WHY HAVE s*x AND STILL DIVORCE?

Question

We are in the middle of a divorce, (one I don't want) with a 53 page iron clad pre-nup... he is wealthy, i'm not. We had full custody if his three kids which I raised for 16 years, and have been married for the last seven. He tells me he still loves me and probably always will. I know he is suffering as well. I can tell he misses me, he calls frequently. He invites me back to the house whenever the kids aren't home..and I cant help myself... arghh..now he is asking me to drive 2hrs to the beach where he will be for a golf tournament, telling me he will be alone there the first night and would love to take me out to dinner and then fulfill all my desires.. am I an idiot? Could he really just be using me for s*x?? He says he truly loves me, he just can not live with me. (We have different habits) I am losing my self worth quickly but am terrified of losing the only family I have known for 16 years.. any opinions?

Answer 1

come on, if the s*x is good, why even in a divorce would he want to give that up?  don't do it!!!

Answer 2

By iron clad pre nup, I take it he is paying you substantially.

This one is not hard to figure out:  He  wants what he thinks he's paying for.  It's not love, honey - it's prostitution.

You need to get into counseling and learn to develop your own life.  No reason to give up the kids, but a counselor will  help you put all that time behind you and move on.

Answer 3

It seems to me he wants to have his cake and eat it to, and you're serving it to him on a silver platter.  If he can't live with you, why not?...Is he seeing someone else?  I think if he wants to spend time with you, he should have to at least throw out the prenup.  Seems like a guy who is used to getting what he wants.

Answer 4

Your answer lies within your own words there. You say "I am losing my self worth quickly". What you are going through is very difficult and really tugs on all of your emotions, but you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. Good Luck and take care of YOU!

Answer 5

If he can't live with you honey, you should not be giving up your cookies. Period. Have some self respect.  If he loved you, there would be no divorce. It speaks volumes that he wants you to jump through hoops for him and drive two hours just so he can bang you after dinner. Ick.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, he is just using you for s*x.  

If he "loves" you so much then he would do whatever it took to get back together with you and be happy with you, starting with voiding that pre-nuptial agreement.

On a side note....anyone who requires a pre-nuptial agreement is someone to avoid at all cost--they are selfish beyond belief.

Answer 7

I think you should read each of these answers, they are unnanimous in the belief that you are being controled and used. Pre-nup, s*x on stand-by, alone only the first night so you need to take a number?He doesn't love you. He loves that he can bang you out when he wants without giving up anything. He's wealthy so you are obviously attractive because no wealthy man ops for an ugly woman. Move on kid...

Answer 8

He wants the best of both worlds. I know it's easy to run to him, but I'd suggest running in the opposite direction. You said he was rich. With wealth comes power and the ability to get what he wants. Make yourself something money can't buy and get on with your life. You'd be surprised how many men would like you for who you are. If you think he's just using you for s*x, you've already answered your own question. If he loved you as much as he says he does, how does that work itself into a divorce? You won't lose your family, just him!

Answer 9

Perhaps he does still care about you. But, I think in the end you're going to just feel worse about the situation if you go. You did a h**l of alot by raising his kids and becoming the mother figure and this is how you're repaid? I think if you really love each other you both could compromise on some things and make it work. but, while you're separated, i'd say no to any hanky panky. JMO

Answer 10

I think he truly loves you because he wants to spend time with you isntead of being with all these cheap single women.

See, he prefers you....just doesn't like the cage called marriage.

Answer 11

since he has money, he has learned to take control of situations.. he has taken control of you.. it started with the pre-nup.. if he wants to "hook up", have him drive to you.. he is using his wealth to lure you in.. you need to stand up for your self.. you need to say no to him until he/ya'll decide what you want to do... if you have different habits, learn to deal with them... that is life, compromise... we all seem to believe if we are not carbon copies of each other, we need to get a divorce because we are too different.. we are different.. people are different.. that is what makes a marriage strong, having strength in all areas... that is why a curve is stronger than a straight line, comes from different angles... not just one...  

Answer 12

I agree with Marina. If you're not good enough to live with him then he shouldn't expect anything else from you either. Tell him to sh*t or get off the pot.