Want our guests to wear black and white to our wedding...?

Question

I have friends who are looking for a cute poem that will request guests to wear black and white to the wedding - not black tie, just want everyone in attendance to wear black and white...

Answer 1

how about

to start our new life together out right we request you wear black and white and if you can't I understand we will still have fun with drinks in hand

Answer 2

Just be happy if you have guest at your wedding. Requesting that they wear Black and White could lower your guest count and not in a good way. Someone might feel that they have to go out and buy an outfit and you don't want them to feel like they are spending a lot of money just to come to a wedding. Not to mention that they would have to buy you both a gift, have transportation if they are not local etc. Just have them come as they are.

Answer 3

OK, so etiquette wise it might not be polite to ask people to wear certain attire, but it's happened before so why can't it happen again?  

Maybe you should consider calling it a Black and White Ball.  This way, people should be able to surmise that you are requesting (but not demanding) that they wear black or white formal or semi-formal attire.  If you are planning a wedding website as well, I would suggest listing this again under the Reception Information area of the site.  

People will want to play along and some people will turn up in red.  Either way, don't stress over it and have fun.  Hopefully your B&W Ball will be complete with Cinderella Memories.  I just totally corned myself out with that one.  :)  

Answer 4

Roses are red

Brides wear white

We're telling you what to wear

Even though it isn't right

Black or white

or a combo of the two

is the only way you can come

when we say I do

If you don't wear those colors

then we don't want you to come

just remember this theme

is only for fun!

Answer 5

I also agree with Science Chick. It's not appropriate to "demand" that your guests to wear specific colors.

I just had to laugh at her comment about guests not being breathing decorations. So true!!!

Answer 6

In terms of etiquette, you can't ask people to wear a certain color to your wedding.  Even though it seems like a simple request, we can't tell people how to dress.  We can advise them of the formality of an event, but we can't dictate what they wear.

Best wishes!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

don't listen to the girl above...its your wedding and tell them that you would like Everyone to wear black and white...its not that hard!

Answer 8

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Please wear black or white when we say "I Do!"

However I am not sure if there is a good to request that your guests wear a certain attire... It may not rub them the right way to request a specific color combination. Perhaps mentioning the theme in the invitation and allowing them to dress as they please would be better recieved?

Good luck!

Answer 9

"Wow, science chick hit the nail on the head with her "breathing decorations" comment.

Though it is your wedding, your day, you cannot control every aspect of it.  You can pick the music you want, you're paying the DJ.  You can pick the food your guests eat, the pictures and how long your photographer is there, your clothes, your invitations, your cake...all this stuff you've PAID for.  You can pick your attendants' clothes because you asked them for that honor, and they accepted.  

You are neither paying for your guests' attendance nor their attire.  You are asking them to be your guests.  That means YOU cater to THEM, not the other way around.  

It's a tough concept for a lot of brides (especially those with a "it's my day I'll do it my way" mentality) to understand.  Not saying that this is you, but there are many on here...

Answer 10

I like Kristy's little poem ... very cute and simple, but you'll have to elaborate on the invitations so people know you're serious.

I'm torn on this. I think that if you're having a small wedding with close friends and family only, the black and white thing will not be hard to pull off at all ... if people know you well, they'll be fine with wearing that.

However, if you're having an elaborate affair and you don't know a lot of people, some may not do it on principle, and then you'll have some in regular outfits, and some in B&W, and the B&W people might feel foolish.

It's a cute idea, but I would really think about it to be sure that it's worth the stress.

Good luck :)

Answer 11

I don't think it's fair to require everyone to wear a particular color.  A bunch of years ago my siblings and I hosted a luau-themed party and we said in the invitations that tropical/Hawaiian wear was encouraged.

That way the people that had appropriate clothing wore it, but nobody felt obligated to run out and buy something new.  We had about half and half.  Do try to keep in mind that a wedding is about the declaration of two people to commit for life - it's not a show with costumes that the audience has to also wear.

Answer 12

The way I see this is that I would welcome being asked to wear black or white...that way, you'd get lost in the crowd!

Answer 13

Wow, if I was a guest at that wedding, I make it a point to wear the whole spectrum of colors.  I would look like a rainbow vomited on me.

"Fun"? --  No, last time I checked, having someone else dictate what I was going to wear was not fun.

"it's the bride's request! It's their day they can do what they want."  --  So the fact that you're getting married gives you the right to do whatever you want regardless of how anyone else feels?  That sounds a little fascist to me.

Answer 14

You in left field on this one, Kiddo.

Other than solid white, which no one but the bride can wear, you can only require/ask that guests wear a certain mode of dress ( casual, semi-formal, formal) you cannot do so with colors.....

I agree with science chick...these are not 'props' for your ego or your pictures...these are guests. period. No matter how sweetly put such a request steps into the relm of rude....be prepared for refusals and insulted/ indignant guests...and they will be within their rights....yes, it's your wedding but you don't dictate the color of the clothes they wear.....sorry.

Answer 15

I don't care how cute the poem is, beyond letting them know how formal the event is you don't get to tell them what to wear. As long as they are dressed appropriately, they may wear whatever they want. I know it doesn't sound like its much to ask, but these people are supposed to be your family and friends, not breathing decorations for pictures.

ADD: Scary words here: "regardless of etiquette". Ugh. I know people make a big deal about it being "the brides day", but rude is rude. It is sad that the bride cares more about having things look perfect than being rude to her guests.

ADD: Yes, its a request, but it puts an unneeded additional pressure on them. If they don't want to, they risk looking silly. You are inviting them to celebrate with you. It doesn't matter what the reason is, it just isn't polite. If you choose to ignore that then fine. You asked a question and you got honest answers. Don't be upset if your guests find it rude as well.

Answer 16

Kudos to "science chick" for her hilariously worded answer that we all read and went "someone finally answered truthfully and with humor!"

I agree. You cannot force guests to wear a certain color scheme. I don't care if its "your day"...they're are guests and you should treat them like guests, not like background people while you enjoy the moment. If anything, they're more important. They are the ones experiencing this with you and watching as it happens. You're letting them eat hundred dollar food courses and decorating the place for THEM.

Why make them wear certain colors? That's for the bride, groom, and bridesmaids...Not the guests.  

Answer 17

you would rather guests didn't come than that they wore a different color?

are you more concerned with celebrating your marriage with friends and family or a photograph?

Answer 18

you could tell them that is a black and white themed reception and you would like the to participate. that way you are not forcing them to wear it but how ever suggesting it. If I knew it was a them I would wear something going along those colors.

Answer 19

I agree with Science chick!  If someone told me I had to wear a certain color to a wedding, I would intentionally wear a completely different color.

Answer 20

We hope you'll join in on our monochromatic theme

To bring us closer together as bridal and guest

Please wear black or white or both

It's our unique take on a bridal jest!

If white makes you flushed or black makes you sallow

Have no fear, wear whatever you have on hand

This color palette is not mandatory

But your joyful and lovely presence is in demand!

Answer 21

just simply say you are united as one and what the entire is  

Answer 22

That's a great idea! Punch it up with a bright color like red! It may start to look a little funeralish. Include in the invites that is is a black and white affair