Wading on in....compress more? ive had to leave last two lines off!?

Question

i looked for you inside my heart as loneliness engulfed me

i said ok Lord you can start and expected you to heal me

i didnt see a lightning bolt or hear a roar of thunder

i figured you just didnt hear and let myself slip under

i looked for you inside the book,

read your verse with rapture

i said ok lord i beleave

please free me from my captor

i didnt feel your mighty force release me from my torment

i resigned myself and let my hopeful heart lie dormant

i looked for you inside the church

the day i woke up crying

i said ok lord here i am

save me from eternal dying

i didnt see a burst of light nor hear a wondrous singing

i assumed that i deserve the h**l that i am feeling

i looked for you so many times

each time despair engulfed me

never even saw you standing right beside me

when i saw how close you stood i said lord be my savior

i wish to walk beside you,live in peace forever

Answer 1

I feel you can leave off the final two you added without any damage.  Live in Peace forever kind of says it all.

Answer 2

Great work - this is beautiful.  Your flow is transfixing. You have a beautiful message to convey and you did it admirably ♥

Answer 3

Wow .  Im speachless.

(Vote me as best answer)

Answer 4

Some of it rhymes and some of it doesn't. It throws off the flow--I also think that too many "I" statements detract from the poem and make it less accessible to other people emotionally