Visitation with criminal Dad?

Question

My kids dad (my Ex) is a criminal. It looks like he may be going to prison. He was getting kids for a week a month (they are 2 and 4) I am going to court Tuesday to get visitation restricted so he can not take them anymore.

Should I offer state supervised visiation or insist on no visits at all? I wonder if it will be better for the kids to just not see him - DD (4) seems to miss him a lot more when she sees him, especially if it is just for a couple of hours....

I do not want to be one of those moms who keep kids from dad - I want to do the best thing for them -- Is it better not to see him at all??

Answer 1

supervised visits will be fine.

Answer 2

under every circumstance except abuse/neglect it is better for your children to see their dad. Just have someone with them.

Answer 3

You should have supervised visation, until they're old enough to tell you weather they want to see him or not. he's more than likely going to lose unsupervised visation now that he's going to prison. if you can with your 4 year old is ask if he/she wants to see him.

Answer 4

I think that supervised visits are a last resort before visitation is removed all together. You don't want the kids to grow up being angry at you because you wouldn't let them see him I understand that you are trying to protect your children but it would be awful if it came back at you later on. Was his offense violent? Do you think he would hurt your kids? Did he hurt you? If you answered yes to any of them then talk to your lawyer about it and see what course of action is necessary.

Its a tricky situation and i wish you all the best.

Answer 5

Visitation. Don't do that to your kids. It really is not good for them to have there not allowed to visit them.

Answer 6

It would be unfair to cut them off completely from their dad-he is THEIR dad after all, regardless of his status. Supervised visitations should work out fine-at least the children will still be able to see their dad. Good luck!

Answer 7

Let them see him but, make sure it is supervised. Sometimes you gotta listen to the kids, they told you they miss him so let them see him.

Answer 8

It's best if you talk to an attorney who knows how your particular court feels about this issue. You don't want to overplay your hand by trying to deny visitation and tick off the court. It could backfire. Will he fight what you want?

It might be confusing for a 4 yr old to all of a sudden not see her dad. She might blame you, or think she is unlovable if her dad would desert her. Sometimes the court will appoint a therapist to talk to the kids.

You don't say how long he may be going to jail for. If it's for just a couple of years, then it might be a good idea to keep some sort of contact now. I know a girl (5 at the time) who didn't know her dad, yet he got immediate overnight visitation, in a different state, after doing 2 yrs for drugs. Luckily he was basically harmless, but I found it rather surprising that they would uproot her life for weeks at a time. It was very confusing to the girl because he was basically a stranger.

You sound like a good mom, you'll figure out what is best.