Was I raped or was this consentual? How do I get over this?

Question

Ten years ago, when I was 17 years old, I had a sexual relationship with a married teacher at my high school. The very first time, he kind of pushed me into it and forced himself on me. I hadn't had s*x before. After that I willingly had s*x with him, mostly because I couldn't avoid him. However, when I think about it now, I feel like I could throw up. It makes me feel sad and I still cry about it. He had it all planned to sleep with me, the first time. And he even planned to wait until I was 17 since that's the age of consent. I didn't even realize what was going on the first time until he was up on me. And obviously, he used me and abused his authority. I was young and immature at the time and not as wise as I am now about this. How do I go about getting over this? It makes me sick to my stomach. And would that be considered rape (the first time)? How do you view this?

Answer 1

yes he did take advantage of you,   but you did say you were 17 right?   You know right from wrong.  You should have tried to stop it to begin with.   He is not fully to blame here.

Answer 2

Sounds like rape, I'm sorry that happened to you.

Answer 3

even thou it has been 10 years I would still report it  just think how many lives this b*****d has ruined  he should not be teaching any more find out if he is married a nice note from you to his wife could give him a little heart ache I a sure his wife would be interested in his extra activities

Answer 4

Yes this was rape. He forced himself on you. The other times you were scared and didn't know what to do which is understandable. this is rape...no teacher should have done this to you. It might be age of consent but rape is rape and when he did that....that was rape all the way. I am sooooo sorry that you are going through that. I don't know if you will get over this. If you do it will be a tough road.  

Answer 5

Im no expert in law but I would say that using your power the way he did and taking advantage of you the way he did would be considered rape. He used his position of power to get what he wanted from you. You probably felt a little "trapped" in the situation and maybe even a little scared to say no. This was a very sick act on his part and the fact that it was even premeditated is even worse. Not only do I feel like you were raped in this situation but I feel like he is pretty much a child molestor. Even though he waited till you were 17 He still had these thoughts before you were of age and that is very sickning. I do not blame you one bit for being sick over this situation, it is very sad and I hate to hear that you or anyone else has to go through c**p like this. This guy and anyone like him should be put away for life. Maybe if he was in prison someone could take advantage of him the way he did you and then he will know how it feels. You will never forget this and it will probably always come up in your mind and alsways make you feel sick. If it is unbearable maybe you can talk to a counselor or psychologist to get ideas on how to deal with your feelings a bit. But this was a horrible experience and it will never be forgotten. Sorry.

Good luck

Answer 6

Sounds like rape to me. You need to go to counseling for this.  

Answer 7

Head over to www.rainn.org. It may be able to direct you to someone who can help. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. Please be strong.

Answer 8

RAPE yea i say a therapist can help with this. and i think u should tell some with some authority thats the only way u kinda feel u kno safe

Answer 9

Since you were a minor, and he was an adult, it was all (statutory) rape, even if you consented.  

The first time was rape, without question, and after that it was seduction - you were manipulated into repeated s*x acts, it wasn't a sober and conscious decision on your part.  You were used.

Don't blame yourself for being a victim.  You didn't know better, but now you do.  Get some therapy so you can come to terms with this - don't let it poison the rest of your life.  Don't let him continue to have power over you and mess with your head - you're a full adult now, and capable of claiming your own mind back from his manipulations.