Want to help me make sense of my poem with an answer?

Question

I'm drowning in a lake called deceipt.

I tread in it, like an island of truth.

It's better than my usual swimming pool.

I'm usually in the lake of my misery.

Very often, I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Do you? Really?

People accuse me of having tricks up my sleeve.

Is it the question or statements that seems silly?

I ask myself, sometimes, "Self, why do you smoke?"

I hear, "Well, people take my sleeves. Just for a joke.

They accuse my sleeve of being irrellevent.

I tell them, "It's all that can keep me warm."

They tell me that the rest of my body is surely absent of love.

I respond, "The rest of me is no more than my heart's glove."

Am I the sleeve upon which I wear my own heart?

Is love a sleeve for my heart, or vice versa?

That seems to hardly make sense.

I tend to think that my heart is my love's scapegoat.

If love wears hearts as their sleeve,

and hearts our worn upon sleeves...

Why can't I seem to find love?

Answer 1

I think the poem could be a lot better if it was reworked, reworded a little, and just a few changes. I will place it here for a few suggestions if I may?

I'm drowning in a lake called deceit.

I tread in it, like an island of truth.

It's better than my usual swimming pool.

I'm usually in the lake of my misery.

Very often, I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Why can't I seem to find love?

People accuse me of having tricks up my sleeve.

Is it the question or statements that seems silly?

They accuse my sleeve of being irrelevant.

I tell them, "It's all that can keep me warm."

They tell me that the rest of my body is surely absent of love.

I respond, "The rest of me is no more than my heart's glove."

Am I the sleeve upon which I wear my own heart?

Is love a sleeve for my heart, or vice versa?

That seems to hardly make sense.

I tend to think that my heart is my love's scapegoat.

If love wears hearts as their sleeve,

and hearts are worn upon sleeves...

Then the heart is a lovely adornment,

For my lonely sleeve.

Only my opinion, no offense meant.  I omitted 2 lines completely: Do you? Really? and I ask myself, sometimes, "Self, why do you smoke?"Neither of these seemed to have  a pertinent use in the poem. Thanks for sharing.

Answer 2

Don't drown in deceipt before I get to shoot you.

Answer 3

I loved the beginning of your poem but then it kept on saying the same thing over and over. Change the middle up a bit or word it differently. Ask different questions.

Over all i give it a 6 out of 10.