Violent child?

Question

My daughter and her husband and their two kids moved in with us while they wait for their housing to become finale. My Problem is their 3 yo girl is abusive. She has hit, pinched, kicked, spit and slapped my 3 yo son. She shoved him into a picture that waiting to b hung and cut him open, he required stitches. Her mom said it was an accident, but my son told me she shoved him right into it. I dont know what to do. The mom Refuses to listen. She says my son is a wimp and maybe he should learn to stand up for himself. I say her daughter is abusive and dangerous. Ive raised 3 other kids, ive never seen this behavior before. She refuses to listen, she wont sit thru meals, she tells adults NO, she spits on all of us. She pinches and chokes animals. Mom Says we are all over reacting. Spanking hasn't worked, time outs do not work, But Mom is also very inconsistent and talks about her in front of others and is angry herself ALL THE TIME. some one anyone advice before I go postal???

Answer 1

I agree she does have a problem. I've worked with children, and I have a two year old who has many friends this age. I have never seen behaviour like this, and yes it is abusive.

Where would she get this behaviour? Is it something she's witnessed between her parents? Is she angry about something?

This little girl is your granddaughter. You have every right to intervene. It's also a bit delicate too, being the grandparent. It's not like you can just cut this kid out of your life. I'd suggest getting help from someone, maybe making an appt. with your doctor to see what course of action you can take. It's sad that it could hurt your relationship with your daughter, but at the same time, you need to protect your son. I'm sorry you have to go through this!

Answer 2

1 word and 3 numbers nanny 911 or 2 qworks super nanny call

Answer 3

It's your house.  You can interview or ask them to leave.  YOU do not have to put up with it.  If they cannot respect your rules then they need to go elsewhere.  It may take a long time to fix it but it's worth your sanity.

Answer 4

Well if the parents will not listen and control their child then you need to kick them out.  Tell them to control her or you will and if they don't like it get out!!

Answer 5

Tell your daughter that she needs to do something about her kid or she will need to find another place to stay. That is what I would do. I have never heard of a young child acting like that. that's awful.  I don't' think I could handle having that kid in the same house as my kid. Have you talked to the child's father? Maybe he can help? I would tell her mother that she may need to talk to someone herself about her anger problem. As it may be affecting her 3 year old

Answer 6

ask around for some family-counselling cause mother and child need some serious guidance and self-restrictions and anger-management.Obviously the relationship between your daughter and her kid is very much damaged,I quess there are problems in their marriage  and  she is taking out all her frustrations on the kid....tell them as long as they are living under your roof there are RULES,if not let them leave.... you could try to talk to your son-in law,where is he in all this ****?????maybe relationship between you and your daughter is somewhat troubled too atleast it seems she doesnt respect you...you are there just for the convenience

Answer 7

It sounds like your daughter doesn't know how to parent her child, which (you aren't going to like this) but she would have learned to parent from you.   What I would do is offer an ultimatum.  Either you BOTH go to parenting classes to learn how to deal with this 3 year old who is obviously acting out, or she and her husband find somewhere else to stay.

Answer 8

have you spanked her or her mother. I would disipline her in front of her mother and tell her that grandma does not allow that kind of behavior in her house. spank her and put her on a time out (she should get a spray of binaca in the smart spitty mouth) . keep doing it in front of her mother, and when she realizes that mommy wont stop you, she'll stop. as far as the animal abuse, you are not over reacting. tell the mother her daughter has to behave for the safety of your child and your pets or they have to go before you call CPS

good luck to you

Answer 9

The mother upholding the child and making excuses for the child in everything she does is not helping the child at all.  It only shows she can do as she pleases.  When your son got hurt I doubt she was trying to hurt him as she did but she did mean to push him and should have been punished for pushing and made to see that when she misbehaves she has to have a punishment.  Also people get hurt sometimes.  I hope they are out of your home soon.  I really don't think there is anything you can do unless you threaten to throw them out if the mother doesn't get her daughter in hand.  You will be the one to have to be consistent this time.  Another thing even if your son was a wimp (not saying he is) they are guests in your home and should act like it.

Answer 10

maybe you should video tap this and show your daughter. if you don't and you just tell her than she won't belive you. make a video and make her watch it when everyones asleep (not her husband, her husband should watch too). or if she is going to do something (your granddaughter) then you bring your daughter over. she can't just say "mom, it was an accident"!!! she needs to help this child fast before she goes to elementry school and when shes older!!! if you don't help her than she will be a monster when she is a teen. if you help her, she will be nice (sometimes pushy). if you don't, she will hurt people and be on drugs!!!

and besides, thats like a mother abusing her child