WHAT CAN I DO FOR THIS GIRL I GOT PREGNANT???

Question

I met this girl six months ago and we were cool with each other. When I met her she told me her man was locked up and she didn't want nothing more than just s*x. I didn't want anything either and even if I did, she would not be my type as far as a relationship. But she was a good s*x partner. So that was all we were to each other.

Then we stopped seeing each other. Three months later she calls me saying she was pregnant from the last time we had s*x. And she was keeping the baby. But at that time I had met this girl I really liked. And me and her were trying to date. Today she is my girlfriend. This girl I am having a baby with wants me to be there for her through her pregnancy. But then I have a girlfriend who I care a lot and I don't want to share my time with anyone else or anything. My question is, what are the things I am allowed to do for her as my baby mama? Now that I have a girlfriend. Am I supposed to do things like, give her a back rub? Go to the doctors?

Answer 1

YOu don't have to have an physical interaction with this woman.  Think about it.  IF your current girlfriend was pregnant would you want her ex rubbing her back.

Doctor visits are up to you, but I would say no.  Be there for her financially.  Start buying diapers in different sizes, and clothes and such.  

But how sure are you that this is your baby.  YOu may just want to stay in phone contact with her until the baby is born and then have a DNA test.  Maybe put money aside throughout the pregnancy just in case it is yours and then when the test comes back you can start helping out.

Answer 2

While she is pregnant you don't have to wait on her hand n' foot. You dont have to give her back rubs and all that. Because the bay isnt here. Your responsiblity is THE BABY. Not her. When that baby comes and you need to be there financially, as far as money for the baby (clothes, diapers, wipes, bottles, ect.) But her, she can handle herself. Be at the hospital. You have to tell your current girlfriend about it now tho. Cause if you wait she might leave you.

Answer 3

Well, I am in a similar situation. My long time bf who has been in and out of my life for a little over 8yrs. had a baby with a woman he was not in a relationship with. The child is 5yrs. old now. Him and I had separated on mutual terms before he knew her. I came back into the picture when the child was 2yrs. old. He was never in a relationship with her and always did things separately. He communicated through a third party and still does. This woman thought that because he impregnated her...he was indebted to her. So, when I came back she was not very welcoming about me. She has done many vindictive things to us in a manipulative way. Still my bf has not had contact with her. He has always and still does communication through a third party. I suggest to you that if you are not willing to sacrifice your relationship..you should'nt! Remember, she is having a baby under these circumstances that she was well aware of. Your gf will end up being hurt and cut short of a fair relationship. I suggest that you support her by fair financial means and include your gf. Show the baby mama that your relationship is solid and that you are going to make this work with your gf involved. She will have no choice but to respect this. Going to appts. is a personal decision you need to make with your gf. My bf never went to things like this. He is very involved in his daughters life and she has grown up knowing that her parents were never together. There is no confusion and she loves us all. I have a special bond with her. So speaking from experience, it is in the best interest of the child and the feelings of all involved to do things straight in order and by the book. Involve your gf and be honest. You have to know what you want. Don't send mixed messages to either parties(baby mama or gf). Good luck to you.

You can email me if you have any further questions...I am always willing to lend my advice according to my experiences. I learn from others as others learn from me.

Answer 4

get a DNA test as soon as he/she is born

Answer 5

Go to the doctor with her yes, Read and Gain Insight on what she is going through, the baby's development every day, I would make sure you tell your current girlfriend about this, most likely she will be jealous and it won't work out. But your child is way more important now. Make sure you talk to your child's mother on a daily basis, its important and makes her feel not alone, because it took two to create this child. The baby senses the mother and father's relationship and can tell when there is stress, so make sure whatever she wants you to be, you be.  

Answer 6

First of all I would recommend that you get a paternity test done so you can be positive it is your baby. Then it's up to you what to do, you should provide financial support - I think that's the law - but there's no legal requirement for you to do anything else. I think one of the most important this for you to do is tell your current girlfriend.

Answer 7

help financially and go to some doctor appts and make sure when the baby is here u see it on a regular basis..Next time be more careful!! Does your new girlfriend know about this?

Answer 8

Take your girlfriend and get the h**l out of there. When her ex gets out of jail he will kill you no matter how much help you gave her during the pregnancy.

Answer 9

If she is not your girlfriend there is no need to act like she is.

Just make sure both of them know the situation. And just be there for the baby. You can go to a couple appointments. Just be the man you sound like and take care of your baby. She may need help financially, but babies cost a lot of money.

Just try and explain it to her calmly that you will be a good father, but you want to be with you current girlfriend, and you can still be there for you child and his/her mom.

Answer 10

Well, the first thing I would do is demand a paternity test.

Then, if this is indeed your child you are not indebted to the mother AT ALL, but are certainly responsible for child support for the baby. And, if you want visitation rights etc., you will need to go through the court system to set something up.

Good luck

Answer 11

Tell your new girlfriend and ask for her support.

Find out for definite that you're the father.

Offer assistance during labour.

Offer financial assistance.

If you want to see the child agree between you how this will work.

You have no allegiance to the mother, she's not your partner, but you should be there for the child if you can be.

Good Luck

Answer 12

first of all if it was just s*x you should have wore protection and wouldn't be in this situation. But as she is pregnant and you don't want to be with her all you have to do is be their for her not give her back rubs. But go the the appointment with her it will put her at ease she will need money to buy baby things and when the baby is born money for food and cloths just make sure you keep regular contact with the child and have him or her once a week to give her a rest  

Answer 13

Since you are in a relationship with another women, The best thing for you to do for the baby's mom is show her support, Take her to doctors appts,Talk to her if she needs it pregnancy can be stressful and tough and at the same time amazing!

I did have a question for you though.. Since the guy she was seeing was locked up and she she wanted someone to fool around with do you think you were the only guy? Or maybe more? Do you question the child being your's at all? I would not start the whole thing with her either about you not being the dad because since you did have s*x its very well you could be but I was just asking if she had other partners.

If you like the girl your with a lot just make sure your faithful to her, You can still be supportive to the babys mom without fooling around with her.

Take her to doctors

I think a FRIENDLY backrub is okay

Be supportive and helpful

Answer 14

you can have a girlfriend and still support the woman you are having a baby with. explain the situation to your gf, and tell her that you want to play an active roll in your child's life. that includes doc appts. the pregnant woman is going to need alot of moral support from you. your girlfriend shoiuld be understanding of this, as long as you have no further sexual contact with the pregnant woman. congrats on the baby, and be the best dad you can be. you dont need to be with the mother to be a good dad

Answer 15

At this point, you don't even know you're the father.  You need to have a DNA test to prove/disprove you are the father.  Tell her you want that done when the baby is born.

Answer 16

Get a paternity test done.  If she was interested you as just a s*x partner, chances are she's had others since you.  Make sure this is your child before committing to helping with the baby.  If it is yours, you should be as supportive as you can.  If you have a girlfriend right now, I don't suggest giving your 'baby mama' back rubs, but going to the doctors with her would be a good thing.  You'll need to explain things to your girlfriend before hand so that she's not hit broadsided with the situation.  If the baby is yours, you should be in his or her life as much as possible and let him or her know how important they are to you.  Best of luck!

Answer 17

Are you sure your the father?It just sounds weird that you stopped seeing her then all of a sudden after 3mths she tells u she's pregnant.How far pregnant is she?Find out more info before making any decisions.U dont have to be there for her if it turns out ur the father you have ur own life now but its up to u do what feels right.Good luck.

Answer 18

well. first you have to telll your girlfriend.. and yeah you should go to the doctorss.. and give her a bak rub!  ITS YOUR BABY !!!!!!!

Answer 19

first off I would explain how all this came about to start with you need to clear the air with the one your with, then sit down with the one your having the baby with and discuss what it is that she wants from you and let her know how much or little you want to be involved, have you thought about the possibility of her having more than one s*x friend other than you, maybe she just needs some sort of moral support, maybe she just needs a friend to help get her through this,you need tosit down and think of all the questions you have for her as well

Answer 20

Help her financially with whatever the baby needs and at least be there with her for her appointments. Since you are not with the gal, you don't have to attend all of them, just make sure you don't miss the big ones like the ultrasound of the baby where you can tell the gender and whether or not she is carrying a healthy baby, etc.

Answer 21

Back rubs? No. Go to the doctor, probably yes. I mean it is your baby, I would think you'd want to know if the baby is developing ok. You definitely need to be involved. Sorry but you did sleep with her and that is how babies are made sooo, you sorta knew the consequences.  

Answer 22

You don't HAVE to do anything for her now, but if you want to be part of the baby's life, or at the birth, you will need her cooperation.  You don't have to rub her back, but she may want you to pay medical bills.  It's your baby too, decide how involved you want to be, and stick to the details of accomplishing it.  She may sue you for child support.  You will pay for 18 years.