We did what we wanted with our hair because my sister didn't think that part was a big deal. If your sister wears a dress different from the other bridesmaids, she not even going to look like shes part of the wedding party!! I don't know...good luck. I hope it works out for you!!

Answer 14

Your sister is SO jealous that you are getting married and she is trying to make it a beauty competition between the both of you.  I think you should tell her that she either wears the dress you originally chose or she is out of the wedding...period.  She is going to look like the bride in a ball gown...or like she is celebrating her hispanic quince party.

Answer 15

Oh no thats terrible. What would I do? Probably cry, and tell the sister that shes acting like an attention-hungry little brat. I mean whoever heard of the Maid of Honor needing to stand out? The fact that she is walking down the aisle and standing next to you is not standing out enough?

I would also go in and talk to the hair stylist and their manager, tell them to not put her up no matter what she says and you will tip them generously in return.

I guess its all about damage control at this point. So sorry. But she is the one who will look like a fool, not you.

But you could just kick her out of the wedding, and see how she reacts to that. She might pout for awhile, then come to her senses.

Answer 16

tell her its your wedding and she can wear the pink dress at hers, sorry I agree with your fiance

Answer 17

Okay...can pink flowers be added to the bride's maids' bouquets to add some co-hesion?

...and yes, I would do something with the other girl's dresses so they match the pink cinderella dress.

As far as your hair...have your sister's done before yours....that way you have control over your style.....

....and I would tell Mom & sis point blank that when sis marries, since SHE got full control over what she wore irrespective of the bride's wishes....if you are MOH you better d**n well get the same courtesy...whether the Pink Princess likes your dress selection or not.......

...and don't worry, Hon...there's no way The Pink Princess will outshine you...infact she's gonna come across looking d**n dumb.....and she deserves it.

(Honestly, if monies weren't already spent this would be a case where if it was me, I wouldda put my foot down and said....okay, Jackie gets her pink ball gown.....good luck finding a wedding to wear it in, cause I'm eloping! Then I would have thanked my girls, cancelled their dress orders right there, and walked out of the salon.....then Iwould have told my fiance that we were eloping......and if the reception hall already had a desposit on it, I would have turned that into one big party celebrating my elopement.....giving me FULL control of the situation.....and The Pink Princess could flounce around there in her ballgown to her heart's content...good luck.

Answer 18

That sounds like exactly what I'm going through with my sister and my mom. I'm going to wear a very modest wedding gown with sleeves so I didn't want my bridesmaids in spaghetti straps or strapless because I thought that would look weird. I picked out a very simple red dress that was knee length, modest but still pretty and cute and didn't show a lot of skin but was sleeveless. My sister wants to wear a strapless dress because she wants to show off how thin she is (she loves to brag about how flat chested she is while I have a larger chest) and my mom is going along with it because she says my sister has a better body for this look. I didn't know my wedding was about my sister showing off her body! So, I'm in the same situtation too and I don't know what do either, other than just saying no.

Answer 19

oh man!!!!

i tend to take the bridesmaids side cuz i see some brides get a little out of hand and bridezilla ish... but it seems like the worst bridesmaids are sisters!  i think jealousy must be a big factor in that.... but you shouldn't have to go through that.  you sound like you are being a good bride in letting the girls have a hand in dress picking and such and she is just going crazy over there.  of course seh shouldn't pick a dress like yours!!!!!  

it sounds like they use the "we'll quit" line on you and you give in because you want them in it... and they know that.  i think you need to turn it back on them and tell them "i'm firing you" so they take you seriously!  she got her dress she wanted... she could work with you on the hair... tell her she's not in it then and let her know exactly how you've been feeling on the situation.  she'll either shape up and be sorry.  or she'll be out of the wedding in which case you'll have less aggravation.

Answer 20

Oh my god, you just gave me a recall of my wedding two weeks ago!  LOL!  My mom and sis did the same thing.  We went and got our nails painted and she had to have fake (I didn't even do that)  Then when everyone got there hair done she just had to bring along little flowers and stuff to be put in hers! We were supposed to be at the church at 1:30 for pics and the wedding started at 3 and my sis and mom showed up at 2:40 and my sister wasn't even dressed!   At the reception she bought a little white dress to change into!  And to top of the way she acted My brother was the best man and he thru a fit a said he wanted to wear a blue tie (my wedding was black, white and silver) when I said no he bought it anyway to change into at the reception, well he ended up dropping out 1 WEEK before the wedding (bc he found a new job and he couldn't have off.)  If I said any of this to my mom she would get mad at me and say that I was acting like a bridezilla!  Which I never did I am a very calm person!  I am sure there is much more stuff I could mention but let me add this, the morning of my wedding I was so stressed but as soon I was walked down the alter all the little worries went away.  I had just told myself that whatever happens oh-well atleast I'll be married!   And looking back at two weeks ago, you know what I actually remember it as a good time I don't care about all the above stuff and I'm very happy with it all.

  Don't worry to much about your sis if anything she'll just make herself look dumb, Just worry about you and your hubby and take time to enjoy your big day it goes by far to fast!   Good luck and congrats!  E-mail me if you want to talk or need to vent!

Answer 21

I would have never given in to letting her get her own style of dress in the first place. Maybe you have a bratty sister, but talking to you mother and telling her how important it is to have everyone look the same should have worked to get your sister on your side. If not, I would have said, okay, see ya later, you're not in the bridal party. Why? Because it's your wedding and your choice, not hers.

Regardless, you already let her get the different dress. Stand firm on the hair and explain that you didn't even want her to have a different dress but you agreed, so it's really important to you about the same hair. If she disagrees, I'd say forget it. I know she's your sister so you want her in the wedding, but it's just not worth all the stress and drama if she's going to act like that!