Want to be a mom at 17...

Question

i want to be a mom really bad. i know that i was meant to be a mom and i know that i will make a good one. I live with my cousin and her newborn so i know how to do everything and have the experience of waking up at 3 in the morning. When her baby was 2 days old she n her BF took the guitar hero n went to a friends house for the night leaving me with her baby and not only did i do a wonderful job but I loved it. I loved the feeling it gave me. I loved everything from the smiles to yeea thats right i didnt mind the diaper thing one bit at all or when he spit up on me. its like i didnt care i just knew that I wanted to feel that everyday. As I watch the baby grow he amaizes me and I love him. I have wanted to have a baby since I was 15 and the temptation only grew from there. I know that I really really want this and I know Im ready. there is just one thing.... im 17 other than my age and my parents which i will get rid of in a year since im already living with my cousin but next year me and my bf are moving in together, other than that i really have nothing holding me back...i just font know what i will do...maybe if i finish high schooland right after or maybe right before high school ends...idk...help?

Answer 1

okayy first i would wait til after high skool and geta job  and make sure your ready and getcha self a house . be sure your ready for the  responsbility of another LIVING thing because once you get tired of it its  nott like you can throw it away. but make sure you and your boyfriend are both ready and want a child then once you have a ob graduate from high school (atleast) and have  a house/apartnent then i would think about habing children because remember  your education is important and when teens have kids they usually drop out of school. oh and to that one dude  who said it takess two ppl to  care for a child ur wrong it takes two people to MAKE  a child but therwe is a such thing as SiNgLe parents you know...! my mom ared for me and she was all by herself but anyways if you really like children then why not voulenteer at a daycare?  

Answer 2

I'd say No. Wait until you've lived your life; finished school, gone to university [or whatever], travelled, and gotten every single thing you want out of life. I'm not saying get married to have kids, I'm just saying live your life before you have to teach someone else to live theirs.

Babies are cute, but they're a lot of responsibility and you would get sick of the sleepless nights and pooey nappies [diapers, whatever], especially as a young woman who is supposed to be out living rather than cooped up in a house slaving like a chef/nanny/cleaner.

Answer 3

You have plenty of life left to enjoys the joys of motherhood,why don't you enjoy what little time you have left to enjoy being teenager.

Answer 4

its not about looking after a baby , because frankly its not rocket science - have you seen some of the inbreds who have manged to raise childern?

but its about the cost

a recent survay found that it costs about 200k to raise a kid to adult hood without privet school

you have one year of HS left - then i would encorage you to go to collage for a few years THEN be in steady imployment for atleast a year before you should consider getting pregnant

alos i would advise a steady partner because its an emotional time being pregnant.

also i feel that woman should have more abmition in life than raising babies. the reason why men dont take us seriously is because young woman just want to go out to raise kids - its very boring work you know ! get a career because you need one in todays society to be taken seriously , all you have is people looking down on you for taking money of the state to raise a child.

but hey its your life

Answer 5

You maybe ok getting up occasionally with your cousins baby but your child may get up through the night every couple of hours for the first couple of years of there lives and theres so much more to consider, iv got 2 children one is 3 and the other is 7 months and im still learning new things and getting tested in differentt ways. you should be sure your with the right man for starters its not fair to bring a child into a unstable relationship and then its unbelievable how much money they cost so i would try and get a job and somewhere stable to live first. Personally i think you should think long and hard about it. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

Answer 6

Wow.

Finish high school first.

deffinately finish.

I really do think you should go to college to

if you dont then it might not be the best for your family when

you have kids.

Finish about 1 or 2 years then have your kid then take a break for a year to take care of yer kid.

good luck.

im shure youll make a great mom.

Answer 7

If you REALLY think your prepared then yeah, of course do it.

but remember having a kid changes your life completely. You won't have as many freedoms anymore, but hey, if your willing to give that up then totally. go for it.

Answer 8

I guess if you don't call your own life nothing then go for it.

You can hand that baby back over when you are done babysitting that is why you like it so much. If you had to deal with that 24/7 you would not want to do it right now.

Why don't you want to live your own life right now and finish school?

Why do you live with your cousin and not your parents?

Someone that has a baby should not have to depend on others for shelter, clothing, food, etc. They should be able to do all that on their own. I would be so ashamed of myself if i had a kid and had to rely on family to take care of my kid.

Why don't you get a dog and take care of it. There is no need to rush into having a kid when you are a kid yourself.

You may think you know everything but you don't. A baby is not something you can get rid of when you want to go and have fun, it is not a fashion accessory and it is not something you have because you want attention or think it will make your boyfriend stay with you forever. No baby will not hold a guy to you.

How old is your cousin? 13-14 i mean running off to play a playstation game...that is so immature.

If you are ready to put your life on hold for the next 18 plus years go for it...But i would get a job and be able to take care of my ownself before i even thought about having a kid.

I just think you need attention and this is not the way to go. But then again i am not you and i am not your mom so do what you want, after all i will not have to live your life...Have a nice life.

Answer 9

i have wanted a baby for years too and i am almost 21. you need to ask girls who had their baby at 17...trust me girl...even i am a little young...you need to have your life started...a career so that you can support it cuz otherwise u will just be raising it and will be poor. you need to find out who you are and where you are going in life...have a plan and enough discernment to be a parent when it gets older cuz it isn't going to be a baby forever...you have to be ready for all the hard times that comes with it. i know the urge to have a baby at that age....but you will see that it is best to wait to make sure you can give the best to your baby...cuz the simplest mistake could ruin the childs life and yours. please think instead of going off your wants at this age

Answer 10

How do you plan on supporting a child at your age. Maybe you should consider college and get married before considering a child. You do want to give your child the best life possible and not just make yourself happy by having one.

Answer 11

finish hs definatelly and finish like 4 years of smt in college and after than u can give eveyrhting to ur baby!!!

Answer 12

I think before you even think about a child you need to ask yourself are you doing this for the right reasons? Some women might choose to have a baby because they want to feel loved--a baby depends on a person to care for them but doesn't know how to love until they're much older. Aside from emotional, there are physical, social and financial things you need to consider too.

Physically a teenage girl can have a baby but as her body is not fully grown she may encounter more problems than usual.

Teenage parents also may have social problems like not being able to socialise with friends or having to leave school or college.

You also need to consider where the money for the baby will come from--nappies, clothes, food, doctor's bills, medications etc. are all very expensive but nessicities.

Before you do anything please think of that =]

Answer 13

Why not just steal your cousin's baby?

Answer 14

I can understand your want/need for a baby. Some of us are natural born caregivers. If you really feel that you are ready, no one is stopping you. One thing you really need to consider is your education and your finances. Yes, babies are wonderful fuzzy little people that are so hard to resist. BUT, they require LOTS of time and even more money. How will you pay for this child, without an education? Sure, you can rely on the government to foot the bill, but what will you be teaching your child by doing this? If you REALLY want to be a Mom, and a good one, the best thing you can do is to wait. Take care of yourself. Get an education. Get a good job, and start to save money. Don't let your dreams of becoming a Mom deter you from being smart and prepared. Being a mother is hard work, and it only gets harder as they grow older. You cannot raise a child on minimum wage. It is not possible. Improve yourself first, so you can be a good role model for your child.

Answer 15

i really think that it is not the greatest idea. Now i have never really had an experience with younger babies that much... but idk. Another thing is that you want a baby NOW but afterwards you may be like your friend and leave your baby with someone else. Live your life while you are young... i still am. Think about not only your future but if you have a child it you are no longer your main priority your child has replaced it. Wait till you are married with a steady job and cash flow also support from others too...

God Bless

Answer 16

You certainly need to grow up and get a life, before you make a life!  You are in hs, am I correct?  You need to finish.  You said you got rid of your parents.  Do you dislike them so much, that you "got rid of them"?  I would say you need to look at why you do, and question if you may grow up with the same values, etc.  I would say that you thought their parenting skills were less than what you are thinking the should be??  We don't usually "fall far from the tree" (so to speak) as far as in our habits of raising kids, as our parents.  What do you think is terrible about them?  If it's their parenting skills, then somewhere down the line, I  would suggest a parenting class - preferabaly BEFORE having a baby!

I know a girl that is 21 iwith a new second baby, and laments being ONLY 21 and she should be out partying, etc.!!!  Think about that!  You are WAAAY too young.  Make plans for the future for yourself, as the economy is truly screwed up a the moment.  You need to be able to support yourself, before you bring a baby into this world.

Answer 17

I can only really see  two problems here

1. Are you finacilly secure?

2. Could you find a good farther for the child.

Answer 18

i saw wait till your at least 18.. i believe you will be a great mum..lol you would probably a great babysitter!!!  good  luck

--mee

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...  

Answer 19

I can tell you love children, but don't rush it :]

If you feel ready now,then if you wait a little while longer you'll feel fully prepared. Make sure you can support yourself and have a stable living condition before any Children.

Answer 20

Oh slow down. This is just infatuation -- like a new bf or that hot idol you're sure you're in love with and could spend the rest of your life happy, content, live in a 10 million dollar house and like most Hollywood romances, once reality sinks in and the dream fades away, be divorced and living w/ your cousin once again.

Having children is not all fun times, wonderful feelings, being a successful mother or being satisfied that this child fills all the empty spaces in your life. Unlike going crazy after a guy and finally getting him - after much manipulation and planning -- you can't break up w/ your child when you're not happy w/ your decision anymore. Not to sound unkind or negative but...be realistic - you're 17, you're still young and immature and have lots of living to do before you settle down to motherhood. And as you know, motherhood demands a lot of your time. You don't realize how much time is devoted to being a "good" mom. Sure, you can be a mediocre mom and do just what's necessary for survival but is that what you want for your child? To really have a child who will thrive, grow up w/ good self-esteem, a desire to be successful, go to school and college, graduate school (so that they can buy a house and just get by) and like their lives and choices they've made - you need to devote yourself to your child/be available for them whenever - while they're still in the house - set a good example by having a happy marriage, liking your life and not feeling entrapped by commitments that are over your head and feel resentment toward your child b/c you don't have time to do the kinds of things you want to do , in your life. Then, there's the money issue. It costs a lot just to have a child, prenatal care, hospital bills, a house w/ a nursery in an area w/ good schools, good neighbors that are a good influence and have the same kinds of values you do and where your family is safe. There's so much to consider instead of being rather selfish and just wanting to have a child for the sake of having a child and satisfying your need. Your need is probably not that you want a child but something else. Maybe you're not feeling valued by your bf and so you think that a child would value and look up to you/ maybe you're not feeling that you have anything you can call an accomplishment so having a child would fulfill that need in you/maybe you feel you need a goal in life and having a child would give you a role and the goal of being a Mom. A child isn't to fulfill any personality flaws or personal goals that you have. A child is an expression of your love for each other and a gift from God to raise and love w/ all your might.

If, after you're out of college and you and your hubby have a steady income and you can afford having only one person working while you stay at home and nurture your child to be the best they can be......Then, see if you still feel the same. I wager my chips that a 24 year old mind would think differently about the baby-thing than a 17 year old mind does. I agree, it's a fun thought and good feelings and a lot of new responsibility that's just exciting. But as I said at the beginning, slow down. Talk to counselors at school, your pastor or someone else from church and if possible, someone else who had children at an early age - that you respect. Live your life for you and enjoy this time. Once you have a child, your life will never be the same. Believe those ppl who tell you that - it's so true!  

Answer 21

well, enjoy your life of tough finances, and uncomfortable living, along with your welfare check. yea. come on girl. you sound smart, you know better then to even think about that at your age. your 17! yea, girls get baby hungry....shouldnt act on it.  let you and your bf get settled down first, you know? I mean, heck, what if that doesnt work out, and your left with a kid and all? think about it. waiting a while will only make things easier.

Answer 22

if ur really sure I recommend u graduating high school first and then get pregnant!!! at least u will have ur high school diploma!! But also make sure that ur bf wont back out from ur thought about having a baby at ur age!! have u two talked about it?/ about how r u going to support it ? if ur working or if he is da one that is going to b working??and if he is willing to help u out with the baby??? those r things u really need to consider before having a baby!!!! But also I have toa sk u??  r u and ur bf the kind of couple that like or love to go ut every weekend, drink, smoke and just do all of that?? I ask u this because if u do !! then ur not ready for a baby because when u have a baby u have to dedicate ur time 24/7 to it!!!!!!! and u wont do all the things u liked to do before being a mom!!!! GUD LUCK!!!!!!

Answer 23

DO NOT HAVE A BABY WHILE YOU ARE IN HIGHSCHOOL

okay? haha i think you should wait till you are 18 and living with your bf that way you dont get frustrated with school work and being pregnate

i hope once you do have a baby its healthy and beautiful

:)  

Answer 24

Do you have any sort of income?

Do you have any idea how much a baby and a house is going to cost you?

Sure, you may be be ready emotionally, but like you said, you're only 17.

There are soo many things you need to experience in your life before you decide to do something like that.

You know that they don't stay babies forever too right?

Have you put any thought into what you want to do with your life career wise?

How does your boyfriend feel about this?

I'm basically asking you questions that I want you to think about and be able to come up with the answers.

Also, you really can't post this kind of question here on yahooanswers and not expect people to tell you that you shouldn't do it.

And I know that when people go against what you want and tell you that you shouldn't do something, it might make you want to do it just to prove everyone wrong.

But having a baby changes everything.

If i could say one thing that you might consider, it would be to at least finish highschool beforehand.

I'm not telling you to do one thing or another, but I hope you choose what's best for you and your future family.

GoodLuck.

Answer 25

if you want to be a mom, then you want to be a good one. and that means being able to provide for a child. use that goal as a way to speed up the growing up process. finish school, get a career somewhat started, and find someone special to settle with. you have some awesome years coming up, 18- 20's are a blast, y ou shouldn't miss those.

Answer 26

You are too young to be having a baby at that age. First you need to establish a good relationship with a guy before you even consider having kids. Taking care of kids is a big responsibility. There is no rest and they are always there. It may seem like it's easy but you don't know how hard it is until you have your own.  

Answer 27

Wait as long as you can, at least a year after you and your boyfriend moves in together. Relationships start to change by then, either one of two way, and a baby dont help (trust me). For now, maybe you would like to be the baby's God-mother (up to the parents though). You can be that second mother figure, maybe that will help. Since you already have a bond with the baby.

Answer 28

How old is your cousin? Has she a husband or partner who is suporting her.?  Whose house is she living in ?  Having children is what a woman was made for.  What have you going for you but a desire?

Answer 29

ok, pay attention and think.  Your cousin left you with her baby at 2 days old to go play guitar hero!?!  Sounds like she's way too young and immature to have a baby.  Maybe you should get your baby fix from your cousin's baby right now.  Sounds like he could use some attention himself.  You could be his second mom, or first mom the way it sounds to me.  Things change when you have your baby 24/7 and don't have a life of your own.  Don't make the mistake and put a video game ahead of your baby, partying, prom, etc... Baby becomes your sole responsibility.  Go to college, meet the right guy, fall in love, get married, then have your baby.  Do the right thing.  For now, stick to babysitting.

Answer 30

It was great and wonderful because you were able to give the baby back afterwards.  Now think about getting up every night that way, and think about what you will do if the baby is sick but you have to be up for work in the morning.  Think about when you are just about to leave the house with the baby and he throws up on you, so you have to get changed but you are running late.  The long hours of massaging him because he can't p**p.  Do you think you'll be ready and know what to do when he gets a fever?  How will you be able to handle it when he gets his vaccinations and he's screaming in pain in your arms?

Now straight to what I want to know.  How can you have a baby if you can't even complete sentences properly and use spellcheck?  Do you think you'll be able to budget your foodstamps and government assistance if you can't even do the above?  That's where the majority of uneducated teenage mothers end up.

Answer 31

Trust me, wait till you finish college. Now im stuck being 12 and having a baby on the way. PLZ help:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...