VERY naughty 1 year old! Need help?

Question

I swear my daughter is going through her "terrible twos" stage VERY early. She is 13 months old, and she is a nightmare. When she was a baby she was an angel, she never cried, always SO happy, she was always perfect. But within the last 2 - 3 months she has just gradually become very naughty. Its gotten to the point now where I am forever stressed out because I don't know what to do. I go crook on her, and she doesn't care, I give her smacks on the hand, but she thinks its funny! I know I'm probably not smacking her hard enough, but she is only 13 months old, I don't want to be smacking her too hard to make her cry... I feel she is too young to understand that. She is ALWAYS throwing tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants, for example if she wants to go in a certain place of the house, like the kitchen, that is fenced off, and will stand at the fence, screaming so badly that it will hurt your ears, and she hits the wall, throws her hands in the air and plops on the ground and will hit the ground, she will hit me! And pick up her toys and peg them at me, and throw them everywhere. She knows what NO means, but she will do it anyway. For example she will always turn the Tv off, so I tell her no. Then she will walk back to it, with her finger out ready to push the button again, and she will look at me while she does it with this "What are you going to do, you cant stop me" Kind of look. Then she'll turn it off, and she will give me like this death stare :| I'm dead serious!! I just don't know what to do.. I'm hoping she will grow out of it, but in the mean time, how do I get on top of this? How do I let her know that I'm the boss and that when I say no, it means NO! If anyone has experienced a naughty child like this, please give me some tips!! I don't know where my little angel has gone!

Answer 1

Try time outs. No tv, toys, no looking around. Just basically sitting in a chair and staring at the wall. Do this EVERY time she misbehaves.

If she throws a toy, take it away and put it in a box up high so she can't reach it.

If she will not stay in the corner, invest in a play pen where she is confined to a spot and cannot get out.

It's going to be a trying time. Just be patient and stick to your guns. If you don't correct it now, it will only get worse.

Answer 2

Don't worry dear, she is just a kid... All of them go through that phase, when they start discovering the world around them. All they want at that age is to check everything and see what happens if they touch/kick/l**k/through it. Plus... they want always our attention. If what she does is not dangerous for herself, let her do it... she will get bored of it a lot quicker than she will stop if she sees that what she does causes your reaction. Additionally, you can try to ignore her when she screams when she has to do as you say... I know it's hard, but you can hope... time passes quickly and she'll be out of it before you know it! Good luck!  

Answer 3

Hi...I would say ABSOLUTELY take away ANY toy that she throws at you and do put it where she can't reach it...but put it where she CAN see it.  Out of sight out of mind...but if she can see it then it's a constant reminder that she shouldn't throw things.

My daughter Megan did the TV thing...right down to the staring at me, finger pointed, as she got closer to the button.  She has a diaper on, right?  I swatted Megan's bottom for direct defiance like that.  It doesn't hurt, too much padding.  And then I'd put her directly in timeout for (18 months?) 1 1/2 minutes.  IF she got up and wouldn't stay, I picked her up and put her back until she stayed for the full 1 1/2 minutes.  That took about one week and she stopped acting that way.  It was an EXHAUSTING week (for me and probably for her too!) but it was effective.  I've applied it to other things as well...it just works.  She's almost 5 now and all I have to do is say "1"...and she stops whatever she's doing because she's learned that getting to 3 means punishment...time out, something taken away, swat on bottom as a last resort, etc.

Also, in our house, "whining is an automatic no."  If you ask Megan to fill in the blank..."Megan, whining is an automatic...."  She'll yell out, "NO!"  That took about a week to break her of whining, too.  Sometimes she'd ask for something that I was about to say yes too but I paused too long so she whined with the assumption that a no was coming...I'd look right at her and say, "I was going to say yes...but whining is an automatic no, sorry, hon."  I wasn't snotty about it...just VERY consistent.  Worked/Works like a charm!

Good luck to you!! :)

Answer 4

this sounds exactly like my daughter...even down to the tv thing! but all my daughter does is whine.  every second of the day snhe is whining.  I cant take it anymore..i am to the point where i just want to leave and never come back!

Answer 5

She's not naughty, she's a baby.  She's too young to express herself effectively with words, and so she throws tantrums.  She's also too young to remember the rules, so saying no all the time and punishing her (especially with smacks) just won't work.  When she does something you don't want her to do, redirect her to something else.  For example, say she starts playing with an electric cord.  Lead her away, and possibly say gently, "We don't play with cords."  Then, turn her toward something that she can have - blocks, a puzzle, or a book.  

*ETA* Young toddlers can really test your patience, so I feel for you.  But keep redirecting her, remain consistent, and don't let her see you get cross.  As odd as it sounds, little ones sometimes try to make you angry because they want to see the reaction.

Answer 6

I would say to just redirect her attention on to something else that she can do...its just a game to her...when you see she is about to do something that you don't like ....snatch her up and never give a thought or look her way about what she was gonna do and move on to something else....hand her something or take her outside for a few minutes or let her help fold clothes...I know she is tooo small to really help but she does not know that...praise her on her good job!  don't acknowledge what you don't like...and she will soon forget it...redirect her in a different direction and make it look like her idea...babies are so much fun!  enjoy her she will be grown and gone soon enough...happiness to you and your baby girl..

Answer 7

haha she owns you!

She is testing you take her outside and play

Answer 8

There is an Excellent book called  Don't make me count to three it is a bible based book on disciplining children and it taught me so much.  I also don't spank  my daughters hand anymore,she started hitting me back, I spank her leg and now she never slaps back.  

Answer 9

It's fun being a parent isn't it!!  They only thing that got me through stuff like this was repeating over and over that one day they'll be grown up - it almost kept me sane.  Thankfully, my kids ARE almost grown up now and those days of toddler chasing and repeating the same things over and over and over again till I was blue in the face are long gone.  I feel for you.  Just take one day at a time.  Maybe you should get her outside to play - she sounds like she might be a little bit bored.

Answer 10

you have to win...you will have to battle until you do have the victory. the tantrum is to get what she wants and if you break and give it to her then she has surely won and as young as she is , she knows this. when you do not want her do do something then you are going to have to stand firm and say no and mean no.if she has a tantrum and you are not comfortable to tap her hand or anything then do not let the tantrum produce what she wants..if you dont stand firm then she is going to continue , espicially if she knows that eventually you are going to give in...

good luck, you can do it.

Answer 11

Hi! I don't agree with the smacking of the hands, even if it is light. It doesn't sound like it's working. I would get down on her level when she is naughty, talk to her in a calm voice. Also I would avoid using words like no, don't, can't. Instead tell her what she should be doing, and help her to do it. When she screams her head off when if you do this, maybe hold her close to you, so she understands she is not going to run away and get away with misbehaving. This is just what I would do, and good luck!!!!!

Answer 12

I work in a kindergarten and I don't think that your daughter has a big problem. She needs socializing and set routines. She should go out once a day. I used to take my kids out at that age and met other mothers of small children. They shared the same problems with me. It helped to lighten the pressure.

She needs limits and you have to stick to those limits. Just sit down and talk to her on her eye level. Make it clear that you are angry and don't spank her. It never helps. And she is too young to understand all this.

It sounds like you are young and alone which can aggravate the problem. It is better to take advice from a pedagogue or child specialist.

Answer 13

Children are never too young to learn. Be patient as a mom. She is not doing those things to make you angry. You can choose how to react to her antics. Don't do anything that will damage her self-esteem and your sanity :)

If she throws a tantrum, embrace her and gently whisper "Shhhhhh"  in her ear. It worked with my daughter. I hope it will work with yours. BE more tolerant also. If what she does won't harm her, let her do it. No blood, no foul! :)

Answer 14

YOU NEED SUPERNANNY!!

what I learned on Supernanny was that if your child is misbehaving and she keeps doing stuff that you tell her not to, everytime she does something or cries or yells you need to take her to a corner and give her a timeout. Tell her why she is there then leave her for maybe 5-10 minutes. If she gets up then set her back down again. Use the same spot each time so she knows that that is the bad spot and that she goes there if she does something bad. After her timeout is over, remind her of why she was there and ask for a hug and a kiss. Hope I helped, I'm just giving Supernanny's advice. =)