Question:

WHY do women often LET THEMSELVES GO after getting married?

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Again on the radio this morning I heard a woman saying "If you love someone you should love them no matter what and its wrong to divorce someone because of weight gain".

The topic was re-nups where men would make the woman sign that she cannot gain significant weight in the marriage and if she DOES its grounds for divorce. THEN the woman from the radio station says... "I would need 5 million from my husband to stay in shape 12 years into the marriage".

WHY WHY WHY do women think its ok to get fat and sloppy once they get married? It seems that when women are single, they try their best to stay in shape even after having kids.

But once married, theres this attitude of "I have a man, so I don't have to do any more work now." WRONG.

The TRUTH is that whatever attracted your man is PROBABLY the same thing that keeps him around.

OPINIONS please....

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  1. I agree with you Mike, but i don't know what the percentages are. I do know some women are afraid of gaining weight with pregnancy and not being able to lose it...conversely i also know women who use pregnancy as an excuse to gain weight (ie: I'm eating for 2).

    Just a wild guess but i think the ones who don't think its important to stay fit and slim may believe that for their husbands sexual desire simply requires they be around...which is going to backfire when their husband gets hit on the by the hot skinny chick at work...I've seen this happen and the women i work with have said "can't blame him, i've seen his fat wife, easy decision". So its not like women aren't aware of the visual nature of male sexuality but I'm convinced some want to live in a fantasy where THEY get to decide what their men find attractive.


  2. isn't there a better category for nonsense questions like this--

    A "relationship" category or something like that?

  3. Reply to additional details:It's the only way to get a man

    Why don't men EVER care about there appearence

  4. The truth is that eople when single try and attract people, but when you get married you realise that he really does love you for who you are. And when people have children if they are good parents then they put their children first and don't obsess with vanity like they did.

    The irony is you think that these women are wrong to think they havet their man and he loves them. You think that the men will run off.

    But are you happily married? Nope...the reqason is that you are obsessed with looks and vanity and hold such a low opinon of people in general.

  5. Women "let themselves go" due to the stress and backbreaking work that comes with being married. The typical married woman has a job outside the home, does the majority (if not all) of the housekeeping, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, general errands, child care, and management of family events and holiday events. Added to that is pregnancy and childbirth, management of home decor, at least half (if not more) of the flowers and landscaping maintenance, and managing medical and dental appts. for the children and herself. Have I left anything out?

    Men can't "make" a woman sign a re-nup and there is no way she should unless that re-nup includes an agreement by the husband to perform AT LEAST half of all the duties listed above. The duties he already performs would continue since he should compensate for not enduring pregnancy and birth. If he refuses this arrangement, some wives may wish to give him the option of paying her the market rate for her family responsibilites. That would be $68K per year for the extra work she does (if she also works outside the home) or $116, 805 per year (if she is a stay-at-home mom). See link below.

    So, you see, it is not that women think "I have a man, so I don't have to do any more work now". WRONG!! It is more accurately stated as "I have a man, so I have to do much more work now and staying in shape is not at the top of that long, long, long list of new reponsibilities."

    The TRUTH is that whatever attracted a man is low on her list when she finds out how very little he is willing to help her when the honeymoon period is over. Apparently, it has not occurred to you that a man, however physically fit, is much less attractive to his wife if he continues to push more than half of the family duties onto her.


  6. This is a problem both married men and women experience.

    When we are single and in our prime, our ultimate goal is to be fit and look good because we are trying to attract the best mate.

    Once we land that mate, fall in love, get married and have children we start becoming comfortable. Instead of 7 am trips to the gym, parents are running their kids to school and grabbing that mocha latte with the extra shot of expresso and a cheese danish for breakfast. At the end of the day, instead of playing some ball with friends or going dancing at a club, couples are putting the kids to sleeping and relaxing on the couch for a couple of hours before bed.

    For some reason it's often the natural way relationships progress. We get comfortable, we eat more, we dress up less, etc.

    Many men and women believe, "well I've already landed them so my hard work is over."

    For others it's not because they want to let themselves go, it's because they don't have enough time and energy in a day to be concerned with going to the gym for an hour and they often have to eat on the run (which usually results in lots of fast food consumption)

    Some people don't think this is a problem. Bald heads, pot bellies, thunder thighs, etc. some people truly do love each other for what they are.

    Others, well I guess they need a pre-nup so they can have their cake and eat it too. I think that sounds a bit extreme to me. You're in a marriage, not coaching a ballet dancer.

    Personally, I think both people should make an effort to look good for each other. It helps keep the spark in a relationship but gaining a couple of pounds or not dressing up every day isn't that big of a deal to me.

  7. Your screwy as h**l if you actually think that most women wouldn't want to look good no matter what her relationship status is. I will always want to be attractive, however I would never sign one of those silly papers. Its like saying he will only love me if I stay this way forever, I guess that means if he loses his job and goes broke (since men always act like it about money for a woman) she should feel free to leave him? My friends husband fell off a roof, he does nothing but sit at their house while she works, it's been 4 months and he can't even have s*x unless she's on top. She loves him so she stays. Those silly things basically say- I don't love you and will not stand by you in hard times.

    If he'd leave because of weight gain, he'll leave because of anything. Cancer? See ya. Car accident and she gets badly hurt? See ya. Seizers? See ya. Bad things happen everyday, I want someone who will be loyal, like me.

  8. Men do that as well.

  9. Because they snatched a hubby and they know if he replaces her for younger they still get money.  

  10. um, my husband has gained 20 pounds and went bald and I still think he's the sexiest man alive. that's why we're married.

  11. Metabolism changes as you get older.  Men and women.  We all put on a bit of weight.  Generally men tend to do more manual labour and therefore get a bit more exercise so they may hang on a little longer or gain a little less.

    Also, kids are expensive so in order to pay for hockey, soccer, dance etc.  women do without themselves.  The amount I spend on clothes and make up compared to when I was single has decreased dramatically but we've always had enough for steak and beer on the weekend.

    Being beautiful all the time is a lot of work and it's expensive.  Sometimes it's not a matter of "LET THEMSELVES GO" it's a matter of "PRIORITIES".

  12. Same reason men do.  

  13. Sometimes as was in my case, you end up with a control freak for a husband that wont let you be who you were when you met and there is nothing left but the refridgerator with its open loving door and its "Oh make me feel good" food inside. Then there are in some cases, tho rare, when a woman just thinks she is in a marriage and her man will love her no matter what, and vice versa as others have said, men do it just as often. Since kicking out the control freak, I have gone from: before marriage size 10, during marriage size 22 and 4 kids, and now that I control me I am a size 6  and have been with my new (younger) man for going on 2 yrs.  

  14. because they can!

  15. I think people become "comfortable" in their relationship and all of the niceties that attracted us die off.  

    I know that for me, my body has changed over the course of my previous relationship    (I have 6 children and I have aged by 12 years) but I have always  maintained my physical appearance to show that I respect him and myself.

    People letting themselves go isn't only physical, but  the way they behave also changes.  I continued to do all of the nice things I did before our marriage.

    I think it's a show of respect that certain...um...bodily functions...be kept private.  

    It is kind of a "bait and switch" thing, I guess.  They put on a false front in attempts to get the man(or woman) and then show their true colors once they have caught them.

  16. h**l, I let myself go YEARS AGO - WELL before getting married.  In fact if there were an Olympic sport for LETTING MYSELF GO I would be up there on that podium, with my gold medal clutched tightly to my saggy baby spew t-shirt, low slung tracky dacks, right now singing my heart out for Australia.  

    DEAL with it.

  17. For exactly the same reason why some married men don't care about their appearance after marriage. They are so fat that some women must feel like they are having s*x with a space hopper, some probably actually PREFER having s*x with the space hopper! ;-)

  18. Considering that the evidence shows that men are more likely to be obese than women - make sure you sign one of those prenups also.    

    Would you really want to destroy an otherwise happy relationship and maybe destroy your children's security because a a few pounds.    

  19. I don't know why it wouldn't go both ways?

    Husband and Wife should both try to stay in shape, not only to be attractive to one another, but for health reasons as well.

    Putting it in writing though? grounds for divorce? that just sounds like overkill to me, like maybe you're getting married for all the wrong reasons.

      

  20. Both genders do this.

    But you know, some people do continue to exercise and watch their diets throughout their lives.   And even when they do, their bodies change due to age, circumstances (injury, pregnancy)  or metabolic conditions (thyroid disorder, diabetes).

    Remember, the radio show's purpose is to entertain...

    the whole idea of weight control in a pre-nup is absurd... but I bet the show got decent ratings.

    This idea of yours that women think it's ok to get fat and sloppy once they are married is another of your skewed perceptions about women, and in this case you are ignoring the frequency with which it happens in men as well.    

  21. exactly what Robert G said,nailed it!  

    And I think if that sort of thing worries a person it is clear indication that they are not ready for a commitment let alone marriage,because a whole heap of stuff can go wrong not just weight gain,so you need stay power my friend........like the song says are you man enough to be my man.  or woman

  22. I'm in my late 40s and have been married for 26 years. Of course I'm not going to look the same as I did when I married at the age of 23. Even though I weigh close the same as I did then, I don't look like the same person I was 26 years ago.

  23. Someone told me a joke once. It goes something like this.

    What's the difference between single women and married women?

    I don't know, what?

    Single women come home, look and see what's in the fridge then go to bed.

    Married women come home, look and see what's in the bed then go to the fridge.

  24. It can be a number of reasons.

    Some believe since they are married now that her "man" per say will stay with her even if she gained weight. So they think they don't have to beatify themselves anymore.

    Sometimes it's from having babies and not having time to peal off weight.

    And the famous one that makes people feel pity for them "you should love me no matter what" thing. Blah blah blah. Oh lord that is bull c**p.

    Call me a b***h but I believe if you get married beautiful make an effort to stay that way. If you have a babie, strap that babie on you back and work out! Stay attractive no excuses. What is so hard on doing your hair and working out at home women...

  25. If the man loves her enough to marry her, her appearance will become the least of his priorities. As people develop a relationship, that's exactly what happens. Even you've said that personality is what counts in a relationship.

  26. You put your mind to it you can do just about anything.

    after I had my 5th I was up to 185 from there with dedication and hard work I got down to 125, recently I gained a bit of weight, and I'm working on getting back down to 125 I'm 5'6.  It can be done.  You just have to do it.  Of course it won't be easy, but challenges are good; they motivate us.

  27. Stress. Unhappy, besides the things you already mentioned. Just like man by the way. Dont say its good though. At least take care of yourself even if you gained weight, you should love yourself. Dress nice and get a nice haircut, it already makes a difference in the world.  

  28. I gained about 15lbs after i started dating my wife! Ahh the joys of pressure being off

    A lot of women gain weight after they get married because they get pregnant andtheirr bodies add it on fortheirr benefit as well as the babies, then once they have the baby its extremely hard, because of both time constraints and biology, to loose that weight

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