I have always watched TV and have been annoyed when the public service announcements come on and tell people that if they smoke pot, they will become horribly addicted, do insane things that they will regret, and die of horrible diseases.
WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN?
I was at the beach yesterday when I walked past several teenagers smoking marijuana, and thinking nothing of it, I walked through the soft cloud of smoke. The instant that the second hand pot entered my nostrils, I became horribly addicted, and killed all of them for their pot. Unfortunately, since it is such a horrible gateway drug, I had to immediately go find some crack, smack, hard tack to fill my urges. I began to go to parties and danced naked with ugly people while others took videos and posted them online where all of my friends at school saw them.
I beat my grandmother, tried to have s*x with my cat, spat on my brother, contracted several life threatening diseases, stole seven cars, and tried to assasinate Lincoln before I realized that it was just a guy with a big hat.
People, take my story as an example. Pot KILLS. Pot RAPES. Pot STEALS. Pot WILL LEAD YOU TO A LIFE OF HORRIBLE CRIME.
The anti-drug ads were all telling the truth.
If you will all excuse me, the gang that I just joined wants me to kill some babies.
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