WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION ? I'm very confused?

Question

My bf started some conversation with his ex sister in law about his custody for his son and her divorce and decided to help each other..until one night the conversation and txtmessaging croosed the normal line and went sexual between them...we had a big fight and he said he was drunk and was just a bad mistake and it will never happen again...he called her the next day and told her it was just a joke ...since than they are constantly talking still about the court and divorce ....he sais it is never never sexual anymore...but I have trust issues now...she calls for no reason at all sometime ...I just passed my class....I'm just having lunch ..and waned to talk to you...almost every day...I get angry and he gets very upset...Should I send her an e-mail....Or can I just trust him...What would you do in this situation ?..He told me it is only bussiness and nothig personal...many times and that he loves me..and all that c**p...But still..

Answer 1

you know what i would actually get very upset at that. just tell him if this amkes me feel uncomfortable then you must stop this now, if now you are choosing ur ex's sis over me and thats a man i dont need.

Answer 2

I would be very p***** off also.

Answer 3

Your boyfriend crossed a serious line when he flirted sexually with an ex-inlaw, so your trust issue I believe is validated.  No, going to her will not address the trust issue - it appears they lean on each other which should be a red flag to you...why is he not leaning on you for the support he needs - why is he going to an ex-inlaw that is related to the mother of his child? (I'm assuming she is, could be wrong) When you comment 'and all that c**p' regarding his proclamation of love, that indicates that you doubt his sincerity, in which I too would doubt.  I feel for you and understand your confusion.  I personally wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him and would personally get out of the relationship ASAP.

Answer 4

If he really loved you, he wouldn't continue to involve himself with a person/in a situation that hurts you and causes you to doubt him.

Unless she is his attorney, it's not business- it IS personal.

Answer 5

Call her! If she gets weird about it or your husband gets mad something must be going on, there should absolutely be no reason for her calling him on a daily basis. Seems to me there is not really that great of a reason for them to talk in the first place she was not with him her sister was!

Answer 6

It's unacceptable that he would keep contact with someone he crossed the line with. It's unacceptable that he's talking about personal things with any woman other than you. You should be his only close female friend. If he can't give her up for the sake of your feelings then there is something going on between them. He crossed the line, drunk or not, one time or not, he should now completely sever contact out of respect for you and focus on repairing your trust. He should be proving to you that he can live without her in his life. Sounds to me like he is having an emotional affair and if it hasn't turned physical yet it will. Don;t trust him - you don;t have to trust someone who has behaved in a way that is sexually inappropriate by text message, conversation or anything else. Lay down the law fast and nip it in the bud - tell him the following: 'let go of her completely, delete and block her number/email, have no further contact with her or you can pack your bags and go and think about what it is you want from our relationship.' If you do this fast he will gain respect for you and panic that he might lose you - this will rekindle his feelings for you -even if you have to carry out your ultimatum. If you let it slide and choose to blindly trust then your complacency will just give them more chance to develop their relationship - until you lose him altogether.

P.s. do NOT send her an email or contact her in anyway - many women get a kick out of dating men who are taken and your contact with her will boost her ego and give her attention. It will also make her seem more important when she tells him and he will feel prompted to protect her. It will make you seem more needy and less strong= less attractive. Do not go on about her to him - this will just make her seem more special to him and highlight the thing that shouldn't be there in the first place -her. If you're going to talk about things with him speak only of you and him and do not run her down. She isn't the problem - his behaviour is. He has to be strong enough to reject her advances. You can't control either of them. Show him that it's you + him with no one else, or else you will happily get rid of him. This will do thre trick- even if you have to act on it and leave him for awhile. If you leave him for a bit he'll soon lose interest in this 'forbidden fruit' and he'll see you as the thing he has to work for - far more attractive than a doormat.

Answer 7

id tell him to stop if he loves and respects you he will but then you have to worry hes not talkin to her when hes not around you about s*x or so called bussiness

Answer 8

DUMP HIS BUTT.  You need to respect yourself enough to never ever put up with this kind of behavior.  He cheated on you pure and simple.  Have some self respect.

In my opinion..he cuts off ALL communication with her and makes ammends or he is history end of story.

Answer 9

Drunk is no excuse, everyone knows what they are doing when they are drunk. I've been pretty drunk and never didn't know what was going on?

And there is always a little truth to what ever you say, drunk or not. Its just testing the waters and seeing if the possibility exists? What was her response and has she told you? sounds like she wasn't too pissed off or she would have told someone?

Keep an eye on those two.

Answer 10

You shouldn't say anything to her, he should. Also he should watch what he says to the ex sister in-law especially if he's trying to get custody of his son. He should be talking with professionals or at least you. Tell him it's got to end, I don't blame you for getting angry and upset. If it's business then he ought to handle in that way and forget the personal. Good Luck to Ya.

Answer 11

tell his brother

Answer 12

This is a tough situation to be in, I'm sorry you have to be dealing with this...

If I were you I would make him cut all communication with her. You trusted him at first allowing him and her to keep close contact and he blew it by crossing the line. I would ask him to stop talking to her for good,  at least until I can feel a bit more trust. If he complains tell him you gave him his space and he blew it, and if you are more important to him then he will cut all communication with his sister- in-law ... remember she is going through a divorce, which makes her available and vulnerable!!!

Answer 13

You are the one he should be talking to about those things not an ex sister in law.  She is out to have him for herself, wake up.  He is eating up the attention and she is undermining your relationship with him.  Believe me if the shoe were on the other foot she would be all up in your face about leaving her man alone.  He crossed the line with his conversations and she is having way too much fun s******g you over with all the attention she is giving him.  Give him an ultimatum if he doesn't want to give her up then its time to move on.

Answer 14

Even if I were drunk, I don't think I could ever lead a conversation into something sexual with an ex sibling in law! Sure, they're not blood related... But. I don't really know.. I wouldn't deal with a situation like that, period. I've learned to never give second chances.. Not unless I want to end up getting more hurt in the end.