WHAT do YOU think of my POEM i wrote?

Question

THE PLIGHT OF MAN

I gave you the world

In which you could live

You were given it all

Yet claim you have nothing to give

I gave you the sun

From which there was light

yet you lusted for darkness

Letting me vanish from sight

I gave you adam

And a partner in eve

Yet you covet another

So decided to leave

I gave you parents

A sister and brother

Yet you live alone

Not loving each other

I gave you the lakes

With water so clear

Yet people are thirsting

their screams you dont hear

I gave you the bread

There was enough for all

Yet you ignore the plight

Of the hungry that call

I gave you a brain

With the power of thought

Yet its greed and hatred

That children are taught

I showed you my love

There was nothing to fear

Yet you choose to ignore me

'Til death it is near.

Answer 1

A collection of clerihew style thoughts, tagged together with some sort of quasi religious theme. Written, perhaps, as part of a creative writing course.

Don't give up the day job just yet. Instead try to find some work by Carol Ann Duffy. She makes the prosaic sound better than banal.

Answer 2

it's very good

Answer 3

Well they are all saying you copied this, then let them name the poet, no one as yet as come up with a name, I have never heard it, and personally I think it is truely beautiful.

Answer 4

this poems in a book dude copycat

Answer 5

The last line in the first verse has way too many syllables, it doesn't flow (try.."but still couldn't give").Similarly...'Let' instead of 'letting' in the second would sound better.It gets better from then on.

Answer 6

not really into poetry but that's not half bad...that is if you've not copied it????? and if you haven't well 10/10.

Answer 7

It,s not bad.

Answer 8

haha

try doin sumthing

wich is YOUR OWNN

and not copied