Want to get yourself 10 points?

Question

Give me a good joke. I need something that makes me laugh, HARD. I also have the same thing for rants. If you want to get something off your chest or are just angry, go ahead and give me the best rant you can give.

Answer 1

idk ....sorry

Answer 2

           - This is strictly a joke, nothing else -

A girl and a black man go to a hotel room after a party.

The girl says, " Show me what they say about black men."

The black man stabs her and knicks her purse and runs away.

#2- Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.

His wife is lying in bed reading.

Man says, "This is the pig I have s*x with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

Answer 3

joke:

knock knock

whos there

little old lady

little old lady who?

I didnt know you could yodel!

haha that made me laugh =] even tho its rubbish!

and yehh i do have an annoyance atm

some people are just so easy its like bloody h**l like they go on about having a boyfriends and its like yeh its because your easy and like anything that goes mate

and then theres like a really nice guy you like and then he gets drunk and goes and pulls some other girls who is the biggest annoying 5 letter word ever and your devooed and like crying

and then your easy mates just like yeh i have a bf but omg hes dumped me now and omg i have a new bf but now hes dumped me....

welll jesus mary and joseph just go out with the next nerdy geek that asks you out like you always do

why can't you wait for a nice guy but then again you'll end up like me who does and then kazaam hes snogs some wirdo

Answer 4

A woman received a talking bird from her sister who recently passed away. From day one all the bird ever did was cuss her out until one day the woman could take no more. She swung the bird cage door open, grab the bird by the neck and threw it in the freezer.

For a few moments she paced the floor talking to her self saying how fed up she was with the bird cussing her out. She came to her senses and realized that the bird meant a lot to her late sister.

The woman quickly opened the freezer door, grab the bird and gently placed it on the table.

The bird stood up and said "Okay, I was wrong. I know I hurt your feelings and I'm sorry. I just have one question for you," pointing to the freezer, "What did the chicken do?"

LOL! What cha think?

Answer 5

Right well it's not really a joke just something that amused me a lot (little things please little minds.)

Well I found my proper old school GameBoy, you know the first brick ones ever made and inside it was Pokemon Yellow, I'm sure you can imagine my joy!

Well after I had caught a metapod which until it evoles it's only move is harden it said I could name him. So I named my metapod "*****" so when I was in a battle with ***** and selected for it to harden it came up on screen "***** Harden!"

Tehehee!

Answer 6

Music is like candy. Throw away the rappers.

Answer 7

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Answer 8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Euv7W9jMX...

tho its kinda weerd

Answer 9

Okay, now be nice I always get the jokes wrong. I'm a little blond.  Two nuns, a duck and a horse walk into the bar. The bartender says what is this, some kind of a joke?

Answer 10

2 muffins are baking in a oven one said "it is hot in here" the second one said " hay look a talking Muffin"

Answer 11

whats a qualah bear spend the most time on

quality time hahahahahaha

jesus loves you so i dont have too

Answer 12

Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance... Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."

Answer 13

what kind of bee supplies milk.?

a boobie..lol

haha yeah its ok.

Answer 14

see my answer on the question

"foot stuck in my friend"  question  (search it-its open)

i'm a funny girl  

Answer 15

So there's a guy who goes into a bar and brags about how smart his dog is. "This dog can talk!" he claims. "I will bet $100 this dog can talk!"

The bartender is pretty skeptical. "All right, make him talk," he says.

"Okay," the guy says. Then, to his dog, "What is the thing that the walls hold up?"

"Roof," the dog barks.

The bartender rolls his eyes. "That's not talking!"

"Fine," the guy huffs. Again, to his dog, "Who was the greatest baseball player ever?"

The dog answers with a muffled "Ruth."

Annoyed, the bartender kicks the guy and his dog out of the bar. Then, the dog turns to the guy, shrugs, and says "DiMaggio?"

Answer 16

Seven dwarfs in the bath and they were all feeling grumpy,then grumpy jumped out and they all started feeling happy.

Answer 17

A little boy was doing his maths homework.

He said to himself,

"Two plus five, the son of a bitc... is seven.

Three plus six, the son of a bitc... is nine..."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you

teaching my son in maths?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the sonof a bitc... is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.