WHAT does a WOMAN'S "self-esteem" have to do with her ability to be a good partner?

Question

I was told that the type of woman that I consider ideal is one with "low self-esteem" or "Self-esteem issues".

I say.. so what? I date women based on their ability to be a good partner. If my girlfriend or wife has low self-esteem but is a GREAT partner. What does it matter?

Why is it so important that my partner have "high self esteem"? Explain why I should look for that. What does a woman's "self-esteem" bring to the table exactly?

LOGICAL ANSWERS ONLY. Please...

Answer 1

A woman with high self esteem always has the ability to be a great partner; reason being is she doesn't need you 24/7 to fill in her voids.  Listen, you just like the rest of the human race has things to do places to be, right?  So, you don't need a girl like that dragging you down.

Answer 2

In order for someone to be happy and fulfilled that person needs to have a good self esteem.  I would think that as someone's partner you would want someone who is always eager to learn, to move foward in life and to be passionate.  What's the point of sharing your time with someone who doesn't have the self-assurance to want to work harder and success more.  I personally would hate to come home to someone who is a downer.

Answer 3

Because a woman with low self esteem doesn't know the value of her self-worth. She basis how she should be treated as a woman or a partner (in a relationship with you) on how you feel towards her and not how she see's herself. A woman with low or no self-esteem or self awareness will not be happy in any relationships she's in because she's not happy with herself. She's not comfortable in her own skin, she's not comfortable with her body, and she'll cling too you for fear of not being able to find anyone who will accepter her for who she is (again, because she doesn't accept herself). This will give a man such as yourself the tools needed to treat her according to your own personal beliefs of how you feel a woman should be treated. Why would care about showing her dignity and respect when she has no dignity, pride or respect for herself. This way you'll be free to do as you please with out any gripes, b!tches, complaints or concerns because you know she's not going anywhere (no matter what you do or how you treat her).

Now on the other hand, the opposite affect can take place as well. Low self-esteem can also lead to her craving the validation of sexuality or attractiveness from other men (other than yourself). Which can lead to promiscuity, being untrustworthy, and infidelity (which I think in your case this has already happened based on how you view women). She will dress according to seek the attention of other men while out with you (causing you to be jealous, and maybe even confrontation with other men), thus validating her self worth. She wants the attention of other men, because it makes her feel beautiful. And no matter how many times you tell her how attractive she is, it won't matter. Because in her mind, she not beautiful unless other men thinks she is.

Seeking a woman with low-self-esteem can lead to a number of problems and complications for you my friend (For some strange reason I think you already know this). A woman who’s not confident in who she is, knows her value, what she brings to the table, and how to live life happy has a plain load of extra emotional baggage that spells nothing but trouble.  And when you deal with some who’s an emotional wreck you have one of the worst combinations for a relationship that is doomed to fail from the get go (especially when you’re an emotional mess yourself). Your insecurities as a man, mixed with her insecurities as a woman will bring you nothing but drama and headache. And keep you coming to this forum posting negativity against all women in general. But you might be the type of guy that likes being in relationships with unstable women. Some men like the challenge of damaging a woman’s mind; it gives them this false sense of accomplishment to know they “broke a woman down” emotionally. So they pick women like this apart, find her weaknesses and pray on them. So a woman with no self-esteem may be what you want. Because this allows you the mental outlet you need to get back at the woman who fcked up your mind by playing with another woman’s mind. Reassuring you that you’ll never let another woman do you the way that last woman did.

Answer 4

If she isn't satisfied with herself, how do you expect her to be satisfied with you? I've heard of a lot of cases in which people with poor self-esteem go into relationships, become dependent on their partners for validation, and lose their s__t when the relationship fails on account of this.

The fact that you don't care about a partner's self-esteem says a lot about your own. It seems that you want someone who only cares about you and not about themselves.

Answer 5

Low self esteem women tend to be hyper jealous and controlling. Good Luck.

Answer 6

I think it does have a lot of impact on how you can be as a partner. People are effected by low self esteem in various ways. Some may feel jealous of their partners and be bitter because they do not feel as good as them. Or they may feel they don't deserve much and will take rubbish from a relationship. They could also feel they are not good enough and constantly be jealous about other women coming onto their partners.

Answer 7

Would you rather be the chosen partner of someone who believes she deserves the best in life (i.e. you), or of someone who thinks she's too ugly, stupid or worthless to find anyone else?

Answer 8

People with low self-esteem are very unhappy with themselves, which makes them bad partners. It's not possible for someone with sick self-esteem to be a great partner.

Answer 9

My ex and I both had low self-esteem and it was a horror!  There's a constant need for reassurance, talking excessively about problems, being jealous, too much self-absorption....the list goes on and that puts a strain on the relationship.  

If you have a partner with low self-esteem, you might experience all of this..Do you want your wife nagging you about how she looks and constantly comparing herself to others?  Or getting extremely angry at the sight of you talking to another woman?  Or always being sad when you two can't even have fun? Even if you do comfort her, a partner with low self-esteem will never be satisfied and will find something to feel bad about

Answer 10

Someone with low self esteem is generally unhappy with themselves. While they may be more pliable and submissive, it would probably not make for a long lasting relationship.

Self esteem can change. As soon as she starts to feeling better about herself, you won't be happy with her any longer.

The question you should ask yourself is why you want to be with someone who is unhappy with themselves.

Answer 11

Tasha, said it perfectly.

Well, if a women has low self-esteem, shes not going to make a great partner,because she has no confidence.

You sound selfish and shallow, you don't seem to care weather shes appreciates herself or not,as long as shes a good partner.

Answer 12

If you can't love, respect AND take care of yourself adequately then you definitely can't love, respect AND take care of another person.

People with low self-esteem are clingy, needy, over sensitive and over emotional. None of the qualities make a good partner or I at least have yet to meet someone who thinks they are good qualities.

Confidence is an attractive quality in any mate. Confidence brings about intelligent and witty conversations but also great s*x.

The only man OR woman who would purposefully get involved with someone who has low self-esteem is only in the relationship to use and abuse. The fact that good self-image is not something you are concerned about tells a lot about you and why you have such a problem with women and really people in general.

This Mike T may be the answer to all your problems.

Answer 13

If you cared enough about her to make her your girlfriend then you should care that she has low self-esteem and you should be encouraging her to feel better about herself. Unless you are completely selfish of course, in which case it wouldn't concern you at all. (Apart from that she might leave you one day for someone who does care about her.)

As for what self-esteem 'brings to the table' > independence, non-neediness, non-clinginess, happiness, confidence, not constantly seeking reassurance, the ability to care as much about your partner as yourself etc.

Edit

Agree with Tasha re (excessively) craving attention from other men and promiscuity too > probably not a good thing if you want a stable relationship. Actually Tasha's answer is spot on.

Answer 14

have they hav low self esstteem they'll feel insecure about their body and only look at their flaws while having s*x not the enjoyment of the s*x.

Answer 15

A women or man that has a healthy sense of self-worth can bring a bounty of positive input into the relationship. A person with a can-do attitude can weather the storms that are inevitable in human relations.

Life can be tough. A centered partner can be leaned on when necessary, she/he won't crumble easily. They won't be easily manipulated, therefore you know that they can hold their own in the face of adversity.

A person with low self-esteem will question their own judgement and second-guess themselves, for fear of making the wrong choices. IMHO, a person with confidence and fortitude would have the wherewithal to work towards common goals as a couple. It's a win-win situation.

Answer 16

Then you must be thinking in terms of 'great s*x partner', rather than just 'great partner'. This is the usual short-term relationship approach.

You can't demand logical answers from a question with no logical basis. Don't misuse the word logic; reasonable answers or sensible answers is enough.

Answer 17

Low self esteem means she's unhappy. If you want that, well, you're a lousy partner.

Answer 18

Well, Mike, it's like this . . . if I was to be a person of low self-esteem I wouldn't be able to locate that self-worth image that is so vital to the total balance of the equilibrium and thus can cause yourself to falter in your pursuit of daily ambitions.  Should you actively seek a partner of low self-esteem, as you admitted you are attracted to, you may find the need to be more focused and more aware of where to look for these partners. I often recommend close-by places to the home as this will cut the consumption of fossil fuels as well as save law enforcement entities from dreaded duty of arresting and jailing you for DUI.

Answer 19

You are only 24, that is why I will not react to the statements you've made here. You simply don't know better. Now, females with self esteem issues have absolutely no life, so while in a relationship with you, they will assume your life instead. She will live in your pocket, and you will be forced to live in hers. She will quickly become possessive over your time and space, she will have million questions on where, with whom and for how long you have been doing anything and everything. Women like that are incredibly jealous of all of your relationships past, present and future. They are obsessively clingy, because without you in her life there is no reason for living. She will remind you of that fact every single time you will try to get rid of her, BTW. And you will be trying to get her out of your life as soon as you possibly can, because no matter how wonderful her house keeping skills are, she is a nightmare to live with.

Answer 20

Logical answers only? You wouldn't even be asking this if you had any logic!

Answer 21

The fact that you don't even understand this yourself shows us that yes, you do need to be with someone with low self esteem and no concept of reality.  You need to live in your own little bubble; the fool's bubble.