Urgent Relationship advice needed ?

Question

me and my bf have been together for 2months but i have kinda known him a very long time, at first everything was grate, but now iv got this problem were he has rather a high s*x drive and i don't so i never really want to do anything sometimes i just want to be left but then he gets in a strop about it which really dose p**s me off when he dose, but the main problem in our relationship is that neither one of us has ever had s*x so for me its all new and yea i am rather scared of doing anything like "s*x" but he is not he really wants to do it were as I'm still a bit scared to do it and since we have been together we have made attempts to do it but i just end up getting so nervous that in the end we don't do it but then he ends up getting frustrated which i can understand but it don't help me, my bf also says that I'm body contuse because i don't like stripping down naked in front of him or anyone for that matter, now what i'm wanting to know is that were i am 19 is it normal for me to feel like this at 19 also any suggestions or advise that could help would be very much appreciated as i do love him very much and i know he loves me very much but we are just kinda stuck in this rut. (sorry its so long)

Answer 1

you need to explain to him that because this is new to you, you're a bit paranoid of your body and him seeing it, and that right now you're not as highly sexed as him, so could you come to an agreement - for example, have s*x 4 times a week oppossed to him wanting it 7 days or something like that... its all about talking it out and reaching a comprimise!!

xx

Answer 2

Just explain that you're not comfortable/ready and since you've known each other for so long you expect him to understand. It doesn't matter what age you are you have a right to do things in your own time IF you want to do them.

If he cant wait, he obviously doesn't respect you enough to accept your feelings on the matter and you can do better.

I think it's brilliant that you've waited don't let an over-eager teenager ruin it for you like so many (including myself) have.

Answer 3

If you're a virgin then it's perfectly normal to feel a touch of trepidation. Everyone feels it their first time. To me it sounds as though you're not ready, in which case you should wait until you are. You need to tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel, and if he loves you like you say he does he should understand.

For more comprehensive advice, and also for some help regarding your first time I'd reccomend you ring 0800 28 29 30.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

You sound totally normal (unless i'm not normal!)  What you are talking about Is very common i believe. But I would ask yourself 1) Is he the one for you (could be you know deep down he is not and thats why you are not pushing yourself to go further) 2) What are you scared of? (s*x is horrible for everyone at first until you start understanding your body and what works for you) I wouldn't worry too much about this if he is the one he will be patient (but 2 months) is not long enough to really know someone. Maybe make more of an effort in this area.

Answer 5

You have to try and have more confidence to follow your own feelings.  Its normal to be nervous about stripping off and about having s*x when its all new to you.  He needs to realise that if he flips out and starts getting pissed off with you in that situation, you will just get more nervous and the whole situation will get worse!

Cant you persuade him to take a step backwards, just spend time together relaxing and not worrying about stripping off and getting down to it?  When you feel comfortable and safe enough with him, it will just happen if the time is right.  You shouldnt ever feel pushed into s*x if you dont feel comfortable with it; so go with the flow and if he cant stay calm and help you to feel more at ease, you really need to consider that he may not be the right bf for you - there are plenty of good guys out there, so never put up with anything less than one!