Very heavy wedding gown; I'll need my bridesmaids' help. How to ask this?

Question

My gown weighs 11 lbs. I'll be in it for at least 4 to 6 hours. What I'll really need is actual handmaidens, one to carry a fan(Vegas heat), and one to fetch water. A lot. They'll also have to help me with the embarrassing Wrangling of the Gown. The two I have are kind of flaky, and a bit sensitive since both of their relationships(we were ALL supposed to get married this year, but I'm the only one so far) are a bit rocky right now.

How do I ask them to do these things without sounding like a Bridezilla?

Answer 1

I can't believe all of the negative responses you are getting.  I was surprised by all of the things my family and wedding party did for me on the day of the wedding.  I wouldn't sweat over it!  Everyone will most likely jump in and help.  Good luck honey and your gown is absolutely gorgeous!

The only thing I wanted to add is you may want to see if you can do a test run of your dress at the venue.  It may be dificult getting in and out of the gondula.

Answer 2

Sorry, I don't have a creative answer and you've probably already considered these options.

Do you have  a friend with a younger sister that could be in charge of water & fans?  If not, I think you may have to sit down with them (over iced tea or something friendly and casual - not a "meeting of the bridesmaids" and explain to them like you did to us that you don't want to sound bridezilla-y but with the weight of the dress you're going to need a little extra help.  In a way it is part of their "job" as bridesmaids to help you on your wedding day.  

If you're using a wedding planner or coordinator they may know of someone you could hire for the day to be your "personal attendant". Or perhaps your FMIL knows someone in the CW reenactment group (my husband does cowboy action shooting so I know a little bit about costuming)

Although you can't rely on relatives, can you rely on one family member for each part of the day?  That way no one is too tied up.  

Eleven pounds - you poor child.  I hope you don't have a bad back!!!

Congrats and good luck.  Even though the dress looks heavy I would not have thought of it weighing that much either.  

It will work itself out, so congratulations, good luck, and enjoy your day.

Answer 3

You are a bridezilla. YOu picked the 11 pound dress, now you deal with it.  

Answer 4

Why not ask a few other reliable friends? They don't have to be bridesmaids, but they can be your "personal attendants."

Or, maybe you can have the girls come over to look at your dress. Tell them it's really heavy, so you will need someone to help you throughout the night. You can also have your husband help with the dress and getting you water, etc.

Another thing to consider is getting a separate dress for the reception. Maybe something light and airy for after you have taken the formal pictures. Maybe something like this:

http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collect...

http://www.houseofbrides.com/product.php...

Answer 5

first of all 11 pounds isn't that heavy. Secondly get your seamstress to sew some wrist loops on it so you can "wrangle" it yourself.

Or have it bustled... that is where they sew buttons on the back with little loops and the whole train gets pulled up

Answer 6

First of all, I'd like to say you're the one who chose to get married in an 11 lb gown in Vegas.

Second of all, bring a water bottle of ice water so they won't have to refill it that much.  Keep it by your seat under you so you won't have a wonky water bottle in sight at the reception.

Third of all, ask relatives rather than friends to do the gown wrangling. That's an imposition for family only.

ETA: 1) you could have a seamstress sew a water bottle pocket somewhere on that gown and no one would notice.

2) that dress was from Elmhurst, NY. That should have been your first clue that it might not work for a wedding in Vegas.

3) Yes, you live in Vegas. You didn't realize it got hot there? It matters not that the weight of the dress was not listed -- that was a big a** dress for a Vegas wedding no matter what. Sweat o rama. You didn't want to be comfortable on your wedding day?

4) Promise them, whether or not they ask you to be a bridesmaid at their weddings, that you will help with their weddings in any way you can and you will make this up to them one day, because I get now that you are in kind of a pickle and stuck with the wrong dress for your wedding.

Answer 7

If your brides maids are doing a lot of running for you it is going to be hard to keep on schedule and you don't want your bridesmaids all sweaty for the pictures.   I would talk to the venues were your going to be at and ask them to make sure the air conditioning is on high because of your dress.  I would also see if they would have a staff member that could get you water or if they could have bottled water and ice set up close to were you will be. I would also see if they have anyone that could help with your dress.   I would also have water on ice in the car you will be riding in and also make sure the ac is on high.    If you are not able to do this then I would ask someone else that you are close to but who isn't going to be in a lot of the pictures if they could help you out.  I am sure they will with no problems.  You could also get a hand held fan to blow on yourself between pictures and hand it to someone while the picture is getting taken.    I hope these suggestions help.  

Answer 8

Wear the gown for the wedding and before going to the recpetion (but after all the pictures are taken) Change into something that is lighter in weight. There is no law that says you have to stay in the gown for everything.  

Answer 9

I think that if you ask them nicely and just say "Hey thanks for all your help with the wedding would it be possible for you guys to help with one more thing..." and then tell them what you will need help with.

Also so that your friends or bridesmaids are not feeling like they are the only ones helping you out you could ask your husband to be help you out as well.  I am sure that he will be more than willing to help out.  Also you could ask your mother or other family to help.  And during pictures to help with your dress the photographer could help you out.

I am just curious as to what the dress looks like and what you will be needing help with?  Is it positioning the dress or train or what?  I am just curious.

And I don't think that you sound like a bridezilla like the other person said.  I think that it is great that you want to be thoughtful of your bride maids.

Good luck...and most of all just enjoy your wedding!

Answer 10

They are there for you, to help you with what ever you ask .nicely,politely, and most of all not to demand help, and don't shove it in their face,Just ask them that is really all you can do, and a nice gift of thanks would be very appreciated I'm sure, But also explain to them that this well be a lot of work.           EDIT: That is a beautiful  dress. My daughters dress weighed 18 lbs.  But she was married in December in Michigan.