WHY oh why is "it" always the guy's fault???

Question

I'm serious ya'll, nothing gets to me as a Husband and future father more than seeing all these women on here blaming the men in their lives for EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING WRONG.

Do any women on here agree with me??

Guys what do you think???? Aren't you sick of this?? Don't you want to tell them to take some RESPONSIBILITY???

This is a serious question, too, I am not ranting. I really want to know some honest and true opinions on this.

Part B to this would be the "gold diggers" out there who run their soon to be x-husbands through divorce/child custody battles, ONLY to cheat the "system" for money and cheat the spouse out of a relationship with the kids...

Positive, Productive, and Polite feedback is respectfully requested...

Thanks..

Answer 1

wow, did u just get into a fight with your ex-wife over custody for your kids?

Answer 2

Someone is has really hurt you sweetie and you are taking your problems out on the wrong people! It is going to be okay Life is not over, so stop with the bitterness, and resentment. Let it go someone out there is better for you. Just because one woman made you suffer don't compare and take that out on all the rest! Good Luck on life and finding another true love if your heart isn't worn out!

Answer 3

Dude - you have a d*ck - therefore.... you are ALWAYS wrong !!!  Haven't you learned that yet?

Women's lib, Oprah, and a F'd up family court system has set up marriage as a loosing proposition for men.

I love my wife to death and everything is pretty good in my marriage and I can honestly say if I knew at age 24 what I now know at age 37, I would NEVER have gotten married!

I know varying degrees of couples, some the men are wonderful to their wives, others the guy is a complete jerk.  However, the common denominator is how DISATISFIED the wife is with their husband on an ongoing basis !!!  Why is this?  Because our western society's pendulum of equality was tilted towards the man for so long..... now it has swung back past center and is squarely on the side of women !!!  They KNOW it and they EXPLOIT it !!

Women have been raised to EXPECT that they can have it all.  They should have a career, be a mother, have perfect children, AND have a partner that does "his fare share" (defined by the woman), while at the same time he is providing for the family / etc....

Women have ALSO been raised in the post-feminist times that make them feel like they are not a COMPLETE woman if they do not have all of this !!!  That is the falacy - it is not possible to "have it all.....".  But to admit this is to admit failure as a woman!  When they fall short of this imagined "perfection", they either have to blame themselves, OR take it out on their spouse.

Men's roles really haven't changed.... you grow up, you learn a trade / get an education, maybe get married and then go out in the world and provide......

This is what men do, but the women WANT more !!!  When a guy can't deliver it - they are faced with a woman who thinks, "h**l - I'll divorce him, take 1/2 the stuff, get the kids, plus get $$ from him....."  "I can do it on my own...."

Thanks to a F'd up family court system.... the woman gets the kids, the house, 1/2 the assets (often times more), alimony.  She also gets to use visitation as a weapon to keep the ex in-line or get more $$ whenever she sees fit.

If she doesn't make enough money, she gets public assistance to put the kids in daycare while she works.....  the government actually advocates divorce by providing state subsidies to single women with children !!  I'm not saying they don't deserve it, but it makes it THAT much easier to give up on a marriage, if you KNOW the public assistance is there to catch you.

Bottom line - there is very little (if any) interdependancy on the opposite s*x (spouse).  Therefore - the constant threat of "give me what I want.... even if its unreasonable - or I'll leave you and take the kids and your $$"  looms over men.

The funny part is that many of the injustices the women's lib movement fought to correct in society now effectively place males in the same subservent role women faced in the 1940's and 50's.

Guess the guys or the new millineum are just paying for the sins of our Grandfathers......

I get offended by it - but what can you DO about it.

I for one - will encourage my sons to NOT marry !!!  Its a risk not worth taking for men any longer.

Answer 4

I hate gold diggers and women that blame men for all their problems. But also I have found men are usually at fault, well for cheating!

I have been married 3 times and I am only 31. My husbands have all cheated. This newest one here was innocent, a virgin who had never even had a real gf before me- but yet I still caught him online looking at p**n and trying to find other girls to have cyber s*x with. How is that my fault, as a woman?

Answer 5

I do agree that most women blame the man for things that they should of seen coming or something that they started and didn't expect the the man to react in a certain way.  Sometimes women tend to exaggerate a point to make it seems like the man did something wrong but yet do not want to tell you what they said or did to the guy. It's called being immature.  Yes, I do believe these women need to take responsible for their action in the relationship because it do takes two.  But it is easier to blame someone else because you don't want to look in the mirror and realize that the problem is you.  Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I totally agree.

I think it may be partly the kind of people who choose to come onto Yahoo Answers. I also think it is because our society encourages the 'victim' mentality: if anything in our lives goes wrong, it is because somebody is to blame. And that somebody is usually our nearest and dearest!

I have made my own choices in life and I, and I alone, am answerable for them.

(Although, funnily enough, whenever anything went wrong during my married life, I was to blame. My ex would say, 'And you know who I blame, Clio? I blame you.' Sometimes he made a joke out of it and sometimes he was deadly serious. It got to the point where the kids would chorus: "He blames you, mummy!" The joke wore thin eventually.)

Answer 7

Quite a few men are really good fathers, and I've seen some be better equipped than the mothers ever dared be.  I think things should be more fair, and agree that our legal system is full of bs when it comes to equality and children.  

Answer 8

I agree with aa889d

Society has changed and now the feminist agenda is to make men useless pigs. It's a real shame. I often wonder why man bother to get married when there is so much hostility towards them these days. I see a lot of women who contribute nothing yet somehow think they're "divas, princesses and goddess"-- and they have the t-shirt too.

Answer 9

You are 100% correct.

It's actually quite simple.  It's easier to blame someone else!!!

So take a young woman, she can go to college, get a real major that is worth something, and work on a career.  Or the lazy route, she can get married, knocked up (not always in that order), and be a stay at home mom.  Then when she's tired of that she can divorce the guy and play the victim and talk about what all she's given up for him. Then collect an insane amount of alimony and child support. The reality is she was too lazy for school and work, so she used a man as a 401k and cashed out as soon as she was fully vested.

Answer 10

Well what you see on here is mostly women lashing out, as they are angry about something some guy did.  While they guy may or may not really be the problem, the anger and hurt is still there, and answers gives them a forum to complain about.

As far as responsibility goes, this is america, and in america we have fostered the attitude of  "it's always someone elses fault" no one wants to be the reason something failed.  Heck we even take this logic further in america, we find reasons to blame a serial killers actions on his family, society, and just about anything else but the person that actually does the act.

As far as the women here on answers go, i don't think any of them have ever stopped to consider that men do not think at all like women do, but yet expect us men to react to them and talk to them the way they think a woman would react and talk to them.   When we don't, we become bad men that just do everything wrong.  I honestly believe that if these women actualy ever took a good honest try at understanding the way men actually are and the way we think and communicate there would be a whole lot less unhappy women here.  

I too have often found myself ready to strangle some of these women.  So many of these issues that they bring up and harp on are down right emotionally and mentally abusive to the men in their relationship.  Too often it reminds me of the stuff i had to go through with my wife, thankfully we've managed to work through and solve most of our problems.

On the gold diggers, thats the worst bunch of them.  Other then being petty and trying to get revenge on their ex's, it escapes me how these women can justify demanding that their husbands support and pay for their lifestyles long after the marriage has been ended.  Child support i can understand, however being as it is often abused, i believe a major reform is needed in our child support laws.  I think the woman should have to be held accountable as to where every dollar of it is spent.  I'm not unreasonable here, i know that in a great number of child support cases the amount awarded to the mothers is no where near what it takes to raise a child.

However, lets face it, i also know mothers that have 1 child and the father is paying over $2000/month in child support.  On $2000 a month you can buy a 5 bedroom house, pay all the bills and provide food and a car for 2 people very easily.  And often the mother does that and does nothing but sit at home eating ice cream and watching t.v.  In this sort of case i think that it should be a matter of the courts saying something along the lines of ok it costs you $1000 to support the child, you the wife are responsible for $500 of it each month.  And then the other $1500 of the support each month goes into a trust, that the mother can access only when she can prove a legitimate expense above and beyond everyday living.  Show $300 in clothing receipts for your child, get $150 back.  Child turns 18 whatever is left in the trust should go to help the child get through college instead of having the childs mother squander it by sitting on her but watching  t.v.

Answer 11

I think there is some truth in what you are saying - because most people  will place blame for marital problems on their partner. If everyone was self-aware enough to be conscious of their own personal problems, we wouldn't have the need for counsellors and psychologists.

You do have to take into account that the majority of contributers to the "Marriage and Divorce" section are indeed females, which is going to present a skewed representation. Men blame their partners just as much, they just don't like to "talk it out" on Yahoo Answers.

Answer 12

I have to say some women do need to take the blame and yes you are absolutely right about gold diggers but not all the women are like that and I know your not saying that but I do kind of agree with you froma womens point of view

Congratulations by the way "future father"

Answer 13

i agree. and women get everything! money out of a relationship,custody of kids,even when most men work hard(providing for the family) they boast about "being lazy"  when will men get some justice?

Answer 14

That is because women are very good at going on the offensive and putting the man on the defensive.  If you don't react by becoming defensive and don't act like its your fault (meaning don't apologize or try to justify yourself), the woman will soon stop this behavior because it is no longer working for her.

Answer 15

yea, i agree it for some reason always ends up being the 'guy's' fault!

tho in most my relationships its always been me and my fault!