Vegetarians: What do you do when you are invited to dinner at someone's house?

Question

I've been a vegetarian for years, but I always feel like I'm being rude when I eat over at a friend's house and I can't eat the meat that they are fixing. At barbeque's I bring my own veggie burgers, but for a sit down dinner, I feel weird bringing my own food and not eating what the hostess made. I doesn't help that my boyfriend's mom ALWAYS forgets that I'm a vegetarian.

Answer 1

I tell people and usually they are pretty accomodating to it. If your b/f mom always forgets then take your own food. Don't feel bad, its just your decision. Don't let people think you are the fool for it

Answer 2

Just make something that everyone might like to try.  

Answer 3

I just go to the house without brining anything. If they serve me meat, I just tell them I can't eait it, and I just eat whatever else they are serving that doesn't have meat. It's not rude, it's what you gotta do. I think it's ruder to bring your own food to a sit-down dinner.

Answer 4

just eat salad

Answer 5

Next time you get invited say "Wow! I'd love to come for dinner.  Since you know I'm a vegie, I don't want you to stress. Let me know what you're making, and I'll make a veggie dish that complements it.  Don't worry, I always make enough to share!".  That way, it seems like you're volunteering to help the host/hostess with a side dish.  No insults made, no insults taken!

Answer 6

When you are invited to someone's house inform them that you are a vegetarian.  The day before you go or sometime that day remind them again.

It's not rude, you can say it in a manner that it's just informative.

Something like

"I would love to come, thanks for inviting but just to let you know I'm a vegetarian."

If it's a BBQ you can offer to bring your own veggie burger. Just tell them I would love to come to your BBQ but I'm a vegetarian so if you don't mind I'll bring my own veggie burgers.  They may offer to pick some up for you.

Answer 7

I let them know my diet and just ask them to make a little extra of the side dishes they'd already be making anyways.

Answer 8

i am the same way!!!!!!! i just eat the other food if there is any and try anything new as long as it doesnt have meat! and i am really sad cuz like i know only 1 other vegetarian cuz they r sooo spread out i wish we all lived in the same state it would be the state with the most populated vegetarians!:) Taybay!

Answer 9

All of my friends already know I'm a vegetarian. They always serve veggie meals when I eat over. I always mention it when i accept the invitation though, just incase they have forgotten

Answer 10

i just sit there with an empty plate in front of me. with all the conversation going on it usually doesnt make much of a difference. i'm comfortable sitting there without any food in front of me even though sometimes the ppl i'm eating with get upset. :: shrugs :: there issue, not mine.  

Answer 11

If they don't know already, I tell them I'm vegan. I'm happy to tell them what sort of things I eat, and offer suggestions, but these days I find most people don't need that. Letting them know gives them the opportunity to withdraw the invitation if they feel they can't cope, or for us to agree to eat out instead.

Maybe it's because I'm older than the average user of this board, but I really feel my days of taking food with me - other than extras or gifts like chocolates or wine - are long gone. If I get invited to dinner I expect to be fed, not to carry a little bag of food with me. I'm polite and I'm never critical of whatever vegan fare  I'm given - and a vegan gets given an awful lot of baked potatoes, bland pasta and roast vegetables - but I'm effusive with my praise when, as frequently happens, the host has been imaginative and made an effort.

In your case, just keep reminding your boyfriend's mum that you're vegetarian, and don't feel awkward bringing your own food. I'd be mortified at my own bad manners if someone felt they had to bring their own food to my home, and I certainly wouldn't forget again.

Answer 12

I always take my own food, even for holidays, sit-downs dinners, bbqs, etc.  I usually make more than just for me so that other people can try it too.  

If you feel too uncomfortable, you can play your luck with the side dishes, whatever they might be.  I'm sure it'll be fine.  You and the hostess have different values when it comes to food.  She should be able to understand that.  

Answer 13

Unless they have told me they are cooking something I can eat I bring my own food, a dish that can be shared. They all know I'm a vegetarian, so they don't get offended when I don't take meat.

BTW: always tell them that your bringing a vegetarian dish to share.

Answer 14

I feel horrible when im at someones house and they offer me meat and im like I don' t eat that lol

Answer 15

Whenever you go to stay, always tell your host in advance that you are a vegetarian, but stress that you will be quite happy with a simple alternative to meat (such as cheese).

It would then be very rude of a host not to cater for your preferences.

I don't think you should ever take your own food, as that is insulting to your host.

Answer 16

Don't worry hon, you are neither the first nor the last person to have this problem!  Whether it's due to a food allergy, a personal preference or a lifestyle choice, there will always be people who think that you can't possibly NOT want to eat whatever lovely dish it is that they have made!  And it's always awkward to have to say, "Umm no, I'm sorry, but I really just can't eat that!"  Those of us with health problems have to do it too!  

There are lots of good suggestions here.  Bringing a side dish to share is one and if you really feel like you can't bring your own food, well then fill up before going to dinner and bring a purse full of little snacks you can sneak eat later, after dinner is over.  Perhaps if you have to sit at the table eating nothing often enough, your BF's mom will start to get the hint and realize how rude SHE's being when she constantly forgets your dietary needs!

Answer 17

dont worry about it

just politely keep reminding her that you are a veg

anybody should understand

Answer 18

i bring my own food.... sometimes i just bring my own little veggie burger and then have whatever sides people are having and sometimes i make a whole dish that can be shared (depending on the situation)... there's nothing wrong with this... the idea is supposed to be getting together to spend time together, it shouldn't matter if someone wants to put something different in their mouth than what the other people are... your still there and spending time with them.  so go ahead and bring your own food.  if it's someone who doesn't know i'm veg i just ask before hand what they will have because i'm a vegetarian just so i know whats available and let them know i'll bring something for myself so they don't feel any pressure to change or add to their menu just for me.  

Answer 19

I once ate meat being already vegetarian when on a birthday party,serving meat to go along with the public.I was sick with stomach aching for half a day afterwards.Since then I never please public by breaking my principles.Don't feel weird.Vegetarianism as a feeding principle,superior in most respects to meateating is fully proved by contemporary science,check for proof on the web.If there is weirdness,You can explain Your position by such too clear arguements openly to people,and also support Yourself from it by such obvious benefits enumeration.No reason though to waste Your own stomach by throwing there garbage even to please the people You want pleased by Your behavior.Plus do not bring there Your own food to eat,it adds to weirdness in double so.Eat vegetarian parts of the common food,served at the party,like salad or cooked veges(only)given along with meaty stuff.Bf's mom is less important here

Answer 20

Hi there ;} I feel this way sometimes! I'm veggie too! But listen if you don't eat something don't feel rude. before hand just tell them your situation. I'm sure they'll understand and if not why not take some salads? And crisps and have a bit of drink. I'm sure they compramise. Good luck! I Love Being Veggie Its Worth It!

Answer 21

Call up ahead of time and say that you would like to bring a vegetarian dish that everyone can share, and mention some of your ideas, ask her to pick one. Or see if she has anotehr suggestion. You will be politely reminding her that you a vegetarian. Also you will be so kind in offering to make a little less work for her. If she "forgets" after that she's being malicious and you can feel free to just bring your own food from that point on. If she so politely declines (this is a rediculous battle between the host/guest) just bring it anyway. People always bring gifts when a card says "No gifts." and some people love to play games like that where they say no, meaning yes. It's stupid... ANYWAY... come up with a few side dishes that you think other guests might enjoy (the options are endless) without looking like you're trying to convert them and bring one. You never know, it might even impress your boyfriends Mom!

I'm also going to argue that if people know you are a vegetarian and invite you over and don't serve something vegetarian they are either being rude or they EXPECT you to bring your own food but don't want to actually ask you to do it. Bring your own meal and do it without shame. Often people with allergies have to do this too. So do people whose diet is restricted by religion, there is no shame in living true to your beliefs!

Answer 22

Whoever invite me knows that I am a vegetarian and he manage accordingly. Being a vegetarian other respect our feeling. Its nice.

http://indian-veg-food.blogspot.com

Answer 23

Talk to the person that have invited you, and let him/her know that you are a vegetarian.