Wanting to adopt & single?

Question

I am single, work full time and have been a foster parent for a year. I have had a foster child since I was licensed and knew of him before. He is part of a sibling group. I want the sibiling group but child services doens't want me to because I am single. I have hired an attorney and made little headway. All parental rights have been terminated. There is no reason why I can't have the kids other than I am single. Has anyone had to fight the state and won? I wonder if I am fighting a loosing battle.

Answer 1

It's hard to believe that they won't let you adopt as a single person, unless there are issues with the siblings not wanting to!  How old is the foster child?  Is he/she old enough to be able to declare their intentions to a lawyer?  And, if so, it might work better to hire a lawyer for the child to persue being adopted by you.  Good luck!

Answer 2

Hi Lyssa,

I wanted to start by saying thank you for helping foster children.  It sounds like you are an amazing person!

Now for the part I don't want to write, adopted children are not like other children.  They need constant reassurance, unconditional love, and STABILITY.   Sure every child is different but from the sounds of things the older two children are already having some difficulties.  Someone should really be home with them and shower them with undivided attention.  That's just my humble opinion from experience.

Can you work from home?  Hire a nanny?  Have your mother, sister or some other family member be home with  the children?  I am wishing all the best.  I also wish i had better advice to offer you.  Take care:)

ETA:  I was trying to word things gently cause i like you but i have to agree with Heather B.

Answer 3

It has been proven the children have a better home life with a married couple and are less likely to be abuse (physically and sexually) by mothers boyfriends and whatnot. I am not saying you are like that by any means but that could by why they are being hesitant in it. Those statistics for abuse are on an uphill climb right now and I am sure it doesn't help your case.

Answer 4

will u adopt me:

I am 24 year old, Having Master Degree in Electronics from India and currently working as Lecturer in Delhi university. i wants to adopt a couple or single Lady as my Guardian who live in (Delhi / Merrut)India or in UK. I wants a Love from My Gaurdian / Parents & i wants to give Love & care to my Gaurdians / Parents. will u Please be my Parents / Gaurdians.

Answer 5

Ignore kamal, i think he's a bit of a nutcase! I can't help with legal aspects but can wish you the best of luck on your mission! If you are a good honest person with a proven history of a big heart, it is disgraceful to be denied the right to adopt your little man! There are so many innocent unloved children and not enough loving homes as it is, you would think they would welcome you with open arms!! Dont be disheartened, its the strong people like you willing to fight that can change the laws for the better! Good luck and may you make him proud!

Answer 6

If you are at work full time who will raise the child.  Just wondering.

ETA:  With all due respect an adopted under 5 is very different to an average 8 year old!

Adopted children take even more patience and understanding than bio kids and are expecially sensitive to being left in day-care centers or with rotating nannies or baby sitters, because they have already experienced abandonment.   Kids of this age and early traumatic experiences are not ready for extended time away from mother.

As a mother you have a responsibility to nurture and care for the child.  Having someone else do it compromises the emotional health of the child - his/her sense of security hinges on early relationships with his mother.  Quality time is not between seven and eight at night or a Saturday afternoon.  Quality time for a child is having mother available when he/she needs her, day or night.  If you are not available, it will bring up feelings for the child, feelings that you will have to be prepared to acknowledge and validate.