Was I ok to do this, or what?

Question

We were at an indoor playground this morning, my husband, me and my 2.5 year old.

There was a little boy around 4 who was throwing the plastic balls from the pit at my daughter. So my husband first off said, "Don't throw balls mate, it's not nice."

He kept doing it, so then I said, "Stop throwing balls please - it's not nice and you will get in big trouble if you hurt her".

So this boy sat there l*****g his lips for about 20 seconds and then suddenly just started screaming and yelling for his mum.

She came and got him and I explained I had told him to stop throwing balls and he just started crying, and she gave me a look and walked away.

Now firstly - we were in the under 3's section so the boy should not have even been there, and secondly, we had been there with this boy for over 45 minutes and had not seen the mother at all.

My point of view is that she should watch her child herself. I am not a yeller or spanker at all and both my husband and I said it very nicely, not yelling or threatening.

Now my husband is teasing me saying that I am mean for making the boy cry! He is joking really, but what do you think - was I right to tell the boy off?

Answer 1

Yes, you were right. And honestly I'm glad I wasn't in the situation and that you can keep your temper, because if it was me I would currently be at the police station being booked for assault and battery...I would have told him twice to stop and then smacked the little t**d...

Answer 2

you were right his mum should have been watching him to start with then it wouldn't have been left to you to tell the kid of my 4th child is really hypo and when  hes doing something wrong that i cant see i expect him to be told of at least he knows he cant get away with everything and you didn't yell and scream like a a crazy person you just asked him to stop  

Answer 3

If there's not a parent around parenting & there's a child doing something clearly dangerous or rude, I will, also, speak to the child, asking them to stop.  

You would think that a parent who leaves their child unattended would kind of expect that or, at least, not mind if that happened.  Otherwise, they should watch their child themselves or teach them how to deal with it when strangers do speak to them.  

Answer 4

I def. think so. You tried to be nice first and its her responsibiity to watch her own child. Its your job first as a mommy to protect your own little girl and you cant let her get hurt or make her stop playing there just because some lttle boy wants to be a jerk. I completley agree with you.  

Answer 5

Defiantly, i mean if it were me id probably say something to, although its not in my nature i am quite shy.

And if that were my son throwing things, id be all apologetic to you, my son is a bit . . um .high is the word and gets really over excited, i have even had a taxi driver telling my son to behave, and it doesn't bother me, if a child is being naughty they need to be told.

And as for the mother  she should not have left her son unattended at all, i mean. there is alot of nasty people out there.

But in all i think you were both in the right. dont worry about it.

Answer 6

to answer your question at the end first - yes you were more than reasonable in what you did.  in fact perhaps next time take the matter into your own hands and approach the management and say that there is a 'lost' child that needs attending as they are over age and in the wrong area with no adult on hand.

i think that his crocodile tears were an attempt to avoid a more-than-justified 'telling off' hoping that his mum will say 'ok no worries as he is 'upset' today'

perhaps the mum could do with a telling off for abandoning her child into the bargain?

Answer 7

Of course you were ok to do that!

Not much else could have been done as politely. You shouldn't stress about this at all. You really did all you could in keeping the peace!

The kid needed to be told what was right and wrong, pure and simple. It's clear his mother didn't want to!

I would have done the same thing, except I'm more aggressive, so things would have gotten a LOT more heated between me, and this mother of his.

Answer 8

No way should you feel at all guilty. This kid sounds like an undisciplined little *$#&. It is obvious, by the lack of mother, that she couldn't give a d**n what he was doing, therefore you were definitely in the right telling him to stop.

Shame the mother wasn't there to do the same thing, how dare she give you bad looks, what a nerve!

I have done the same thing many times! Don't give it a second thought!

Answer 9

You were completely in the clear. If you had honestly hurt the child's feelings he would have cried straight after you had talked to him, instead of waiting. Besides, you were protecting your child. Throwing balls at someone can do more harm then telling someone to stop it, especially with your daughter being so young.

Don't let it get to you, you sound like a great mum and this woman should have been watching her child and stopping him herself.

Answer 10

Of course it's ok! You're being too modest. That kid had every right to be told off! His mother is the one to blame. She should've been looking after her kid, unless she had a really good excuse, and she should've been the one to tell her kid off not you!

Answer 11

You were right to tell the boy off.

My advice is if it ever happens again you ask the kid nicely once then if nothing happens you get a staff member of the indoor playground to remove the older child from the area he can't be in.  This also works if there is a child causing trouble when the parents won't do anything as the staff have to keep the place as safe as possible.

That way if the mother complains she complains to the staff who can order the family to leave if they won't abide the rules.

Answer 12

Well you weren't telling the boy off, his parent wasn't there to supervise him so you have to step in to protect your child. I have had to step in like that also many times. This child probably isn't used to hearing the word stop and he is 4 so he should know better. He will maybe think twice about throwing balls next time. I think it's great you did that.

Answer 13

lol  you say that you are not a yeller or spanker and you both said it verly nicely, not yelling or threatening. and then you end it with "was I right to tell the boy off?"

lol this is cute how we get so protective over our children... and no I don't think you were wrong at all. I would have thrown a scary look in there at the kid :) give'em something to cry about (just kiddin)

Answer 14

you didnt do anything wrong. that little boy just has bad manners and a careless mother. your husband asked him to stop in a nice way the first time and i assume when you asked you had a calm but stern voice. you were protecting your daughter and did nothing wrong!

Answer 15

Totally agree.

The mother should have been there to watch over her own child, and has no right to tell YOU anything- you were the one doing the right thing!!

Dont feel bad about this at all.

Answer 16

Ugh, we have the same problem at our indoor play cafe thing. A lot of the parents seem to think it is ok to not pay attention to what their child is actually up to. And don't get me started on play equipment at McDonald's, we were there one day and it clearly stated on the door that all children must be accompanied by an adult. A family came in and shoved their kids out the door and went and sat down and didn't bother with the kids at all. One of them was maybe 12 months and in a hip cast.........I mean come on.

You did the right thing and that boy has his mother wrapped around his little finger. She is his pawn. I prefer to be a parent not a play thing at a child disposal.

Answer 17

Hun no your right it was the same for me a few weeks back i took Thomas (pictured left) to something similar and the same thing happened to him Thomas was just sat there and two kids i must admit were younger than Thomas were slinging balls at him , i stood there shouting Please stop throwing balls at My Son, they carried on  and this ignorant man came up and said 'What can't he talk for himself' to which i replied 'NO actually he CANNOT he has autism' so the point to this mini rant of mine is Children should be watched especially as young as 4 if something goes wrong then the parents will be to blame, so Yes you were right to tell him off ..i Did the same and would again they go to play not to have things slung at them