Very Very naughty 7 year old... HELP!!?

Question

My 7 year old neice lives with me and she is SO naughty at school. It keeps getting worse. She wont do her work, wont follow directions, now she is name calling and hitting other kids. She lies to me constantly, so its hard to believe her most of the time. Her teacher calls me constantly telling me she wont behave. We have all tried talking to her and she just doesnt get it. Its like you cant even have a conversation with her. You ask her, Why did you hit him at school? and her reply is "im not supposed to hit". but she wont answer the question. She promises she wont do it anymore and the very next day. its the same thing. She's gonna get kicked out of school if she doesnt stop. She is distracting the entire class and her teacher is fed up with her. I dont know what to do with her. Her parents arent an option here, so dont say send her back to her parents. They dont give a c**p about her or her well being. oh yeah, the question.... Any ideas what I can do with her?

Answer 1

It sounds like she needs therapy.  This will help her understand and learn to control her emotions.  The changes must be very hard on her.  She can also be screened for ADHD.  I know this has been over diagnosed but there are kids (& adults) that do suffer from it.  Until then you could try positive discipline. Keep the punishments for the very severe discipline and find as many positive things, no matter how little they are, to praise her on.  Help her to see she is a good person and deserved to be loved.

Answer 2

First of all, good for you for taking in your niece!

It sounds as, from what you describe, she might have more serious behavioral issues here. Just to be on the safe side, have her evaluated by a specialist. You just never know and it is only for the best interest of a child ! Sometimes, us parents, just don't have all the answers ! Good luck !

Answer 3

It's possible that she misses her parents even though she is happy with you.

Answer 4

Try eliminating processed foods from her diet and feed her whole foods only.  Some children react very negatively to the chemicals and additives in processed foods.

Answer 5

This evolves from the problem that she had with her parents for whatever reason why she is not living with them, and taking everything out with school. I would say counseling because she knows what she is doing, and knows it's wrong.

Answer 6

Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe this is a medical condition and not necessarily a behavior problem.  Sounds like maybe an ADHD issue.  I would schedule an appointment with a psychiologist to have her evaluated and if necessary a family doctot for medication.  I think you will be amazed at the difference it will make.  Why do I know?  I have an ADHD daughter.  She is a much happier little girl since we discovered this and got her help.

Answer 7

First of all this situation is so beyond taking away toys. This child is suffering from the effects of abuse. This little girl is testing you because she needs to know if she can trust adults again...ie YOU!  DO not let her down. Ask her what is bothering her. You will be surprised what kids will tell you when you just ask them a straightforward question. Give her a pillow to hit and tell her it's ok. This child has allot of pent up anger that needs to be released.

Please consider calling your local children's hospital and find a qualified therapist. And I would also change her diet...it is true some food will make children more agressive.

    Good Luck!

Answer 8

Wow that is a hard one. I would say just keep trying on talking to her. Maybe there is something bothering her and this is her way of showing it. And is a fraid to tell you what is going on. She may be happy with you but maybe she really wishes her parents could take care of her. I dont know though. Just a thought.

Answer 9

Have u started taking away toys? My son is 7 as well n he decided that he was going 2 act up at school,but NEVER at home. So me n my husband started taking away toys. 1st we took away toys he played w once n a while n of course it did nothing. So we took away his toys he played w everyday. 1 by 1 his toys were n r room until he really understood that he had 2 deserve his toys n act right 2 get them back 1by 1 I must stress that. So far it has helped his attitude has completely changed. I sure do hope that helps u even if it does just a lil cuz I know it can really stress u out when u kid acts bad.just remember its not ur fault it could just be a faze where she is trying 2 c how far she can go b4 she gets n big trouble.

Answer 10

maybe seeing your parents is the problem. every weekend she is reminded that they don't want her. Try to distance her from that pain.

Answer 11

I would take her to a school counselor to see if she has a learning disability or social disorder. Intellectually it seems like she knows what she is doing is wrong but she just can't help herself.

I am sure you have tried the reward system, a sticker or piece of candy at the end of the day if she does her work or doesn't hit anyone, if not try it but she really needs an evaluation ASAP!

Answer 12

Call the show called "SUPERNANNNY"

Answer 13

Good for you as you are being her parents!. Obviously she has problems and lack of respect. If you and the teachers can not persuade her to be kind and fair, I would look into behavioral therapists etc.

Answer 14

Maybe she should be homeschooled so she is not a danger or a distraction to other kids.

Answer 15

I don't know what the situation is with this child's parents but it sounds like they are the problem. If she was taken away from her parents, why do they get every weekend visitation?  Sounds to me like she is rebelling against her situation.  I also agree that it could be a medical condition.  We have a child in our community that had sort of a similar situation with behavioral issues.  And as much as I am opposed to medicating children, sometimes it works for the best.  This child already has enough issues to deal with.  Have her evaluated and take one issue away from her.  The main thing is just love her despite her behavior. Hug her and give her lots of (positive) attention.  Maybe that is what she needs... constant reminding that you do care for her even though her parents clearly don't.    Don't give up on her.  She needs you in her life.  Good luck honey.

Answer 16

Maybe if her parents are as messed up as you say, she shouldn't see them.  And if she knows they don't give a c**p about her, this is probably why she is acting up.  She needs to see someone along with you so you can get to the bottom of her actions and feelings.  She needs love and attention, too.

Answer 17

Counseling. Quickly.

Answer 18

First of all, find a form of reinforcement (both posative and negative) that works for this child.  For example... If you go a week without getting into trouble, I'll buy you(fill in reward); but if you cause trouble, you can't watch TV tonight...

Next, if she has had any problems with her past, such as her parents... get her some counceling... and a psychiatric evaluation - she sounds ADHD and/or BiPolar...

Could be a secondary display of her pain...

Best of luck, contact me if yopu want a list of tips for Abused or neglected children

Answer 19

I'm not a big fan of therapy, but maybe her situation has her totally stressed out and it would be a good idea?