Virginity rubbish?

Question

why do some people think that if your a virgin your 'better' than other teens or your 'pure' - pure from what? seriously?? it comes across as religious indoctrination. And what about girls who say there 'saving them selves??' for what? a man who no doubt wont have 'saved himself' for her?

isn't s*x normal healthy human thing? don't woman deserve to have there sexual appetites met ? because all i ever read about is people trying to persuade woman pout of having s*x not men.

Answer 1

OK the whole virginity is mainly aimed at teens because there are other things besides stds, and pregnancy that can effect you. like emotional problems ( thinking you in love when you no because of hormones)

and i see it as being able to ignore peer pressure.

i believe as long as you 100% ready know how to keep save and the pros and cons of s*x go a head.

but condoms doesn't always protect against stds 100% and everything as at least a 1% fail rate

you can love without s*x and you can have s*x without love

its you boy do what you want just make sure to do research before it to late

oh and i think men that have s*x to have s*x are man whores and i hope they get an std and marry a gold digger

Answer 2

well im christian 15 years old and im saving myself for marrige many teens in my church are also even the guys so it is worth it to  wait

Answer 3

I agree with you however it takes all kinds to make the world go round.I hope for there sake its worth the wait.

Answer 4

You can take the religios argument out of it. At that point in history the 'virgins' they referred to weren't any older than sixteen, and had been prepared by their mothers and the women in their families for what a wife in their culture should be like, act like, and treat their husband like. In rhe bed and out of it.

The greatest argument for waiting now is simple. We live in the age of Regret. would have should have could have. At 12,13,14,15 you've been convinced by TV and Popular music that you know everything and adults know nothing. And it all feels good, so why not?

The trouble is, no matter what you think now, you won't want the same things for your life at 25 you wanted at 15. You grow up, start to see things differently, start to regret some of the ways you acted then. And what if some of those things can't be reversed? Like the son who's keeping you broke and driving you crazy with what he does at school, he's out of control because you never learned to control yourself and couldn't teach him control?

Or the disease that messed your insides up even though you recovered but now you can't have any with the wonderful partner you've found and want to marry?

Or you married that boy because you two had such great s*x you thought it was love but you later find out he's a controlling, abusive, lazybones who can't keep a job to save his life but wants you to work and will kick your tail when you can't do that and take care of him and your four kids?

There are just so many factors in real life, and the very young just don't consider them because they CAN'T. It's beyond them, like asking a five year old to take a college test.

With age comes experience and hopefully better judgement.

Wait. The right time will come, better if you're married but not always, and you'll be safe and secure within yourself and know that you are ready to face what comes out of that 'one time'.

Answer 5

I think this whole "purity" thing is garbage.  Just because you've had s*x, doesn't make you impure.

While I admire those who wait to have s*x, I don't think it makes you any better of a person, or even any better of a Christian.

Answer 6

I think that a non-virgin can be better than a virgin if they maybe regret their descision. Sometimes religious virgins can be judgemental of non virgins. I don't think teens should be having s*x (I'm 15) but mistakes happen and we learn from them. Let's just hope you don't have a consequence for that mistake. But it does happen. I happen to be an 'accident'. My mom had me at 17 and she was judged by Christian friends and was forced into marriage.

I think the virgins ARE better than the nonvirgins when a nonvirgin is sleeping around at a young age and bragging about it and completley flaunting their sexuality. Thats wrong, no matter how old you are.

Answer 7

Parents are raising children, not dogs.  Virginity may make a person (girl or boy) better and purer than those who jump into bed with everything wearing pants.  They are not infected with all types of STD's and are free from the guilt and shame that goes with it.

I was a virgin when I married and it hasn't affected me sexually.  I can do bedroom acrobatics as good as the best, and have no inhibitions doing them with the man I married.  I got the best of the trade.

Answer 8

I think that it's no a good idea for any teenager to have s*x whether male or female. Not because of religious indoctrination but they aren't ready to handle the responsibility of the actions, whether it's a STD or getting pregnant. Having a child in itself is a full time job. Now, does s*x happen when males and females are teenagers of course it does. If there was education about STD's from when a child first hits puberty they would more then likely wait till they are both emotionally and physically ready for s*x. Don't overgeneralize men stating that they aren't going to save themselves for a woman. I think there are lot more male virgins then you think.

Note: Just because they've made condoms and birth control it still doesn't mean that you don't have to worry about STD's or getting pregnant. Nothing is 100 percent effective in preventing them.

Answer 9

just cause your a little dirty!

Answer 10

Yes s*x is something humans and all mamals have but many mate for life and s*x has always been viewed in the past as just a way of creating life.  A womans virginity was viewed as a gift saved for her future husband on their wedding night.  Many religions still believe in that, and that premaritial s*x is a SIN against God.  So yes it is a religious thing in many cases.

Some girls however just would rather not risk a unplanned/unwanted pregnancy or dying from an STD just because of s*x because s*x isn't worth dying for.

Answer 11

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as you're mature about the whole thing and KNOW what you're doing. Whereas if the person was 11-13 or even younger, it's a different story.

Answer 12

You are plainly not mature enough to consider a sexual relationship.

Answer 13

I am a virgin, and I am planning on waiting, but I'm not waiting for marriage, or out of religious convictions. I am waiting because right now I'm just not ready. I am waiting until *I* am ready, regardless of what is considered acceptable by society.

That means being ready for the emotional consequences of course, but also for the physical consequences, such as pregnrancy and STDs (because even if you take your birth control pill everyday at exactly 9:00 am, and store and use condoms perfectly everytime, there's still no guarantee against those consequences). At seventeen years old, I know that I'm not ready for  that, and really that's the only thing that matters when it comes to losing my virginity.

That being said, I have no intention of waiting until I'm married, and I would certainly never marry someone solely because I had s*x with them and got pregnant (that isn't good for the parents *or* the baby). I plan on being in a commited, monogamous relationship, but I do not plan on  being married. That isn't to say that I won't be, it just isn't a requirement for me.

I thought through all of these things when I first had an interest in s*x (I was probably eleven or twelve, reading trashy romance novels). For example, although I have no doubt that I am mentally prepared for parenthood (this is primarily because I would have my amazing mom on speed dial lol) physically, I'm not. Having a baby basically means giving up sleeping for a couple of years. Teens need more sleep than adults. Not to mention the financial aspect. Parenting is just easier as an adult.

I say if you've thought through everything, even things that seem insignificant (how will you deal with a break-up after sleeping with someone?) and have come up with a practical plan to deal with any and all consequences (that you are capable of putting into practice) and still want to have s*x, it's your business.

Being a virgin, or not being a virgin has no bearing on you as a person. It does not determine your character, or you "goodness." It's just a fact, one way or another, and I think that it is ridiculous for someone to judge someone for the state of their virginity, or lack thereof, regardless of their age or gender. There is a lot of peer pressure pushing teens both to stay virgins, and to have s*x. The idea is to ignore the peer pressure and figure out what's right for you.

The fact is, s*x is natural. Human beings are supposed to have s*x. That's why it feels good, it's incentive for humans to go through all the pain that comes with giving birth. I don't know about the rest of you, but I wouldn't have gotten very far with that whole "existing" thing were it not for s*x.

s*x is not wrong or evil or dirty, and if someone feels ashamed or guilty about s*x, then they are probably not ready to have it. If a person is ready to have s*x, and they've really thought through all the potential consequences (and contrary to popular belief, some teenagers really *are* capable of thinking things through) then I say good for them. Beyond that, it's really none of my business.

Answer 14

I completely agree with you, I think that If a girls knows about contraception, relationship ettiquete & can distinguish love from s*x....their their is no reason why she can't have s*x...as long as she is not disrespecting herself.

I bet alot of kids get married to the wrong person too early because their parents romantisized s*x when they were young & most likely did not teach them anything about contraception etc...............thats why loads of teens are getting pregnant, stds, and emotional damage.

Answer 15

I believe males and females should stay virgins as long as possible.

Reasons....

your less likely to end up a teenage parent

your less likely to contract a STD

your less likely to end up with hundreds of s*x partners by the time you're 30

But the number one reason is......making love will mean something to you and our partner.

Answer 16

I agree.  I hate that people talk bad or say you aren't "pure" if your not a virgin.  It's ridiculous.  Especially the religion, where all these people are commiting suicide murders so that they can cross over to 20 virgins or whatever.  It's stupid.  s*x is a natural thing.  Like passing gas.  LOL. Animals do it daily, we are technically animals also.  As long as the person is SMART and not CARELESS, and they use a condom and take the proper precautions against pregnancy & STD's they should not be judged on their virginity, or lack of it.

Answer 17

I don't think virgins are better if a women decides to save her self for marriage then that's her choice but I think she should also know that her husband probably won't be a virgin. but I think if you choose to have s*x at any age you decide you should protect yourself condoms and birth control. I also think that teens who do want to explore the sexual but very normal feelings should know everything about it first including the consequnces std's and pregnancy and how to prevent these things from happening. but your right it's totally normal to feel sexual and want to have s*x it's human nature.

Answer 18

I don't think virgins are in any way better than non virgins, BUT teenagers should NOT be having s*x fullstop..they just dont have the emotional maturity to deal with it .

Answer 19

You are answering your own question, in one sentence you refer to them as "teens" and "girls" and then you say, "women deserve to have their sexual appetite met" Yes, WOMEN do, but why encourage teens and girls to grow up so fast..... let them be kids. I wish someone had encouraged me to hold on2 my childhood.

Answer 20

yea its normal if u want to get pregnant at a Young age

Answer 21

i think a woman is worth more for her mind and her thoughts and feelings, the person she is if you understand what i am saying, not her virginity

Answer 22

I do not think a virgin teen is inherently a better person than a non virgin teen. After all a virgin can equally as easily treat others bad and be stuck up and mean. The reason it comes across as religious indoctrination is because many teens who choose abstinence until marriage are Christians. For Christians s*x outside of marriage is considered a sin and committing adultery against your future spouse.

Now...I do not think that interpretation is perfect. Marriage was different in those days and happened at a younger age quite often and wives were considered property and a man could have multiple wives.

For our day and age I think the ideal is for s*x to take place between ADULTS in a committed relationship -- g*y or straight or whatever. I think teens are too emotionally immature to handle the emotional ramifications of a sexual relationship and I think purely casual s*x is an abuse of the purpose of s*x.

Is s*x a normal healthy human thing? Yes -- for adults. Teens may have a s*x drive but they lack the responsibility and emotional maturity to handle it and should wait.

Do women deserve to have their sexual appetites met?  Yes and luckily we live in the electronic age. One can o****m through masturbation and I do not find anything wrong with that.Using another human being to get you off is very poor treatment of that person. Women abhor men who use women for their sexual needs. Don`t men deserve to be valued as people also?

Persuading womeon out of s*x but not men?  Yes that is an annoying double standard.

Clever humans have created condoms and birth control? Yes we have and as evidenced by the number of unwanted pregnancies and the rise in STDs in our nation they go unused or improperly used and it is proof that they are not 100% effective. We would have fewer abortions; STDs and unwanted babies parented by people not equipped to be parents yet if people used birth control effectively but since they don`t abstinence is best.

Now I still want my teenaged children to know about birth control so that if they should make the choice to have s*x -- a choice I would not approve of but perhaps would be unable to stop them as I cannot be in more than one place at a time and I have three children -- they will have access to the most reliable birth control possible. Definitely a condom along with something else like spermicide in addition.

IMHO no person under 16 should be in a one-on-one romantic relationship because their focus should be on friends and school.

Persons 16 and over can date but I do not think they are ready for a sexual relationship emotionally nor do they have the responsibility to use birth control responsibly every time. Thus they should leave their clothes on.

Adults who have been through school and have a career and place to live and are in a position to contemplate moving in together for a committed relationship -- probably over 22 -- then perhaps they are ready for a sexual relationship.

Answer 23

I wish I would have saved myself for my husband,to be honest it makes alot of unhealthy questions with like with who and things like that.It is just one more insecurity to have in your marriage,And I would have loved to tell my kids their father was the only man i had ever been with.but its too late for me to be able to give that t o my husband.

Answer 24

.Seems like you have a guilty conscience