Urgh just had an argument about xmas with my husband!?

Question

I guess i'm not looking for an answer just venting but your opinion would be appreciated..............

I've sort of invited my family (mom and bro) over for christmas but in additional my eldest daughters BF is going to come around as his fam are in Antigua.......my bro's daughter, her baby and her 'estranged' partner may come around, but my husband has a real issue with this (not daughters BF but niece,baby and x partner) Which is already causing problems which is stupid........views appreciated :)

Answer 1

Guess he's mad you invited them without consulting him. Tell him though that this is your family and you just cant abandon them.  

Answer 2

He is right, you are in the wrong.  You need to UN-invite them.

Answer 3

it is his home, too, and the holidays should NOT be a super-stressful time ...  talk to your husband about his expectations and desires ...  find a common-ground you can both be happy with ...

maybe help some falmily stay in a hotel and do activities with them which do not involve you husband ...

I personally resented my ex for inviting people without asking how i felt about it ...  especially considering his expectation was for me to be cleaning up for them and cooking for them and doing extra sheets and making more trips to the store alone, etc ...  it was always more work for me and they were rude and ungrateful and caused drama ...  

my point is that you have a HOME and it is TOGETHER ...  you both need to feel happy and safe there ... all guest, all vacations, all time/days - off need to be acceptable to both parties ...  full agreement is not always achievable ...  you should at least find the middle ground that you both can deal with ...  holidays cannot be a 1-party decision ...

Answer 4

unless she really did something to get off on him. i dont see why he doesnt want her to come????

Answer 5

keep Christ in Christmas.

Answer 6

Xmas has traditionally always been a time you have to put up with your familly and cook to much, all that goodwill stuff is a cover. Honestly. But, in this case, could you compromise, have them over for Xmas for them, but put one special day aside just for immediate familly (and immediate family's bf) and not and neices/brothers etc, because it can be really stressful with familly around all the time. And then do something special you all enjoy on that day, so you get some time over the holiday to relax. Unless you're *very* religious, xmas day is just a day (and if you are *very* religious, techincally it's the wrong day, a couple of months to late). So you can move it, for yourselves. There's nothing magic about the 25th.

Answer 7

Christmas is a time to share your home with family and friends

if your husband has a problem with that then tell him to go else way for Christmas. My parents have anyway from twenty-five to at times forty people in their home at Christmas and it's not that big of a home but we always seem to manage. Well best of luck

Answer 8

dont worry. he loves you anyway, and if ur happy then he will be happy too. just say you want to spend xmas with the family, and its only once in a year so stop moaning! and tell him to invite his family as well so it will be like a whole big family reunion woohooo

Answer 9

what's his issue?   Are you close to your brother's daughter?  Has she come to your house before for holidays?  If so.... no reason not to invite her now...  You can't pick your relatives, when he married you, YOUR relatives became HIS as well (and vice versa).... It's only for one day----it's not like the husband couldn't be a BIG MAN and just let your niece and her baby and "partner" come to dinner... it's not like it's going to spoil anyone's Christmas ... he's got plenty of time to get used to the idea and accept it... LET HIM....   I'm SURE there are probably family members of HIS that you would not want to be around as well..... but you probably have to be anyway...

Answer 10

Why doesn't your mother have Christmas at her house and then your husband can stay home while the rest of you go over to her house.

Answer 11

tell him to suck it up. let him know it is childish to act this way towards family.

Answer 12

It's normal to have issues with your spouse's family, but you have to tolerate them as well.  I think you should have discussed it with your husband prior to inviting them, but since it sounds like you didn't, it might be good to mention that you're sorry for making plans without consulting him first, but it is impolite to your family to "un-invite" them.  Next time you will plan things differently, but this time it would be nice if he (your husband) can be understanding.  It is xmas after all, and a good time to put prior issues behind you.  (x partner or not, your niece can decide for herself who she wants to spend the holiday with, and that is solely her choice)