WHATS YOURE BEST JOKE ?

Question

im fed up with crappy jokes gimme some good ones please

Answer 1

Ms. Jackson was having trouble with one of her first-grade pupils. "Harry,what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My brother is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms. Jackson had had enough, so she took Harry to the headteachers office. The headteacher agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

He started by asking Harry some simple arithmetic questions. "What is three times three?" "Nine, Sir." "How much is nine times six?" "Fifty-four." And so it went with every question the headteacher thought a third-grade student should know. The headteacher looked at Ms. Jackson and said, "I think Harry can go to third grade! He seems smart enough."

Ms. Jackson said to the headteacher, "Let me ask him some questions?" The headteacher and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Jackson asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Harry, after a moment, answered "Legs"

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" "Pockets!"

"OK,what does a dog do that a man steps into?" "Pants."

"What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" "Coconut."

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The headteacher's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge. "Bubblegum!"

"What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" "Shake hands, Ma'am."

"Now for some 'Who am I' sort of questions, OK? First one: You stick your pole inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do." Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!"

"OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." headteacher was looking restless and a bit tense. But Harry was on the ball with "Wedding Ring!"

"I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good." "Nose."

"Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver." "Arrow."

"Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot of heat and excitement?" "Firetruck,Ma'am!"

The headteacher breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"