Very tough situation - Need Advice?

Question

ok, I have a friend who lived in Texas and was married to this man for several years. They had 2 boys who are 8 & 13. For whatever reason they got divorced and she moved to South Carolina due to a job transfer. In SC she met another man who she married and now after 3 years she is totally miserable with him. She claims he is an alcholic. Here is the issue. With the new husband she had a little girl who is now 1. I feel if she cant make it work, she needs to move back to Texas so that her boys can be close to their biological dad. Not only that all of her family is here. Its almost like she gave up her family and pulled her two boys away from there Dad and now needs to fix it. What would you do in this situation and can she legally move back to Texas if the father of the little girl doesn't want her too? I know... complicated. and she is a good woman.. Just no luck with men

Answer 1

Umm if the father fights her they will not allow her to move...

Answer 2

0kai that is complicated and your a good friend for helping her and getting advice here is what my yet to develop young mind says since i deal with complications as well. She SHOULD move back to texas and divorce her current relationship because one day that alcoholic man might me the death of her and her future. Moving to texas means having family support and more of a chance to talk to the possibly single divorced man and work things out. See i am 14 and if i was being dragged back and fourth in states and if i were a boy i would be rebellious and grow up in a certain way especially with no father figure nor man figure at all! And the baby girl needs a good family too just as she deserves one. What im trying to say is it all comes down to her moving back to texas in however possible way she can because it will benefit everyone family-kids. =]

Answer 3

It would depend on custody and the courts. I  would get documented proof of the alcoholism. And I would get out. Boozers will drag you down with them.

Answer 4

And how is it your business?  

Answer 5

She legally took the boys away from their dad.  Did he give permission, or did she move because she wanted to and didn't care what he said?

I know plenty of non-custodial fathers who go back to court to try to prevent their ex from moving away with the kids.  I know of exactly ONE case where the judge told the mother she couldn't leave the county.  One.  In every other instance, the judge basically looked at the father and said, "Looks like you'll be needing a second job to pay for all those plane tickets you have to buy."

She needs to talk to the lawyer who handled her divorce to find out if there are any restrictions in their custody agreement that would prevent her from moving back to Texas.  We can sit here and guess and philosophize all night but none of that will change what her agreement or the South Carolina laws say.

But do this girl a favor.  Get her into therapy to find out why she can't understand what makes a man a good husband and father.  She may have married losers, but SHE chose them.  Until she figures out why she isn't attracted to good men, she's going to keep picking losers and having more babies with them.  So help her get out of this cycle.

Answer 6

It's none of your business. stick your nose

in a jar of peanut butter

Answer 7

Hmmm, maybe.  I guess it depends on the states laws about moving away from child's parent.  Every state is different.

Answer 8

It all depends on where you live.  Here in the state of Texas whoever is managing conservator (sole custody) can take the child or children anywhere as long as they tell the other parent.  But they don't need permission.  At least that's how it is for me.  My ex husband only has limited visitation so he has no say in how our son is raised.  He on the other hand cannot take him outside the city without my permission.  If he does he is in contempt of court.  Hope this helped.

Answer 9

im not sure but i think if the father didnt get a restraining order then she can move back

Answer 10

She'll have to have the judges ok to move back to TX with the baby.  If she gets custody and can prove that staying in SC would be a hardship she may not have a problem.  She'd have to work something out with the father to share expenses for the little one to see her dad.

Answer 11

This is her life. Let her make her own decisions. She knows what'll be best for her kids, and if her job is in South Carolina then shouldn't she just stay there? The boys can still write and email their dad and occasionally visit him. That isn't too bad. Anyway, I don't think you should interfere, even if she is your friend and you want what's best for her. Let her figure things out on her own. Just be there for support when she needs you. I wish her luck. :)

Answer 12

i believe that if this man is an alchoholic thats dangerous she needs to get away from him and get her little girl away too. texas would be good. the boys would be near there father she would be near her family. also if they go to court for divorce then the judge wont let the girl be with an alcholic. if she moves to texas she can move close enough but far enough away from her ex so that her boys can visit but she wont be worried about seeing him everywhere.

i hope this helps and good luck to your friend! i wish her the best of luck!