Was Her Daughter Too Honest Or Should Her Mom Not Of Asked Her?

Question

One of my close friends has a 14 y/o daughter.

She's very pretty and very popular, going into H.S. as a freshman this year and has never worked for anything she has.

Her Mom tries to use any extra money she makes to buy her daughter brand name clothes like "Hollister", "Abercrombie", etc.

I don't think the child owns a stitch of clothing from Wal-Mart.

Now I have the spoiled brat point out of the way, here's my question.

My friend is a single mother.

She's an assistant manager of a "dollar store" and they live in a duplex type apartment.

She (the mother) has heard her daughter say how embarrassed she is of where her Mom works and where they live. (which is actually pretty nice for living in a rental)

So last night she (the mother) confronted her and asked her (the daughter) if she really felt this way.

This gave open a chance for her daughter to tell her yes to everything.

She (the mother) asked, and she (the daughter) gave a brutal, but honest answer.

I just wonder if sometimes, even if we feel a certain way, shouldn't a person not be so honest?

Answer 1

thank goodness this child can be honest with her mom, i would worry if she had lied, cuz who knows what else she lied about, my advice is to silently be grateful this kid is honest, and let them go about their biz

Answer 2

Nope.  If you start asking your children not to be honest, you're opening up a door that cant be shut.  Your friend, the mother, should realise that young kids cant help but be embarrassed by something about their parents.  I remember being embarrassed because my mother worked at walmart.  Kids can be cruel and anything different or not cool, is worthy of getting teased about.  So even though your friend makes decent money to support her daughter, she has to be aware that it can still be veiwed as embarrassing.

Answer 3

the mother should give the daughter something to be embrassed about and start buying her walmart clothes or good will things and make her appreciate all the good things she has

Answer 4

My boyfriend is like that.  Brutally honest.  That's just the way his personality is... I've had to learn not to take the things he says too personally sometimes...  Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy... but sometimes he just doesn't think before he speaks, and feels that people shouldn't be offended when he tells them the truth.

I would be honest with the daughter and tell her how much my feelings were hurt by what she said.  I would also tell her that she is old enough to get a job and work for the things she wants.  If she really wants clothes from Hollister, then she has to work for them!  Tell her that nobody is handed everything for free in real life and it it's the same way at home.  Just because her friend has everything she desires, does not mean that she is entitled to all the designer clothes she wants too.

Answer 5

I think in that instance it should have opened a dialogue - not just been question and answer. It would have been the appropriate thing to do because then the mom could maybe see some way of imparting some values into her daughter, rather than just the material.  

Answer 6

Your friend likely already knew the answer to that question so since she asked at least her daughter gave her an honest answer.  Her daughter is 14 and it is no surprise she feels that way...kids that age can be very materialistic and not think about how lucky they are to have a roof over their heads and how much it costs to provide for them.  Appearance (clothes, where you live, etc.) means everything to them.  Hopefully your friend told her daughter she is doing the best she can and with time and maturity the daughter will not be embarrassed of where her mom works and where they live.

Answer 7

The mom failed to teach her daughter correct values and intelligent thinking.

Answer 8

So what. The truth hurts. Even if it's painful for the mother to hear, it's always good for children and teenagers to be honest with their parents.

Answer 9

Shes 14 years old. Right now she thinks the world revolves around her!