WHY? My five year old girl often comes home head down and tell me she got zero.

Question

I didn't take it seriously and I don't want to put pressure on her studies I just ignore it and tell her that. It's OK. I checked her workbook and sit works and i found out that she is just doing fine. She even got perfect scores. So when she told me again that she did get zero I told her to be better next time.It's ok because she looks like sad. One time when she was telling me about her zero score I look at her in the eyes becoz I know she is not telling the truth. TODAY is her first quarter exam and again he come home from school head bowed and told me she gets zero. Why is she telling me stories like this when it's NOT happening. I ask her again and again and she smiles and sad again..trying to convince me that he gets zero. By the way I am sure she' not getting zero. She is fair student. At this young age.. why she is telling me this. Any comment? advice ?

Answer 1

You need to talk to her teachers. Something is not adding up here. She is waaayyyyy too young for this kind of anxiety provoking educational environment.

Answer 2

She may be trying to get your sympathy.  If you gave her alot of attention when she said she recieved a zero, she might be trying to get more of it, especially if she has siblings.  Or, since she has apparently just started school, she may be trying to convince you she's no good at it and you should pull her out of it.  I remember telling my mom similar lies at that age.  If she tells you this again, try telling her, "No you didn't silly!  You got (insert score here) which is really good!  Aren't you clever?" or something like that.  Instead of telling her it's OK to get zeros, tell her that it's good she's scoring so well.

Answer 3

well she's looking for a little attention even though you're  yelling at her sister she thinks thats a good thing just to have you care sit her down and tell her how lying is bad  

Answer 4

=B maybe anyone scold her to do that?

=B you can meet her teacher and ask if she has any problem at school?

=B don't worry.. i know that she is an intelligent girl

Answer 5

I would call her bluff. Next time say "I'm really concerned if you got a zero. I'll make an appointment for us to talk to your teacher." That might convince her to tell you the truth.

At age 5, lying is quite common. They're still young enough to think that telling whatever they want to get the outcome they want is okay and no one will catch on. Once caught in a lie, they don't want to disappoint by admitting it and it becomes a vicious cycle that neither of you can win.

You might also try just ignoring it when she says she got a zero (if you know for SURE it's not true). Just walk away or reply calmly "Really?" and don't discuss it. If it doesn't get her any attention, she may quit. Meanwhile, be sure to praise her and give her attention when she's doing well. It may be just an odd phase she'll outgrow.  

Answer 6

Two thoughts - Little girls can be over dramatic.  Look at what she does during dress up time.  Princesses, Barbie and the like should point you in the right direction.  To change her behavior, why don't you go to a teacher supply store or even Target and pick up a workbook to help her "study."  Extra work never hurt anyway.  It's a proper response to her "need" and may alleviate the attention-hunger she has for her school work.  

Answer 7

I agree with much of what has been said already.

Kindergarten children are very much into being concerned about what MAY happen and they also work things out through "dramatic play".  So take that into consideration.

Also, you mentioned the older sibling being nagged on about grades/scores... that's probably the key.  No offense meant by this next question...but do think seriously about it.  Does your Kindergartener not get as much "attention" as your eldest?  Is Sped...special educaiton classes?  Typically I find that families that have a child with special needs require a little more "attention/prompting/refocusin" than a typically developing child.  Maybe your 5 year old is feeling "left out" and this is one way she's trying to get a little more attention.  Remember with young children...any attention...positive or negative is better than none, in their mind.  Take a couple steps back and look at the whole picture.  Maybe you can set some positive attention time aside for your Kindergartener.  

Answer 8

One of the reasons that people speak out so much against grades, especially in the early years.  What she is doing is presenting an anxiety about testing, grades, etc. that should not happen at an early age.  I would suggest entirely switching schools and finding a more developmentally appropriate setting.

What she is communicating is not what happened, but what she fears will happen.  It is perfectly normal at this age.

Answer 9

I think she's trying to tell you that she is very worried about doing well and pleasing you. Schools have no business putting 5 year olds under this kind of grade pressure. Try ignoring the whole thing and not even asking. Ask about the other parts of school. Who did she play with? Did they have Art or Music? What part of school was the most fun today? And try not having those conversations with your older daughter in front of her.

Answer 10

hmmm... maybe she likes you telling her that she is doing a good job. I am sure that she loves hearing it because her sister is not getting the same praise. I would say just keep praising her when she does a good job and maybe just explain to her what a zero really is. Maybe she thinks that doing good is a zero... Perhaps the older sister told her to not do a good job because all you get are zeros. Maybe the older one is jelous of her grades and just tells her that her grades are still really bad no matter what you or her teacher are telling her... Maybe have a talk with both of them.