Vaginal dryness during intercourse?

Question

I have been experiencing vaginal dryness during s*x for the last two years. The first year my boyfriend and I were together, this was never a problem and I have been sexually active since I was 19 (am now 30) with never experiencing this before. I don't like lubricants because they are so sticky and uncomfortable, not to mention it is a shame for me to have to rely on them. This has caused so much stress on my relationship and it is a wonder we are still together because he doesn't enjoy being intimate with anymore. We only have s*x about once a month or so and the experience is always painful - not physically but emotionally. This in turn causes even more stress because I fear he will leave me and then no man would ever want to be with me. This must be what impotent men feel like. Everytime I go to the gyno, they tell me everything is fine with no infections, STD's or abnormalities. I feel that no one is listening to me. I don't want to use lubricants which half the time don't work -- I want a solution. Of course, this may be stress related but I hardly believe that to be the complete cause. I have kidney and bladder issues as well. Am also on BC pills (ortho-trycyclen generic). Could there be a connection? Any input from serious responders is appreciated.

Answer 1

you may want to head over to the drugstore, and experiment with different lubricants, some are sticky and some are not, see which works best for you, then buy a truckload of it if they ever run out.  

Answer 2

Vaginal dryness could easily be a sign of stress, especially if you stress about being wet enough for him monthly.

The problem is HIS! He is supposed to love you enough to kiss, touch etc to prepare you for a very intimate time together, he is supposed to prepare you, it's called foreplay. Kissing, lots and lots of kissing.

Honestly, it  sounds like you are with the wrong guy, s*x only once a month??? Sounds like he is getting it somewhere else. Don't worry, I'm sure you are a beautiful s**y woman that is totally under appreciated. lose this jerk, you are OK, he is your problem. Stay beautiful and s**y as I'm sure you are.

Answer 3

Firstly, stop worrying. Your boyfriend won't leave you because of this, and if he does, you're better off without him.

I know you said you don't like using lubricants, but they will be good to use FOR NOW, until you find the cause. I recommend astroglide or K-Y Jelly, they are good water-based lubricants which are very effective.

Does your boyfriend do enough foreplay?

As a test, when you both next have s*x, make sure you get enough foreplay - when you are really eroused you create more lubrication.

Only other thing I can suggest is seeing someone experienced in this kind of thing who can give advice.

It could well be caused by the medication you are taking, or your kidney/badder issues, so ask your doctor about that.

See sources below for a google link with some websites containing information.

Answer 4

First of all, relax, stress does a lot of damage to the body, and throwing your hormones for a loop is one of them. Secondly, K_Y jelly is not messy, not sticky, and is water based, so it absorbs into the body easily. If you ask, your Dr can prescribe a hormone cream that you can rub on and will provide loads of relief. Who said that a man will leave a woman if she has to use help with lubricating? Look, 1 thing I know, that is a lie. I had to have a hysterectomy due to cancer, in 1980, and here I am 28 years later, still standing, and still very active. Thank God for KY jelly, and they now have the one made for couples, one for him, one for her, you don't know what you are missing. What do you mean, it would be a shame if you had to rely on lubrication? Honey, the way I look at it, it is a shame to know what will help, and to not use it. Sweetie, go by some of the couples KY, and relieve your stress the way God intended for us to burn off stress. .. in the bedroom, or whatever room you like using. Hope that this helps, By the way, you might want to get a second opinion from another doctor, I would go see a female doctor.)

Answer 5

Yes, it is very possible the birth control you are taking is causing your problem.  How long have you been on them?  If it's been for a few years that might be your answer.  When you take birth control it suppresses ovarian function and messes up the natural estrogen in your body which can affect your lubrication and vaginal tissue.  This can cause vaginal dryness, irritation of the vaginal tissue, less lubrication during s*x and can make having s*x painful.  The estrogen in birth control does not work as well as natural estrogen from what I understand and the pill form of estrogen can't always replace your bodys natural estrogen.

Do you rush into s*x?  You should give yourself enough time for foreplay and whatever makes you feel good.  It's not helping that there is a strain on the relationship.  The fact that you feel terrible about the whole thing and you are hurting big time emotionally will negatively affect arousal and ultimately your lubrication.  

A decent man that loves and respects you will not leave you because of this honey.  This isn't your fault and you can't hate yourself because of it.  You should talk to your partner about how you feel.  The fact that you are so distressed about everything with s*x and he has lost interest indicates to me he needs to be more sensitive to your problem.  The emotional damage this whole thing is doing to you is not helping your s*x life.  He should recognize this isn't your fault and want to help you!  

I would stop having s*x until a doctor can help you figure this out.  The emotional damage being done to you while having s*x is not worth it.  No wonder you can't be sexually aroused and find it painful feeling as horrible as you do because of all this.

Since lubricants don't work well for you and your doctor isn't listening to what you are saying it's time to get a second opinion.  I think you might want to consider having your hormone levels checked to see what is going on.  You may also want to consider switching or going off of birth control if this recently happened after being on birth control.  I mean, if you have had this problem for two years and have been on birth control for the same amount of time then it kinda makes sense what the problem might be.  

Don't lose hope, hon.  You just have to find a doctor that will listen to you and help you figure out what is going on.  Your partner should be more supportive of you right now too.  You have done nothing wrong.  You sound like a wonderful person and I hope everything works out for you!

***BTW I have found, in my experience, a lot of gynecologists these days are dismissive and don't listen to you.  They might even say nothing is wrong and it's all in your head.  Don't listen to these doctors!  I have a vaginal pain disorder, vulvodynia, and one of my gynecologists told me I was imagining it and it didn't exist.  There were days I could barely get out of bed so sure, it didn't exist!  This gyno clearly saw me in agony yet dismissed me.  

I finally found a doctor with experience with this disorder and she began to help me with treating the pain and the actual condition.  She never once told me it was all in my head nor did she act like it wasn't real.  I know how you feel with s*x being a problem and how damaging it can be to your emotional well being.  I've been there, just a different situation, so I understand. Just go find a doctor that will listen to you, work with you, and understand how you feel.