Urgent! Should I move? Serious Life Decision.

Question

I am 16 years old and my parents are divorced. Last year i decided to move away from my dad in Michigan and move out of state with my mom in California. I had terrible self-esteem, was developing a serious eating disorder, losing friends, and was not happy. I blamed my school, friends, and family in Michigan. I also thought that if i was prettier, skinnier, and lived in a "better" place I would be happier. I moved away from everything i knew-i gre up in Michigan-and all of my best friends were there.

Well, I moved and the past year of my life has been a rollercoaster.

A lot went well here, I am number 10 in my class and am involved with my school. I have made friends and have expereiced A LOT. Onyl untill a couple months ago though, did i realize this.

During most of last year i was depressed and had an eating disorder-even in California. Things weren't working out to how I thought they would. I kept thinking I needed to change my self and people would like me more. I ended up losing a ton of weight and was put on anti-depressants.

Ever since I have been on the anti-depressants it feels as if I have awoken from a coma. I accepted myself and began to really California, but there was a little part of me missing. I thought this would be cured by the anti-depressants in time.

I visited Michigan this summer(which I did when i could, because It still was my second home)

I have never been so happy there. I felt like I was a complete hwhole, and I didn't know why i had left. My self-esteem was retored from the anti-depressants, and I was a different person. Everyone noticed. I felt alive and i was happy to be with my friends and family I had left. I was seriously, a different person. I talked to and expereiced people and things I have never experienced when I lived there. I discovered a new life that I had never seen.

Then i moved back to California last week, because I have been in denial of moving back to Michigan. I didn't want to abandon what I had struggled for a year and made a hige decision for. My family here doesnt want me t oo move and everyone says if I move back to Michigan Id be yo-yoing back and forth. I would be abadnoning my new "accomplishments" and i would probably be disspaointed if I start going back to michigan and I'd want to live in Florida.

But heres the thing: I feel like I shouldn't have left! There are great points and memories in California that I seriosuly enjoyed...but for some reason the feeling in my heart during those memories isn't the same as I feel in michigan when im not even doing anything real exciting.

Should I stay because I romanticized MI and have been here for a year,

or should I follow my heart and go back to MI and blame my depression for the past.

Answer 1

STAY in CALI! First, I am so proud of you. Congrats on having the courage to get the help you needed and to take your meds. It sounds like you are on the right track. Monitor your health and your meds, and if they are working, then great. Depression is a real mental illness, so don't ignore it.

I think you have romanticized MI because you grew up there and on this last trip you were a mini-celebrity. You have made such positive changes so everyone was 'in love' with you! You have never had that positive treatment there, but don't get it twisted - you made those changes in California, not MI. You should at least stay in Cali a few years or finish out highschool there. I believe there are a lot of wonderful experiences to be had there and that you should give it a real chance.

Stay in Cali. You can always visit back home in MI. If you still want to return, then go back for college! Stick with the positive changes there in Cali. Go see a therapist and talk to someone. Keep making progress, don't go back home just because you think you're 'cured' and you think its the perfect place. Remember, home is anywhere YOU are. A place cannot make you happy, only YOU can. So don't believe that MI = happiness. It doesn't. Its your state of mind and the positive changes that matter. A place is just a place. YOU are the key!  

Answer 2

Please google a short piece called Desiderata and read it. It has all the answers for both now & forever in it.

Best wishes. uk

Answer 3

It sounds like you've matured and would do well no matter where you lived. Sometimes in life it's hard to make decisions when you have two good choices. However, if your visit to Michigan was short you may have had a bit of an exciting time because people made you the center of attention, because they were happy to see you again. Day to day life in Michigan, would probably not be quite as exciting as it was for your short return.

  I'd stick with California and start making plans about where you want to go to college.  

Answer 4

Whatever makes you happy, because its not going to matter whose judging who in the future by saying you are "yo-yoing" I personally think you should move back to MI.. But make sure you give it aot of thought whatever you decide on chosing... good luck!!!