Wanting revenge.........?

Question

My husband and I separated a month ago . I made him leave due to his temper and abusiveness about s*x. He thinks a woman should have s*x even when she don't want to. I told him how about a little affection once in a while. A phone call once in a while to let me know he's thinking about me or a hug sometimes. He's not willing to do that but expects me to have s*x even when I don't want to. I told him if he'd show me a little affection once in a while then I would naturally want to have s*x with him but he says he's not going to. Then he became more and more verbally abusive and yelling a lot so I made him leave. I told him I'd like for us to seek counciling but he won't do that either. He wants to come over and have s*x with me and then leave. He says all men are that way. They get to hurting so bad that they will get it somewhere. Now I think he's seeing someone. It kills me to think he's showing another woman affection when this is all I was asking for. I am so angry at him and wanting to hurt him. I want revenge. I've dedicated 14 yrs to this man. Why not work on our marriage. He used to be more affectionate. All I know is I am very angry. If I could get over this hurt and wanting revenge I'd be ok. Any advice?

Answer 1

dont try to get revenge. try to put that negative energy towards getting over him...thats the best revenge!

Answer 2

I cannot say this enough in these kind of advice stories.  Put yourself first and stop focusing on this man.  Believe me I've been through what your going through and I just went and got myself a gym membership, a trainer and started to look at myself for happiness.  I love me enough to not need for him to love me and it's coming naturally for him to learn to show me love and affection.  I'm not at all saying blame yourself for his action, I do not blame myself but I'm just saying that you need to really look at yourself and not to get revenge but just to get happier.  Also, like the others have said revenge will not help you as a matter of fact you will probably get the opposite affect and you will feel worse and the situation will only get worse.  My goal girl....GET HOT!  And I mean so hot I can't stand myself.  Not for anyone else, just for me.  I'm having a great time watching myself transform. I've always been beautiful but having four children has definitely taken it's toll and given me something to work at.  YOU SHOULD SEE ME NOW!  lol  Good luck sweetie..If you need to talk to someone that can relate, E-Mail me, I'd love to give you some encouragement.  We need more strong self-assured, independant women.

Answer 3

yes. forgive  and forget him

Forgiveness does nothing for the violator.

When you forgive....truly forgive ,

you let go of your hurt and anger, nothing more

you are and feel free.

Your forgiveness is for you and you alone.

forgiveness has nothing to do with the bible, god or religion.

forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, so that you Can feel free and happy again

Answer 4

If I am reading this correctly, you withheld s*x because he wasn't affectionate enough and then through him out. What exactly do you want revenge for? Him moving on with his life instead of crawling back to you? Did your plan go awry? Well, he moved on, you should move on. The best revenge is to go forward and build a good life for yourself.

Answer 5

Serve him with divorce papers and get yourself a younger boy-toy.

Answer 6

i don't blame you for being feeling hurt and wanting to scream and yell however you did ask him to leave for a reason so try and remember that also if he is seeing someone else it will only be a matter of time before he starts to verbably abuse her you may need to seek that counseling for your self and try to move on

Answer 7

Anything you do for revenge just makes you look small. Do the right thing and leave him. You deserve better. Dont get hung up on "Why" he is being an a*****e. Move on all men are not like that.