VERY IMPORTANT IF U KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SIGNS OF ABUSE IN A CHILD!!

Question

My 4 year old son had a strange day. His father and i are not together and he has a girlfriend and austin had some stress problems in the past, but i picked him up today at 7 and i saw his face and knew something was very wrong. He ran in the house grabbed his shoes and was in my arms in 15 seconds crying. i asked his father what had happened, and he said he did not know he had been like that all day, when he came home from work austin would not eat nor talk, and his girlfriend claims austin was upset his trainset fell apart this morning. which i dont believe. so i took him home and he kept crying and said he didnt know what was wrong, he still has not ate, and when i asked him later this evening what had happened he said he cant tell. so i asked who said you cant tell, and austin replied nia (the gf) told him he cant tell it was a secrete. and she never called his father and told him he was acting like this all day. and i still cant get him to sleep he said he was scared but does not say y and about 15 min ago he woke up crying and yelling for me, and i had to calm him down and reassure him he was safe. is this behavior normal for a 4 year old or should i be concerned (which i already am) that something bad happened. the only person he was with was the gf. i am nervous at the signs i should look for in the next few days and what to do if something happened bc there is a court issue im place on the days where he goes with each of us. anyone ever see this behavior or how to talk to him, anything i am upset and so very worried about my little boy

Answer 1

obviously you're mother's intuition is kicking in and somethings not right.  An adult should not be telling a child he can't tell and that it's a secret- it sounds really suspect.  Here are a couple of websites that have information to talk with councilors- as this seems to be an issue that should be moved up to a professional level.  

http://childmolestationprevention.org/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/get_help



As a mother, all you want to do is protect your baby- I feel you.  This must be so scary for you.  Be strong and take the appropriate action- do not let this just fade away and do not leave your son alone with that woman until you get to the bottom of what's going on.

good luck and god bless.

Answer 2

GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING! HE'S YOUR SON. YOUR EVERYTHING. BRING UP THE PROBLEM. THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO IS IGNORE THE PROBLEM. EVEN IF IT'S NOTHING BRING IT UP. IT WILL BRING YOU PEACE OF MIND.  

Answer 3

That really sounds like something is very wrong.  I would call the authorities and report it.  I would NOT let him go back over to that house either.  Protect him by any means possible.  Maybe even have him talk to a counselor or therapist to see if he would open up about what happened, and then have Nia charged and jailed.  It does sound like he was probably abused, perhaps sexually, since she's a woman, and told him to "keep it a secret."

Answer 4

Whenever an adult tells a child to keep something a secret and they seem upset about it chances are the secret isn't to good (like molestation, abuse, rape.....) so I would explain to him that you understand she said it should be a secret but if she did something to hurt him you need to know about it and that she won't know he even told.  Reassure him that he can trust you and that you only want to protect him.  

Answer 5

   Please...Please trust your motherly instinct. Take him to his doctor and let them check him out.

Answer 6

have a very long talk with him and try to make him talk about what happen between them. have a long talk with your ex. tell him whats going on. if that doesnt work call a social worker. explain whats going and ask what should you do.

good luck and stay strong!  

Answer 7

i know for a fact they act that way when they has been exposed to anger! they cry all the time and wake up terrified and dont want to talk. ask him if they were angry! id do something to. a child just doesnt get trumatised over a toy breaking!!!

Answer 8

It is possible she may have hit him for some reason and told him she would hurt him again if he said anything. Possibly his train set did break and he got upset, and she didn't know how to handle it without lashing out You could tell him that the gf said it was okay to tell you and that she wasn't mad at him anymore. That may work. If he doesn't want to tell you, ask him to show you with some of his toys. Assure him doing this is still keeping his secret as he is not directly telling you. Sorry to hear that. I am having my first child soon, I don't know what I would do if someone was ever abusive to my child.

Answer 9

He wouldn't be upset over a train for the entire day. Whatever happened was huge to him, not a simple toy breaking. I would call the police immediately and see if there are any tips they can give you on child molest cases and how to tell. With a little boy and a woman, it would be harder to tell, but they may be able to find saliva or something. Gives me the jeepers just thinking about some hag woman touching a little child. I would tell him that there are no secrets that you should hide from mom and dad. If something did happen, I hope this woman gets her just desserts.

Answer 10

ok heres what u do.u say "i dont care if its a secret .u tell me what happened right now"if he doesnt respond u keep DEMANDING that he tells.and if he does  tell u email me of what happenned " [e-mail] " i want to know what he said