Want my ex girlfriend bk but she's keeps saying no?

Question

Here's my plan I've wrote her loads of love letters and poems before and they haven't worked I'm going to write a letter listing all my good points and admitting I'm not perfect in the same letter. I thought I was a good bf I would pay for meals out buy her loads of gifts, spoil her, I always there for her and was always supportive but I did have my moments when I got paranoid and drunk an d we had arguments but I want her bk here's the storyHey me and my ex girlfriend were together for a year and a half and we did everything together and weren't just bf and gf but we were also best friends. We broke up because of an arguemnt we had at our prom I got drunk and we had a huge fight. Anyway she always said if we ever broke up we must stay friends. We broke up (we've broken up before over stupid things) and she said maybe if 'we 'stay friends we could get bk together' well she said she was over me but got angry and envious when she saw a pic of me on facebook talking to another girl and said we'd never get bk together now and she's with somebody else. But after a few days I rang her up and asked her if she wanted to go to lunch and she agreed and later that day she txted me asking me to go shopping and we went shopping and it was fun and she sent me a txt after saying we should thay more often and arranged to go to the pics but the next day she was saying she's too busy and I that I'm being great but she said she can't forget what happened at the prom and a few days after txting and pleading she told me to 'leave her alone' but if she's over me surely she'd want to hang with me we did bounce of each other do you think she's not over me and that the reason she dosen't want to be friends incase she admits she still has feelings for me or is this just wishful thinking. I mean we were together for a year and a half and extremely close. We've broken up before and the last time she being stubbord and said we wont get bk together but she eventually caved in and we got bk together however this time it as happened she almost took me bk but then said no.

Answer 1

Just think over your relationship and decide if you and her still really like each other or if you are just emotionally dependent on each other. Those are two different things. If you are just emotionally dependent on each other then it will be hard but you should just let her go. Maybe she just needs time and eventually if you still like each other then you will get back together. But you should just let her go for now. if you really love her or like her, whichever, then you should just explain to her how you feel in person. Just explain to her everything. Maybe she will understand and maybe she feels the same way.

Honestly though, she sounds like she is really trying to just get over you.

I can imagine how you feel though. I feel the same way. i am having an almost identical problem and i am trying desperately to get back with this person but i think it is useless. and sometimes i feel that i can't let go and that this is the best thing that has every happened to me. And that this person was so amazing and i could never find anyone as good as them. But the problem with that is that the relationship was amazing in the past. Now it is gone. When i remember this person i think about them in the past and how things were before. But you can not turn back time. And just make sure that when you want to get back together with her it is for who she is now and not for what she was. People change and she may have changed.  And after so many times of breaking up and getting back together are you sure that when you get back together with her you will not see each other through paradigms that have already been formed but instead see each other for who you both really are now in the present? When i want to get back together with this person i only see them for who we were and what we had. I see them through an opinion that i have formed about them a long time ago.

Also not to sound cliched but there are so many other people. and life goes on. there will probably never be anyone perfect but there might be someone who is even better than anyone else before. It is ok to move on. You are, i am sure from what you described, a wonderful person and many girls would love to be with you and although it may seem now that she is the only one and the best one there is still someone even better. i can not say for sure because of coarse i don't know what happened in your relationship and how it was but most likely there is.

Just let go. and don't be afraid to try someone else. and don't compare your relationship with her to your future relationships. ( it is like when you try something really good and you think it is amazing and you talk about it and fantasize about it so much that you convince yourself it was better than it really was and then when you try it again you are only disappointed. ) So when you will compare your old relationship to your new one it will probably be over exaggerated and you will not be able to be satisfied with your relationship.

I know it is hard to just let go (i am trying it at this moment and it is hard but writing this is surprisingly making it easier and still i cant just let it go) but it will only make it easier for her and for you.  

Answer 2

Do the mature thing and let her go.  Respect her wishes.

Answer 3

she might still like you but you should still respect her decision and let her go

Answer 4

If she don't want to be with you, then you have to move on, she's not interested obviously, just leave her be.

NO MEANS NO!

Ask Phoebe.

Answer 5

I think that she still has some, not lots, but some feelings for you. But whatever happened at prom is over riding those feelings. You two need to sit down and talk about this and get your feelings out. But if its a no, then its a no. You need to find someone else. And if she gets mad about you hanging out with other girls when you aren't a couple then its not your fault; you aren't always the bad guy. Hope it all works out!