Was I out of line? ?

Question

I work at a local bank. We had a new girl start about a few weeks ago.

Well 2 weeks after she started, was her birthday. She had told us she was going to be turning 29 and that she was going out with some friends.

I love to make cakes for all my co-workers, it's fun. So I made her a chocolate cake with buttercream icing. It looked beautiful.

I even wrote "Happy Birthday Sara" on it.

Well when she got there and she saw the cake. She looked shocked. Then she asked if it had any butter or eggs in it. I told her it did and then asked, "why, are you allergic to those?"

Then she got really mad and threw it away and said, "No, I'm a vegan and I don't eat that c**p!"

And I said " There's no reason to be hateful about it, I had no idea!"

And she said "Why would you assume that everyone eats animal products? Some of us actually have a heart, you know!"

I was mad and basically told her to go to h**l.

Was I out of line to make a cake for her? I never saw her eat lunch, she always left for lunches.

I was offended and I felt that she could have handled it better. If I had known, I would have gladly made an eggless/butterless cake for her.

Answer 1

What a B *** C. I'd of told her "am I supposed to read your mind and know what you can and can't eat?" She could of shared it with others at work and told you politely that she didn't eat cake.

I had this happen to me once when I cooked a friend peanut butter cookies. She freaked and said "those could kill me. " I'm like "gee I didn't know."

Answer 2

seems like she has more of a "heart" for animals than a fellow human being.  You showed her that you had a heart by making a cake for her.  If she really had a heart, she would have said thank you and kindly explained that she would not be able to eat it.

Answer 3

i think it was a very nice gesture on your part and she was rude and out of line.

However, maybe in the future you shouldn't go out of your way to do nice things for people you really don't know, maybe ask the person before you spring a surprise on them.

and she should have allowed the others to enjoy the cake instead of being so ugly and throwing it away.

there is no excuse for her rudenes.

Answer 4

No, she was out of line. She should have said "Thank you so much but...' or "I really appreciate it but...". You had no way of knowing. She sounds like a b*tch anyway.

Answer 5

She was extremely rude and ungrateful. What a b*tch!

You were thoughtful.

Answer 6

no she was totally out of line!!!!!!!!!!!!

while i get VERY frustrated that it's just ASSUMED everyone eats dead animals (you'd be amazed how many things i buy and upon label inspection realize there's something in there!) it is the "norm".... you were very generous to have made her a cake!  she should appreciate that!  besides what good does throwing it away do? i guess hse doesn't care about wasting food?  or that the eggs and butter was already used and already bought and now it's just going to waste? that's incredibly dumb of her.  she should of thanked you (profusely!) and just let you know that she regrets she won't be able to eat it becasue she's a vegan, but offered it to everyone else to enjoy eating.  that would of been proper. she was just rude. gives a terrible name to veg*ns everywhere!

if you want to- you can approach her... maybe an email... letting her know how awful she behaved. but it's up to you. you didn't do anything wrong at all!

Answer 7

She was the one who was way out of line. She handled it in the worst way possible. She should have thanked and then said that she could not eat it because she is a vegan. Then she should have invited the others to eat the cake.

If that is the way she handles her business, she should be fired. She has no tact.

Answer 8

she is a bi*ch it comes from lack of bacon. i'll eat a cake.. or even a pie

Answer 9

You were not out of line. She is giving veganism a bad name. I would ask her how she hopes to persuade anyone to care about animals with that kind of attitude.

Answer 10

Bless you x*x no, you're not out of line at all, you had no idea, how could you have known? You went to some effort for her ad she was basically incredibly ungrateful. Her choces are her own, she shouldn't try to foist them on other people. I'm a vegetarian but I've alwase been a bit dubious of the vegan diet-I respect them for making that commitment to animals but I can't help feeling it can be very unhealthy if you're not careful. Mabye she was grumpy cos she didn't have any energy or something? Keep up the cake making, don't think its out of line at all :-)

Answer 11

She was incredibly rude, and this is the type of reaction that gives us vegans a bad reputation.

99% of people have no problem with eating eggs or dairy. The burden is on us vegans to NICELY explain our diets to others.

What she should have done is politely thanked you for being so nice, explain that she appreciates the effort, but because of her diet, can't eat it. And then shared it with her coworkers so others could enjoy it.

Let her know that other vegans think she needs to improve her attitude.

Answer 12

Not at all out of line she was.

What you did was thoughtful.

True vegans, know and appreciate that not everyone shares the same beliefs as they do.

She is probably just one of the many of what I call "soap box vegans"  

Answer 13

Do people really act like that?I think i would have lost my job that day.Cause I it would have been real hard not to shove that cake right down her CRAPPY THROAT.All the work you did,the thoughtfulness involved in baking.Bake me a birthday cake! I'll eat with a big ole glass of milk.

Answer 14

I don't believe this actually happened.  This is a stereotype of how vegans behave.  Most of us would thank you graciously and then offer the cake to other people at work while declining to eat it ourselves.

I cannot imagine someone reacting like this.

Also, it's kind of weird and stalkerish for you to make a homemade cake for this virtual stranger.  When you give someone a gift, you do not have the right to expect the response that YOU desire.  If you expect a certain response and you are mad that you don't get it, then you are not being generous.  Rather, you are using gifts to manipulate people's behavior and that's just wrong.

Answer 15

You were absolutely right and no, you weren't out of line.  I am also a vegan but if someone made me a cake I would thank them but I wouldn't eat it.  I'd just leave it for others in the office.  She came off as a total snob and I think it's great you told her to go to h**l.  It's people like her that give all of us other vegans a bad name.  

Answer 16

I am a vegan, but what she did is totally out of line and tactless. You went out of your way to make her a nice cake and all she does is throw a tantrum and doesn't even say thank you?! How rude and ungrateful!

If I was in that situation, I would have had a small piece just to show that I appreciate that you thought of me and would surely not throw a fit because you didn't know about my dietary habits!

She handled that very wrongly. SHE was out of line, not you. Wow. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a person. She is a discredit to vegans everywhere. It's a choice we make for ourselves, and if someone else doesn't know about it, a calm, rational explanation is in order,not a hissy fit!

I'm so sorry. Wow.

Answer 17

she sounds like a *********. she could have nicely told you she couldn't eat it and given it back so everyone else could have enjoyed it. she shouldn't assume you know everything about her and her eating habits. it was very nice of you to make the cake, don't stop being nice to everyone else just becasue she's a rude you know what. some people don't think before they speak and she was one of them- come back at her next time there is a issue about whatever like "well how would I, since I dont have a heart"

Answer 18

OMG....No not at all...I cannot believe she would even have the nerve to do that and in that manner!!!

Answer 19

I think you were being very thoughtful.

In my opinion its HER fault that she didnt tell you.

How were you to know?!

Answer 20

Of course not!  She's the one who was out of line.  She could 've said thank you but no thanks!  There are a lot of things I can't or won't eat.  Dairy and eggs are a couple.  But there's no way I would have reacted that way.

That was a really sweet thing you did for her.  I'm sure she knows there are people in the world that aren't vegan. I've been in situations like that many times, and I always try my best not to offend or hurt anyone.

Please don't think all vegans are that way.  She's weird!

Don't let it get you down.  :)

Answer 21

You are nice.  She is way out of line.

She could have easily said thanks, blew out the candles, and let everyone else eat it.

Answer 22

no, you were not.  she was. apparently shes the one that doesnt have a heart.  all you were trying to do is be nice.  dont worry about it.

Answer 23

I think if anything, she was out of line, not you.

She could have been nice and thanked you for being thoughtful and thinking of her on her birthday... She could have even left it for your co-workers to munch on.

She seems like a real prick, and I think that was a very sweet thing you did for her, whether she liked it or not!

Answer 24

There are basically two types of vegans. Those who don't eat animal products and and those who don't eat animal products and are complete asshats about it! People like her are the reason this board gets flooded with questions by people who poke fun at the vegan lifestyle.

Tell her to stop being such a self righteous jerk. Being vegan has nothing to do with being a total b*tch.  

Answer 25

It was very nice of you to make the cake.  And it would have been nice of her to be tactful when she said she could not eat it but suggested her coworkers enjoy it.

You were not out of line here, she was.