Want to date a girl who has kids?

Question

She is 21 and im 24, she realied she made a mistake and will never talk to ex again. So I really like her and probably will get into something serious with her. All my friends are saying Im an idiot and to go for somene without kids. Maybe they think its weird cause usually guys my age dont want to settle down, let alone with someone who had kids. Im going to date her despite what they say, but am wondering if everyone around my age thinks this is bad/good. Just am curious, thanks

Answer 1

One would have to know her to make statements as to good and bad.  

   The question to ask yourself is, have you been a pretty good judge of character in your past relationships or dates?  That ought to give you a good idea.

    As for friends and advice, friends often give advice, that they themselves would not follow should the tables be turned.

     Fact is there's too many good women with kids, to just pass them up every time, nor is it too smart to knock something you haven't tried. Kids can be a lot of fun and very rewarding to have around.

      The kids behaviour and her parenting skills will tell you a lot more about her in a much shorter time.

       We pick and choose who we date or marry, not who we fall in love with.

       I would bet given time, you will find some of your friends in the same situation and even considering marriage.

        Time has a way of making us all, eat our words.

      

Answer 2

dude your only 24............RELAX!!!!!!!  you got school to finish, im sure.  finish school THEN make this an issue.  

d**n....why does every guy n girl think getting with someone is the only way.  

RELAX.........explore various options.

Answer 3

I used to be against dating girls with kids until I dated one.  She and her kids completely won me over to the idea.  Of course I was 30 at the time.

I wouldn't date somebody with kids if it was just casual dating.  You have to be more careful with girls who have kids because there's more at stake.  More people can get hurt if things don't work out.

Answer 4

I know I'm a girl but I really think if that's what you feel like doing then do it . However you must think about if you're ready to be a father figure in those kid's lives. You should also think about what will happen if you decide to break it off after a while, it's not just her you'd be hurting. thats why im saying make sure it's what you really want.

Answer 5

I'm 50 now and was in a very similar situation when I was your age. I dated her for over a year and eventually passed on her. I still miss her and I'm still single. I'm NOT saying "Go for it, Get Married". I am saying keep your eyes wide open and try not to let those who don't have a clue have too much influence. (Like my Dad who made some derogatory comments) All in all I suppose I just wasn't ready for an instant family but you may be. One of the most important things is your relationship with the child. It must be very positive and solid. Parents have difficulty at times relating to their children and you will be at a natural disadvantage, even if you get along with the child very well now.  The younger the child the better your chances of having fewer problems. If the natural father has no visitation rights you are another notch up on the positive scale. A minimum of 12 to 18 months is needed to get past the oowie goowie partner attraction that blinds you to the realities of a relationship with your new friend. Truly 12 to 18 months, honestly. Don't rush things, this is not only important to you and your friend, it's important to the child. If you don't get along great with the kid... it's over, period. You don't want to fight for the remainder of the childhood with a stepkid. It would be miserable. You don't have to look far to see the examples.  

Answer 6

You should be curious.  Always remember the kids come first and you can't get jealous if she puts them ahead of you - all of the time - and she should!  A good mom will always put her children first and her relationship 2nd (also, a good dad).  It is important and if she does that, then she is a good person and worth dating.  If she is a 21 year old who is out partying all of the time, and never with her kids, maybe think twice.  Regardless, it is your decision and if you like her, go for it. 24 is a decent age to settle down and girls mature faster than guys (usually), so it may be a match made in heaven - as the token quoke goes.

Answer 7

Well i have known many people in this situation but i say go for the girl and do things to make her kids like you and want to be friends. Take them out to eat or to the movies show her and her kids that you love them and care about them that way they will trust you to take care of them and you guys will have a strong relationship.  

Answer 8

I think if u like this girl then go for it. Just make sure you are aware that dating someone with children is not easy. Sometimes there's no babysitter or privacy. You have to be mature and not expect to be able to do stuff that you usually do with someone who has no kids. With that said there is the advantage that a person with kids who begins dating is more likely to be more into a serious relationship so if you want to settle down then this girl might be a good choice because she (hopefully) with her kids has grown up and matured and is looking for a heathly environment for her kids. No one can tell you what to do but try it out and u never know, it might work out. Don't listen to your friends cuz they have their own life to worry about.

Answer 9

I would probably date her, after all, you WOULD be making those kids happier.  

ARE YOU KIDDING?!

Its GOOD!  Those kids probably really want a dad. I mean, who wouldn't? Good luck!

P.S., I hope you don't mess up. After all, you heard her. NEVER TALK TO THE EX is her tactic. Plz be careful, I hate people being crushed...

Answer 10

dude, do what you want to do. I'm 23 and have a daughter, it's part of life. I still have my man....but why should she be punished for having kids? I'm sure she is a great mother....that won't stop her from being a great lover and friend to you. Don't take it too fast.....ease into it....if it doesn't work, you don't want the kids to get too attached to you. Maybe date her for a bit first, then meet the kids. If you like their mom, usually they will like you

Answer 11

Well, I'm 22 with 2 kids. Being involved with someone who has kids needs lots of patience. She may not devote 100% of her time to you, but to her little one. You have the screaming, crying, nagging, and other days when you simply want to pull your hair. But if your really like her, then you should also think about the little one. Do you get along with kids as well? What is your idea of a perfect weekend is like? If its bars, clubs, hanging out then forget about her. If its BBQ, Target, playground, movie nights, then you may be ready for this. Good luck!!