Want to know what you all think of this poem...Honest Opinions :)

Question

I knew someday I'd lose you

Just didn't expect to be the one to say the first goodbye

If you see me with tears in my eyes

Don't look worried or suprised

This Pain will last a lifetime

I realise i need you still

Your my only reason,

I've just got to admit the truth

All I want is a place to run and hide

I want to be safe in your arms.

(there will be another stanza...just don't know what to write yet :S)

Answer 1

Definitely some potential there keep trying one day you could write a perfect poem that ends up well known

Answer 2

Your poem is okay. But in the second line it should be just didn't expect to be the first to say goodbye. In the sixth line it should be i realize i still need you. Take out the next line. Then it should be I have to admit I just want to run and hide in your arms and be safe. Other than that the poem is fine.