Want to criticize a poem?

Question

i stand in silence

watching the wind

and the grass it blows aside

i look up at the white clouds

and they stare back at me

then in the moment i look away

one separates from the rest

it comes down to my parched land

and beckons me toward it

i walk the few steps it takes to reach it

it sits there staring up at me

seemingly waiting for me to make a move

waiting for me to take that one step

and stand resting on the wings of heaven

so i stand there

pondering over my life

and i endure that step

i fly off

together with my wings

i fly off and become

free

It feels odd to write a poem that doesn't rhyme.

So good? Bad?

Answer 1

You have a good thing going.

All I will say to you is, your thoughts are great without all the extra stuff. Think about something like this, and these are ALL your words:

watching

grass blows

white clouds stare

I walk the few steps it takes to reach it

parched,

beckoning,

waiting.

pondering life

i endure that step

and fly off

with wings

i fly and

become.

Answer 2

Nice piece of poetry! Never mind that rhyme is not perfect! It's good freeform literary work! If wish you can post it to my website - http://www.gothlit.com/ Good luck!

Answer 3

love it!