WHEN IS A GOOD TIME TO HAVE A BABY?

Question

I'm 28 in a good secure job, have my own house and am financially stable. My boyfriend is also 28 with a good job etc.. ive known him my whole life n im totally in love but I am only going out with him 7 months.. he really wants a baby (we have talked about it) n i do too. is this too soon into a relationship to have a child together.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation??

Thanks

Answer 1

you dont need to be married!

if u & your boyfriend have discussed & decided its what you really want then go ahead :]

good luck!

Answer 2

ive just had a baby and I'm not married and i don't think marriage is a necessity when you have a baby.  As long as you and your partner are in love and happy, and you can provide for the child, then there is no reason not to.  A baby does strain your relationship a lot, so make sure that your both able to cope with the rough times together (trust me i know!!). Otherwise, as long as your both committed then i don't think there is a time limit on how long you should wait to have a child.  

Answer 3

Sounds good, except that you haven't been dating long. I would definitely wait another 12 months because of this reason. I fell pregnant a few months after I met my husband and to be honest I thought I was so in love and it was fine to have a baby, but now I do wonder if we would still be together if we hadn't had kids. I just feel I should have waited, it takes longer than you think to get to really know someone.

Answer 4

I don't think you need to be married. You sound more than able to be able to support your baby and if you and your boyfriend both agree it's what you want then i don't see why you shouldn't. I had only been with my partner for 6 months before i fell pregnant. It was unplanned but we haven't been happier and we are still together and happy as ever now expecting our 3rd. I think you should go for it if you both want it. Good luck! x

Answer 5

When you feel you are ready, have one. Marriage is not mandatory to have a child. Plenty of people have babies without being married and they turn out to have a great childhood. The only one who can tell you when you are ready is you. And if you are inquiring about babies, than I would say you are ready. Good luck

Answer 6

i agree with the 6th answerer well said.

Answer 7

Do what you think! Sod what we all think! If you wnt one go for it! If you trust his going to be around forever (in a relationship or not) then go for it! Just think you got another 9 mnths after being pregnant to sort out any differenced!!

Answer 8

if you're both mature enough to handle the responsibility of caring for children go ahead. as a test run, volunteer to babysit for a friend's or family member's children when they go out. together you'll find out just how ready you are as a couple to have children. how long you've been in a serious relationship isn't really a factor, its how stable and genuine your relationship is that makes the difference. My fiance and I were best friends for a year before starting a relationship, and I got pregnant the first time we had s*x (he pulled out). We're strong and spending the rest of our lives together, I have a little guy from a previous relationship that was 2yrs long, so believe me, length of relationship does not determine your readiness, neither does your financial situation. though it IS best to wait til you can afford it! lol. If you two are able to care for children, and are good at compromising, and share the same values and beliefs, you are probably in a compatible family relationship.

Answer 9

if you BOTH feel that you are ready for a baby emotionally and financially then do it.  Just remember that you cant send them back so if circumstances were too change you would have a baby/child in the equation to think about, and though children are very rewarding they are also extremely  stressful so as a couple you would have to cope with the enormous strain and upheaval that this little bundle is likely to bring.  That said i dont really think anyone is "ready" for a baby.

Good luckx

Answer 10

Hey, if you want to have a baby that is totally up to you.

You do not have to be married in order to have a baby!

However I would say that it would be better if you were in a relationship, which you are.

You say that your in a secure job, with your own home etc... that is more than some people can offer a child, so I'd say go for it, but, maybe wait just a bit longer. 7 months isn't all that long, enjoy time together as a couple before becoming parents so soon. It will be better in the long run. I wish you all the best!

I'm expecting thumbs down, but I do not believe you need to be married first!! I'm sorry, but that's my opinion!

Answer 11

i think that if you both of you would like a baby then go for it. its your lives and if you want one then go you! good luck xox

Answer 12

If you both feel ready, financially secure, have a good relationship, then any time is a good time. You have your own house, I'm assuming you have a car as well. If you wanna go that route, can you afford to take the time off work? I think any time sounds like a good time to me, and you're right about marriage, plus then if you do decide to get married, your kid can be the flower girl/ring bearer!

I don't think its too soon since you've known him so long.

Maybe you could try casually, without really TRYING and let fate run its course. Eventually you will have a baby, maybe not right away, but within the next couple years :) (Plus, gives you time to scout out sales on baby necessities and stock up on diapers and things when they are cheap!)

Just make sure you have a nice little financial reserve to support you and the baby while you take time off work (or to pay for daycare)

Answer 13

I have a girl in her class who is stupid enough to brag that she was a baby at her parents' wedding. All the kids in my class think that's really weird. Don't do it! Get married first.

Answer 14

Marriage doesn't have to be costly.  WEDDINGS are costly-not marriage!  Don't have a wedding and go to your Courthouse.  You are thinking of commiting to a baby together, but you are afraid to commit to marriage vows?  

Answer 15

I have felt the same in the past with a partner but then we broke up and in retrospect I am so glad that we decided to wait to have a baby because otherwise it would have been very upsetting.

You may think that you are ready - and you might be - but i think it would be good advice to have a cooling period of say year to be absolutely sure. If you felt that sure now you wouldn't be on yahoo answers asking strangers about what would be best.

You need to make sure that you and your partner are in it long -term but you are so new you haven't yet had to overcome struggles together (your relationship hasn't really been tested) having a baby will test you both to the maximum and so it's important that you find out first how well you can support each other when times are rough - or failing that give it a bit of time for the honeymoon period to settle before making a big decision.

Answer 16

It sounds to me that you would be able to provide a great start in life for a little one. We were talking about having children early on as well but decided to wait a few years. We hadn't known each other for long before we got together like you however. I don't think it would have mattered that much for us which ever decision we would have taken though, life is full of surprises and there is no perfect time or situation to have children since things can easily change.

Regarding Marriage:

I wouldn't worry about marriage if that isn't important to you. While I think it is a nice tradition it doesn't have to have anything do with the decision of having children. In many countries the legal differences between a cohabiting couple and a married couple are very small. The divorce rates in many countries show that it is no guarantee for securing your partnership anyway.

Answer 17

only you can answer that one.  

Answer 18

If you are asking this now you are ready, you have your house your man and your job so you will both be financially secure, a piece of paper saying u are married will not make any difference. If you continually analyse when the best time is life will pass you by. Good luck, life has no guarantees but I'm sure you will make a very good mommy.All the best

Answer 19

Being financially stable is great - most people are selfish and don't wait until they are so.

You might love him, but do you feel like you really know him and how he'd be as a father?

A good time would also be after you are married, just because it provides more security. I wish I had two parents growing up, so just be sure that he will be a good father AS WELL as being with you, it's more important than you could ever know

Answer 20

"Marriage is costly"?? Not nearly as costly as children, not nearly as costly as getting pregnant to "the love of your life" and then not stayng together. Getting married cements commitment. If it doesn't last forever, which is sad but not uncommon in today's society, at least you'd feel like you know you have a solid, genuine relationship to start, and a child needs that just as much as any money you might save from not having a wedding. By the way, a wedding doesn't need to cost all that much, either.

However, your question is when is a good time to have a child. The answer is different for everyone. You say how you feel about him, but we don't know how he feels about you, other than he wants a baby. What does he feel about the relationship? What does he see as his job/ responsibility with a baby? You're in a good job, but you'll have to go on leave for at the very least, a few weeks. Do you have enough money to handle that? How long do you want to stay home? Can you handle that? Can he?

The amount of time you've been with him isn't the issue, and neither, in the end, is whether you are married to him or not. It's whether in the time that you HAVE been together, that you've been emotionally and mentally and intellectually mature, honest (including with yourself) and realistic. If you can answer all of that to your honest, genuine satisfaction, then the time is right. But make sure your partner feels the same way and can answer those questions the same way you can.

Whatever you decide, good luck and God bless! Kids are a wonderful blessing.

Answer 21

anytime good im rhink about it but no insurance

Answer 22

If you and you boyfriend want to have a child then you have every right to have a child together.

You do not have to be married that will not make any difference to a baby. If they two parents that love each other that is what matters not a ring on your finger and a piece off paper

Answer 23

You may think marrage is costly but chilren are FOREVER!One may never "afford" to have a child, if people waited till they could it would be a quiet world without much joy.And marrage is just a peice of paper.Even if you do it before God.Trust me when he starts getting on your last nerve in 5 to 10 years even Christ Himself wont hold you back from sighing devorce papers.

Answer 24

theres no point in asking anyone here if nows the right time to have a baby,no one on here knows you so they cant tell you what to do with your life,you will know yourself when you feel ready

Answer 25

My partner and I had only been together 8 months before getting pregnant- we only decided to try as i had been told i had fertility problems and we assumed it would take us so long to get pregnant, we'd have the chance to get more settled/more money etc first. It worked for us, but we were lucky. I do regret not having more 'us' time before we suddenly had an extra person to consider. I'd advise giving some more time to enjoy each other.

Answer 26

I can go from my experience - my husband and I were married for 10 yrs and then decided to have a baby . I was 33 at the time and glad we waited . We had purchased a house , his business was stable and I had a great job .

Really though - you are the only one that can determine whether it is  time to start a family . I also do agree with your statement that you do not have to be married to have a child - you 2 have known each other for along time . This is a decision that you and your boyfriend can only make :)

Good luck to you :)

Answer 27

Get married first then have a baby.

Answer 28

As soon as you can afford to have one without the taxpayer getting stuck with the bill.

.

Answer 29

you both sound like your ready (it doesn't matter if your married!!!)

Go for it!!!!!!!!!

Answer 30

If you both want a child together, get married. Your not getting any younger it's a good time to get pregnant.

Answer 31

you do what makes you happy a baby is lifes greatest blessing i am 34 weeks pregnaunt and very happy